should I go after him?

Question

well I have been with my husband for almost 8 years, and have four kids with him, and all he has done is treat me like a princes and give me everything he possibly can, but lately he has been more distant then ever he egnores me, he puts me off, he always wants to be at work lately, and never wants to spend time with me and my kids, that is what hurts the most I have to fight with him to spend time with us, get this he is the only man I have ever been with scence I was 13 yrs, I am now 21, and I think I do deserve better then that, well I got in this big fight with him and I told him to leave, and made a big deal about it, what should I do

Answer 1

8 years?
Wow. You've been through a lot together.
Do you really want to throw that away?
Go after him, try talking it through with him.
There could be something on his mind and he can't get rid of it.
You two are probably close friends as well as lovers, no?
If so, be his friend, be the shoulder he can lean on.
If you can make it through this, you'll strengthen your relationship ^_^
good luck hun!

Answer 2

I think that you should go after him and talk it over. You say that you're 21 now? Well you guys do sound kind of young. Maybe he just wants to preserve his youth just a little bit longer but instead he feels that you and the four kids are holding him back. He may be feeling as if he rushed into the whole marriage a family thing too early. Sit down and talk with him in a calm and mature way. Allow him to do all of the talking so that way he will be able to get everything off of his chest and let you know how he feels. Dont pressure any questions or conclusion onto him.
Good Luck!!

Answer 3

You do deserve better than that but your kids deserve a father in the house too, so yes...go and bring him back and the sooner the better so things don't get worse. You don't want to give him any reason to stray from his marriage vows if he hasn't already by not letting him in the house. Bring him back in to the family and encourage him to open up to you about why the sudden distance he is displaying. Be prepared for the worse.....he may admit he did have an affair at which time it will be critical to the family's future on how the two of you handle it. But hopefully there is some other reason for his recent distance. Make sure you let him know how much you love him and that this isn't about throwing stones at him but its about the fact that you want to keep the marriage in tact. I have a feeling that he has something on his mind that he needs to discuss but is afraid or ashamed to, so you needs to provide an atmosphere that is open enough for him to open up. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I suggest that you should go after him.. Only for the sake of the kids... If i may at your situation right now i don't like having a broken family..and to your children they will find their father,. Its hard having at this situation because you don't know how to explain to your children why and where their father is... Don't do this to your children.. I said this because i am concerned even though I'm not yet married but i feel it.. I have been suffered having a broken family since i was born.. don't let your children's suffered this situation while its early i suggest that you'll be the one who will make the first move.. Good luck.. May God be with you and to your family always..

Answer 5

He has all the signs of a man having an affair with a co-worker.Do you no that 90% of all affairs happen with someone from the work place.I no you don't want to hear this and I no it hurts just to think it.Ask yourself this question why all of a sudden does he want to spend more time at work and why has he distant himself from you,if you can't answer these questions maybe he should.My husband was like yours he gave me anything I wanted and I knew he loved me because he would show me, but then he started working more and more and going out after work having drinks with male and female co-workers I didn't have a problem with this after all I trusted him.This went on for over a year he would find ways to get out of the house without me then someone at his job called me and said my husband and a female co-worker are having an affair well my whole life as I knew it was over and everything has been a lie coming from his mouth.This man I thought I knew for over 18 years had been lying to me for God only knows how long.The story is much,much longer but I think you get the picture.Please don't let him take you for granted for the sake of the kids it isn't good for your kids to see daddy walk all over mommy.Don't ask him if he is doing anything behind your back because he will just lie to you .Get a girlfriend and yourself to sit in a car that he won't recognize in front of his job and see where he goes after work.That is the only way to find out if he is up to no good.Check to see if he has more keys on his key ring and check the truck of his car men hind things there because there is no reason for us to look in the truck.Get the bills and compare what he used to spend back when he treated you good to now,See how much more he is spending and taking out of the bank. There are ways to find out if you want to find out, some wives don't want to no, do you ?

Answer 6

In all honesty, I would hire a Private Detective to watch your husband for a week. You never know what goes on when you aren't around, you know?

Maybe he is extremely busy at work and has issues going on there that he doesn't want to bring home to you & the children.

Have you thought about counseling?

Answer 7

well I would go after him because with four kids it is really hard out there. You do deserve better but you have to think of the children too

Answer 8

stick with your guns and plain out ask him if thete is anyone else and yes you are right love hurts and you do deserve someone who is willing to spend time with you and if hes not wanting that than kick him to the side not only do you deserve better so do your children

Answer 9

I don't know. Sounds like he either has something on his mind that is bothering him or he is thinking of someone else.
If you two can't seek marriage counseling then your marriage is bascially over and you should move on. Your right, you do deserve better.