I'm sick of having no confidence. Can anyone help?

Question

I need some advice on how to come across to people as confident - without having to resort to alcohol etc. I'm 28, have heaps of qualifications, have travelled lots. However, i'm still a nervous wreck when dealing with people! I feel inadequate, shy, stupid, etc. I'm constantly worrying if I am good enough as a professional as as a human being. I am beginning to hate myself for not being able to overcome this (believe me, I have tried. I dont know what else to do! - ive tried counselling, alcohol(!) - I know, stupid?! Does anyone else go through this? Or do you have advice? I'm in despair!! (i'm trying to apply for my 'dream' job at the moment but keep flopping at interviews as i'm not confident enough, though I know I have the skills)

Answer 1

Professional confidence is easy, you know your job, your capabilities. You already know what you have to over there. Bosses are not all powerful, all knowing, or better than anybody. They need people who can get their job done. They are more equal than they even realise for the most part. Approach them as such, I can do this ,I know about that, I am capable of making this happen for you. Focused on your abilities. And remember, you're offering them something. If they turn you down, it's their lose. Use that posture, theory using your time. Thank you for your time, you have my number, perhaps a later time. No shame, every one gets turned down. And love like the next interview is your job. It will enforce your mind set for the next one.

Answer 2

I can try! :) Ok- So what's wrong with you??? Really- I'm asking! You don't complain about your appearance, so you must be reasonably attractive. You're VERY well spoken- so you're probably just as intelligent. I can't tell what your personality is like through THIS medium- but I'd hazard a guess that you're pretty nice to be around (-at least until you get around to talking about how worried you are about failing at this or that. :) ). So what's the deal?! Listen; the bottom line IS; NOTHING you worry about- is worth the STRESS you're putting yourself through. NOTHING. You obviously have everything going for you- so it's your own insecurity that's getting in your way. Relax! Look at yourself in the mirror- and smile. The world is YOUR oyster- so go out & open it up & have a good time! And if something doesn't pan out- so what?- Something else WILL! The reality IS; you have the power to make your life a dream- or a nightmare. How it turns out depends on nothing & no one- but YOU. So make your dreams come true- and have a ball doing it! Good luck! :)

Answer 3

If you have the qualifications and experience to do the job, make sure they know. Try to relax. Tell them what you've done in the past that qualifies you. Give them what they want. Little white lies won't hurt you.
Depending on what kind of job it is, just let them know you can do it.

If you are obviously nervous, which is very normal, by the way, tell them "I'm sorry if I seem nervous, I'm better at "the job" than I am at interviews".

Don't try to be funny or suck up.

Don't use cliche' phrases like "I think I will be a great asset to the company". Just tell them "I love this kind of work and I won't disappoint you". They're still going to train you anyway.

The best interview I ever had was for a job I didn't really worry about getting, but don't tell them that.

And make sure you are articulate on your application. Spelling, grammar, etc...

Also, remember, the interviewer isn't always the one in charge. You're just trying to make a good impression on them so they can tell the boss.

P.S. Love yourself.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Here's my advice... act.

When you are going into that interview, play a role. You are the actress on screen that is playing the part of the perfect candidate, the one that gets the job. Confident, great eye-contact, good body language, etc... When you leave the office, you can fall down, shake, and pee yourself if you have to. Just get through the interview as who you think the perfect candidate is.

I watched John Thompson a lot. He was a US Senator and a movie and TV actor. He always plays roles of authority. He was the exact same persona on the Senate floor as in a movie. It hit me that he is playing a role whether in a movie or not. At home, he can sit in his jeans and have a beer and be scared sh*tless, who knows. When the confidence is called for, call on it. Make it work for you.

Then you don't have to be nervous, b/c it's not "you", it's the role you've created.

Answer 5

hey girl..i understand what you mean....what you need to do is to really focus on your strenghths.you sound like a really smart person..and i gather a modest one to.i can tell in your words.let your streghths be your guide.you dont need alcohol to show what you have..usually it makes the prob worse.listen shy isnt a bad thing at all.its actually an attractive feature in most people.use your qualifications for your streghth...study and know your job well.if you know it...it will ring out and confidence will come..especially when you help others.nine times out of ten other people are just as scarred of you as you are of them...its a matter of breaking the ice.i went through this when i was younger but the older i got the more confident i became.step out of your boundarys when going for an interview..try dressing up....get a new outfit and makeup for each interview...if you look good you will feel good....new clothes and makeup usually do the trick for me.....practice the answers your gonna be giving to this person....this will help.remember this.....i dont believe for one second that your inadequate ....none of gods chilldren are.be sweet!

Answer 6

Try to focus on your assets and talents while blocking everthing else out. It takes practice, but it can be done. Also, always remember to play up the things you have going for yourself and push your weaknesses out of the picture. It will not come overnight, but it will come.

Answer 7

stop worrying what people think of you. i don't even know ya and you seem like a very confident person from what i read in your question. you also probably worry to much about failing. don't it's just another way of learning. go get-em tiger you can do it. good luck p.s. they actually have classes on how to do great interviews, ya might want to check one out

Answer 8

Sweet heart don't let great opportunities pass you by ,try to put all that aside and just say **** it, I'm doing this.Go out there and conqueror your fears, even if it's just for that moment in time.

Answer 9

go 2 peekvid and watch the movie the secret