A question about marriage have you gone though this?

Question

I have been married 13 years and it has not always been easy. I grew up in a home where my dad cherish and adored my mom and lavished her with so much like roses diamonds trips away from the kids dinner out once a week they will be married 49 years in late spring she has never had to worry in her younger years ever and she never had to work outside the home.

Is it normal not to always be connected to your spouse, it is normal not to like eachother at times, is it normal to feel that you feel taken for granted?

I just got some bad news today which felt like a swift kick between the legs and as a result things are going to be very tight finacially until we get better jobs.

I would never get divorced but I can see why people do because marraige is hard and it is not the easy when things are so damn expensive.

What are good godly ways to "suck it up" and deal with the punches life gives out how can I not tkae life and trials so personally in our marraige?

Answer 1

I completely understand what you're getting at here! Marraige is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life! I never knew it could hurt so badly, because yes at times you feel taken for granted and unappreciated! And yesI think it's normal not to like each other at times, we can go days without speaking in my house! But we are learning ways to work through these problems! And I get where your coming from with the background of your parents relationships, it sounds like the home I grew up in! But times have changed and things aren't like that anymore-unfortunately! And event hings that look beautiful and perfect on the outside, usually aren't so perfect when you get to know it on the inside!
Don't feel like you are the only one with a ahrd time, everyone has them, at least everyone I know, they just put up a good front for other people, but wait til they get home!
And it's really hard when you are going through a rough time, but don't feel like you are getting the support you want or need from your spouse! It feels like you're all alone and it hurts!
Just think of the good times! Cling to them, cherish them! And everytime things get rough, pull out your memory roladex and turn to the good ones! That should help you get through those not so good times! And pray for the strength to move on and make it! Pray that God will show you the way and show you what you need to do next! Pray that God will bear your burdens for you and take them off your shoulders! But you must be willing to listen and hear what he says! And you must be willing to turn your problems over to him, to let them go!
Good luck-hope this helped!

Answer 2

Marriage like anything else in life is expensive. What my wife and I did when faced with any problem was to hold each other and tell each other it didn't matter as long as we faced it together. That's what you have each other for. You are each other's crutch to lean on. That's the secret to a long and happy marriage. And by the way, when you start really sharing that feeling with each other every day, nothing else seems to matter and you never have that feeling of being taken for granted, not being connected, or any dislike for the love of your life. The money problems will continue to be there, but you'll find a way to solve them because you know you can rely on each other to help.

Answer 3

I understand COMPLETELY what you are going through. You need to seek some marriage counseling, it works, trust me and it helps rekindle those flames and relaxes you.
Look up how to cope with stress online, there is some great advice on there.
But what you are going through is completely normal. Things are alot harder now for couples then they were when are parents were first married. The world has changed and we have to adapt. Just try to remember why you married your hsuband in the first place and think of all the blessings you do have in your life, like your children (if any). Love is way more important than money.

Answer 4

Your significant other is supposed to be there though thick and thin, I know that my husband and I have had our rough patches, some people's marriages are like your parents, my parents have fought and lived paycheck to paycheck but they are going on 35 years. You need to be able to support one another though everything, yes sometimes you might feel distant from your spouse and sometimes you might not like decisions they make, but you married them and though everything you will be next to them. It has nothing to do with "godly" as much as it has to do with realizing that you love this person and are willing to make it work because they make you happy.

Answer 5

You need to communicate what your needs are now!
I've been married 16 years and I know how hard it is thats for sure.

Stop looking at other peoples lives and start looking at your marriage right now and how to improve it for a better tomorrow.
Good luck to you.

Answer 6

have u ever tried talking to ur mom? im sure u dont have the whole picture of what her marriage was like, every marriage has struggles and every life has worries. u seem to think ur father kept ur mother from worrying or struggling. then u look at ur husband and think u might as well divorce him.

Answer 7

Perhaps it would help to speak with your mom. She could advise you better than anyone, the secret of their success.
And I bet it wasnt ALL roses and diamonds.