How many people know of your fears?

Question

here a lil free advice...dnt let ne1 know of ur fears and weaknesses...especially ppl who answered my q where i askd abt ur fears....ur jus making urself vulnerable.....EVEN if u r afraid of sth, DONT show it...u keep doin that and ull get over it.

please calix, u thnk the wrld is full of do gooders? open ur eyes...

Answer 1

quite a few ppl actually. but thats only because i have quite a few friends and family members. LOL of course it goes without saying that i NEVER entrust my deepest secrets to random ppl i've just met or who i dont know that well... but i cannot in ANY circumstance keep everything to myself strictly for fear of being betrayed. that makes like safe-ER, but extremely dry, dull and lonely. plus, if u dont trust someone, noone will trust u. ppl feel much more intimate with ppl who r comfortable to talk to them about personal things. that makes them feel like someone trusts them and that makes them trust that person back. its a chain reaction. very simple and very beautiful...

my fears and weaknesses r shared so i dont have to be the only person in the fight against them. weakness is in inability to admit u need help. noone can face adversity totally alone. they'll win one fight, two.... maybe even a hundred!! but eventually they will reach a point where they will need help and there will be noone there to help.. that is a sad fate and wouldnt wish it upon anyone!!!!

being open about ur fears and weak spots in fact doesnt make u any weaker, but on the contrary....makes u MUCH stronger!! it helps u to get over ur fear, not by denying it exists, but by knowing u r not alone in having to face it.

remember that problem u used to have (the one u PROMISED u would never do again as a means of letting off steam or emotional anguish, as long as i didnt either?) well... how did u get over that? if i recall correctly, it was because u sharwed ur weakness with someone and that someone helped u to over come that weakness.

i believe i have said enough. ur a smart boy. i'm sure u understand what i am trying to say....^_^

Answer 2

A lot of people know about my fears because some of them are rather...weird yet related to things you encounter every day.

Example 1: I have a fear of narrow and/or steep stairs. Kind of something you have to explain to a friend when they wonder why you're not still following after they begin to climb a narrow staircase.

Example 2: I also fear going to the bathroom in public bathrooms when others are around. I just can't go, and I have to go through a lot of effort and anxiety just to find an empty public restroom so I can go.

I don't think it makes me vulnerable. I think it makes me safer, because people are much more understanding of why I do the weird things I do, and don't pressure me into situations that make the fear worse.

I kind of feel pity for you because you obviously don't know how to trust others. You can't go through life like that.

Edit: Obviously not, but damn, there ARE some people you CAN trust. Don't be so suspicious. I wonder if you have close, true friends with that sort of attitude towards people.

Answer 3

thats horrible advice laddy. part of being human and having real relationships with people is having the strength and openness to be vulnerable and share things like what were afraid of and what we care about most. If I did not have this I would feel such a lack in my life and probably very lonely. We are not meant to be so alone with our fears and intimate thoughts and feelings. I do think its wise to take great care in choosing who we let in and having to use discernment and be patient until we trust others is important. probably not just random people on the internet!!! but never letting people in, in real life? Ouch, no way - thats the most terrifying of all.
we all get hurt, sometimes life SUCKS
the test of real strength is if we choose to let our hearts shut down or if were willing to go through it and come out the other side

Answer 4

I study a e book by sebastian faulkes called human lines a unique with regard to the beginning up of psychiatry. the unique pioneers theory that there replaced into some thing in the technique of humanising and getting enlarged brains that meant some people have been paying heavily for the self understanding- i think of the phobia of worry has no function, and their clarification the main obvious I quite have heard in basic terms an evolutionary blip like dodo's. once you communicate that one million in 4 people at anybody time has a psychological sickness - no longer being waiting to look after our very own minds -then we would look fairly a mistake

Answer 5

You gave my answer even before I got to read your added comments. You are so right about opening yourself up to even those you think you can trust the most. You're making yourself vulnerable and I know from past experience if the relationship--whatever it may be (friend/lover/family), they'll use it against you, especially if it's emotional in nature.

Answer 6

Entirely too many, who do indeed take advantage and exploit my deepest fears and secrets. Yes, I need to stop doing that. Everyone loves 'dirty laundry' except when it's their own being aired.

Answer 7

That is very true, I do think ppl are mean, and will always hit you where you are weak..

Answer 8

My living and deceased relatives knew of my fears--and a few close friends.

Thanks for the warning. I don't want to make myself vulnerable. :)

Answer 9

I agree with you....I usually don't share that, unless its something relationship related that I discuss with my partner.