I got married 2 years ago. I have a 6 months old baby. I am feeling lack of love & attention by my husband though I know that it is just 'coz he's not getting time due to his office. He loves me I know but doesn't show it often.I think either he's shy or doesn't feel it important to show his love for me. Earlier in the very beginning of our marriage he used to do it but now no hugs, no kisses,no touch even. I observed that every time I have to begin to have sex with him. It seems to me that only I need it not he. After childbirth we didn't have any intercourse. I am feeling that perhaps his work is over & now he will do it only when he'll need another child. I feel life with him so boring & dry. He is a trustworthy person I know it that he won't go to another lady but the problem he doesn't come to me either. I think I am living with a workoholic. I am depressed. What to do to bring him back to romance?
2007-03-15 20:19:33 · 10 answers · asked by Tina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well if you can trust him, then that's good. Trust is probably the #1 important issue in any relationship. It sounds like you need to work on the #2 issue: Communication; if he loves you and you love him, talk to him, tell him how you feel. Make it known that this is important to you. If he loves you, he'll understand, and make the effort.
2007-03-15 20:44:53 · answer #1 · answered by Donnie Darko 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear... where to begin? A child is taxing not just on him but you. Are you on different schedules? He's up early...you slepp in with the baby? He may also feel tha this obligation is to make the family work especially since I assume you aren't working. I appreciate how you feel however he may simply be trying the best he can to make it work. Can you survive without him doing what he is doing? If so encourage him to spend time with you and the child. If not then appreciate that he is doing what he feels wil give your family success.
Also for each man there is period where his wife feels that there is less attraction or feeling in the relationship. It is not so. Sometimes you simply have to ride out the emotionless patches to reach that point wheere you reconnect and have an even deeper understanding of each other.
Good Luck
2007-03-16 03:28:53 · answer #2 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, not just online, because whatever is said won't make things change without some type of response on your part. There has to be a reason for his actions, and you'd have to ask him what would it take to have what you two had before your child. Let him know that you've been unhappy with the way things have been and you're willing to work on changing it with his help. You appreciate his being a good provider, but you want his companionship too.
2007-03-16 03:30:49 · answer #3 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first question is he an older guy and is he taking anythype of blood pressure medication and secondly do you have to always iniatiate sex and if so does he function then,And my last question is have you talked to him about it. I am somewhat in the same situation but I find other things to entertain myself don't let this depress you you have to start making yourself feel good first like go get you nails, feet and hair done change up your appearance a little bit maybe that will get his attention and if that doesn't work then buy you a toy because all women need to have at least one pleasure toy for situations like this.
i wish you the best
2007-03-16 03:28:13 · answer #4 · answered by KIMBERLY F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart,
Just like you talked here, talk to him. If you need to go to the Bible go there and recite that sex is not to be withheld form either partner!
My ex did this to me,but he was fooling around with other women and now he can do it full time because he got totally unplugged!
there is nothing wrong with you initiating the deal. You need to also realize that some men have issues with sleeping with the mother of their child. some men have the Madonna/whore complex. There may be some psychological reasoning behind your husband lack of interest, but you need to handle this now as honestly and loving as you can.
Get some professional help ok. I hope all works out with you two :-).
2007-03-16 03:28:37 · answer #5 · answered by Arene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
parenthood changes everybody, at least for a lil while. i am kinda like ur husband, with a child everything i do i think of the child first. i could care less about intercourse. i think your husband is working hard to be a provider now that he has a child in the world. express ur feelings maybe he doesnt realize it. give him some time. but make ur concerns known.
and to bring romance back....get a BABYSITTER for a night! go out like u used to.
2007-03-16 03:48:38 · answer #6 · answered by Not here 2 make friends 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something to share with you. You see, as long as he treats you right, he pays for the bills, have a house to stay, enough food to eat that is good enough. But having sex and kisses and hugs are all secondary to my opinion. If you feel bothered still, then talk to him about it. Tell him you feel lonely and depressed. Tell him your thoughts. If he cares, he will try to change. But give some time, It would not be an instant change but a gradual one.
2007-03-16 03:29:43 · answer #7 · answered by Ashley 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Spice things up..buy lingerie and/or dress sexy for him.
Maybe work out a little so that you'll look appealing.
I know it may sound kind of vain but physical attraction is very important.
If it's not that, maybe he has some erectile dysfunction problem.
2007-03-16 03:29:39 · answer #8 · answered by HaLF_BaKeD123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I am kinda going through the same thing, but please always keep this in mind,LIFE IS TO LONG TO LIVE IT UNHAPPY, for you and your child a depressed mom mean a depressed baby.
you do what you got to do and keep your head up. Good luck!
2007-03-16 03:33:22 · answer #9 · answered by jozlilnanjos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to be more sexy or attractive do some things that blow off his mind try a strip tease or buy two tikets to a place u n him only
2007-03-16 03:37:22 · answer #10 · answered by antish_r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋