2 years ago I fell in love with The Perfect Man for me, but he's married... after a couple of months he said he couldn't leave his wife because of his daughter so we went our separate ways... Now we work together again, but we don't speak if we don't have to. But the thing is: he makes my heart stop everytime and I can't stop thinking about him even when we don't see each other... I'm in love with him and it hurts more than I can explain... And NO, I have no wish to go back while he's married, I just want to stop loving him, something that seems impossible.
I am also married now. And I love my husband very much, and I wouldn't do anything to hurt him if I can avoid it... But my Heart belongs to that guy and everyday I know that.
2007-03-15 18:36:13 · 20 answers · asked by myliz 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is a huge difference between Loving someone and being in love... I do love my husband very much... but being in love makes you anxious and do very stupid things, it's a strange feeling of happiness that supposedly doesn't last... that's what I'm waiting for, for it to pass...
2007-03-15 23:49:30 · update #1
Stay away from the married guy. He didn't pick you and that's the end of it... Take good advantage of what you have now, that's yours so some woman don't come around to do what you did... Don't let that happen.
2007-03-16 17:01:24 · answer #1 · answered by Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that you are going through this. If he is not willing to leave his wife, you need to respect that and understand, first and formost his daughter needs him the most. Shame on him for having an affair if you had an affair. I dont think that is a man you would want in your life anyhow. If you love your husband, then think about him everytime you look at this guy and realize it wasn't right from the begining. Its hard to see him, I'm sure. MAybe you should get another job position in the company or find a new job altogether. If your marriage is important to you, work on that, because thats what should be most important and try to figure out why you married your husband, because marriage is suppose to be "sacred" not a settlement. And Im not saying you settled, but if you didn't you would not be in love with another man. Best wishes.
2007-03-15 18:52:44 · answer #2 · answered by maria s 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you had me totally impressed that you did all the right things till I read the end. The good stuff first though...I think its excellent that even though you strayed and started doing the wrong thing with this married guy you stopped or should I say he stopped and he stopped for the correct reasons. So I can understand why you love him...he is an upstanding guy that said ok I slipped by having an affair but hey...my family and the mother of my kid is paramount in my life...as it should be. So actually I am proud of both of you for doing the right thing, even though it writes like a love tradgedy. Now here is the part that confuses me....How do you love your husband very much......your words not mine ......but your heart belongs to that other guy? If you love your husband very much......isn't your heart with him?...Ok here is what I suggest......Start looking at this in a different light. Although you fell in love with this other guy, you still have to admit it was under the wrong conditions with the adultry thing and him having kids and all, so you feeling alittle love sick, may in a way be kind of just the price you have to pay for engaging in a situation you really should never have been involved with in the first place. Do you see what i am saying here? I mean if you had never strayed with this man you wouldn't be feeling the whole love sick thing today right? So, in the meantime I would really focus in on your husband...no I mean really focus in on him....throw all your heart and soul into him and I think it will come back to you in such a good way that hopefully you will chalk this past experience up to history well learned....Good Luck!
2007-03-15 19:00:21 · answer #3 · answered by chcman74 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is this my estranged wife? You are not in Iraq with this guy are you? Because you are playing a very similiar scenerio that I suffered through (am still suffering through) since what I was told in March of 2005. Somehow I have a hard time believing this hadn't been going on longer. Though we are not here for me. So let me ask you this, "how do you say in the same breath, I love my husband very mcuh.... BUT MY HEART BELONGS TO THAT GUY AND EVERYDAY I KNOW IT!"? I have never been judgemental on this site in regards to my answers (not intentionally) but anyone who is a rational thinker would be very perplexed by this statement. We are to love one another in a Godly way, although a man and a woman are brought together to become one flesh, so that they are no longer two but one. in the bible it does not say one and some change.... So how do you claim to love your husband at all if your heart belongs to another. You do your husband and yourself a very big injustice by holding him at arms length ubtil you truly know whether this other guy is going to come calling. Even if he say does leave his wife and the two of you marry, live together, whatever what prevents him from not finding another you or visa versa. Why is it so hard to find contentment in our marriages. I will never find closer to my divorce because I never found out what the hell happened. I was very bitter about this for a long time and might sound as if that is still present today. I feel very hurt by what happened, although I by the grace and mercy of God had made the decision to forgive my wife and her lover and I can not and will not go back on that. If you want to stop loving him then you take whatever steps you need to in order to remove that stumbling stone in your path and prove to yourself tht you truly love your husband. I wish you the best in your decision and may the grace of God and the peace and love of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you now and always.
2007-03-15 20:37:35 · answer #4 · answered by dad_raisn_5_onmyown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are screwed he is going to get you. You having to see him and your heart wants him its just a matter of time. One day you will bump into him the touch the feeling the emotion is going to break you down to mere mince meat and you will be on your knees to him. Its building up slowly and when it burst its all over for you. You never should have got married and being with him isn't the worse thing in the world just because he is married. You could have still enjoyed him but now you are just miserable and you will always be until you get away from him and never, ever see him again not even in passing. You should have stayed singled and kept seeing him and the infatuation or love would have started to die off by now and not be lingering on and on and on and on. Love is like a drug and you are addicted your hooked you got to have it.
2007-03-15 19:23:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your dreams! He's taken, you're taken, so get a hold of yourself, and stop acting like a teenager lusting after something they can't have. If you were a mature female, you would go up to this guy and speak and let him know how you felt from his confession, and tell him how happy your life has been with your husband, and go from there. This should cause a lot less tension between the two of you.
2007-03-15 19:02:30 · answer #6 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seen it. It is difficult but, you can deal with it 1 day at a time.
You can move to another state, but, it won't make it better.
Avoiding or not talking to each other does not help either, since, internally you are feeling love for each other.
I hate to use the 'cheat' word, but, effectively your heart as already cheated on your husband.
perhaps, in your case, you can talk to your husband about it?
2007-03-15 19:28:16 · answer #7 · answered by Darwin C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing more inviting than the something or someone that we can't have. If you truly loved your husband then your heart would not belong to the other man.
2007-03-15 18:44:42 · answer #8 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first of all yeah never mess with a married man.there is nothing you can do he isnt perfect no one is and if he was than why is he cheating on his wife.he probably loves her but he used you sorry but its true if he really loved you he would of left but he doesnt .and just try hard to get over it how would you feel if someone tried to break up your family that is just wrong and why did you get married for if you still have feelings for someone else?and the best way of getting over him is work somewhere else.so you dont have to see him.
2007-03-15 18:51:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your heart belongs to one, how did you come to marry another? Was it for revenge? How does your husband think about this situation? Does he know that he loves you but you don't love him first? What a sham. I feel for your husband.
2007-03-15 18:48:18 · answer #10 · answered by noonecanne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋