My older brother has had a rough past year. All three of his closest, best friends were killed, and his gf of around 2 years left him without given reason this past week and won't return his phone calls. Today he spent most of his time at his friends' graves, which upsets me because I'm really worried if he has the courage to handle all of this. I can tell he has low self-esteem/worth and he has lots of pent-up inner anger. We're not too close but I want to help in some way. I want to do whatever I can to cheer him up and inspire him to look toward the future and not dwell in the past. Any advice? I'm thinking of casually leaving little quotes and stuff around where he'll see them and telling him if he ever needs someone to talk to I'm here...but that's all I've got so far. Thanks in advance!
2007-03-15 18:16:12 · 17 answers · asked by Bee 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Maybe get him out of the house...
Hockey games!!! Basketball Games!!!!
Something he enjoys and might find some new friends....
Professional help might do some good.
He needs some type of activity.. How about bowling... Tennis.. Get with a club of some sort...
Bowling is ALWAYS good. Many leagues out there and everyone for the most part cheers you on.. Even if you are a beginner....
2007-03-15 18:23:53 · answer #1 · answered by Renoirs_Dream 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God is not punishing you. God's love is stable and He never walks out on you - only people do that. Turn to God and pour out your feelings to Him and know He wants to help you with life always. God cannot make your ex grow up and be the man he should be. Jesus can help you no matter what is going on and He wants to do that. You made mistakes in your relationship and so did your ex. I honestly don't know what you need to do about your relationship, but I do know that God knows and will help you. Healthy 33 year old men do not have any interest in a 20 year old girl - he is making big mistakes in this area. But, you can't force Him to change.... You can start helping by giving your ex to God and asking God to work with him. God wants to help your guy turn into a man and a good man! No problem you have is ever a challenge to God. Don't rely on your feelings right now, they are up/down/all over the map. Pray and ask God to lead you and help you. Confess anything you know where you did wrong or didn't do right - so all is clear between you and Jesus. He does care!! I will pray for you, I am so sorry for this troubled time you are in and I truly believe that God will help you and bring you to some peace if you will let Him be your God in all this. Spirited Prayer Warrior
2016-03-29 00:43:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he would like to talk, tell him that you are there for him. Maybe you could find a grief counsellor he could talk too. Maybe his girlfriend broke up with him because she couldn't handle his depression. I think he definitely needs grief counselling. I can tell you from experience that crisis situations bring people together, I think that you can become closer if he realizes that he has your support. If you can't find a professional counselling go to a library and borrow books on coping with grief. You will understand better his feelings and have more power to help him. Good luck! Your brother has a good sister!
2007-03-15 18:30:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could check him out some books on self-esteem/self-confidence; positive affirmations; surviving the loss of a love, and other books from the library. These types of books have really helped me when I had a lot of sorrow happening at one time.
You could suggest that he see a doctor or therapist, due to losing so many who were dear to him. Explain that he needs to be able to get all of his pain and anger out in the open, in order to start dealing with it.
Good luck. You are a good sibling to your brother.
2007-03-15 18:21:38 · answer #4 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it is sad that he had to face so much sorrow all together , but the underlying idea that you should understand is that death is inevitable. of course this saying is preety darn old, but it carries a lot of sense. after some loved persons death what matters is how much you all shared , and not how much you lost. bodies are temporary but memories are permanent, and if he is very emotional you should gather some strenght and talk to your bro and make him understand that even his friends in heaven wouldnt like to see him in such a state.
life moves on and so should your brother. this incident should not only tone him down but also prepare him for the future, as all ous loved ones are meant to meet god.
as for that girl, it only shows her halfheart and nonsense brain to leave your bro in middle of a soup. your bro is lucky that he has seen the true face of that no good girl now itself. may god give him a true understanding and supporting partner.
after all this i should congratulate you for the effort you are taking, for thatr only shows that you are a good human
2007-03-15 19:06:31 · answer #5 · answered by paladin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave him alone. Sometimes you just have to wait for the healing effects of time to take off. And besides, if he won't return his phone calls it's one obvious sign that he wants to be alone. If you really want to cheer him up. Do some of his fave things with him. Make sure anything you say or do won't remind him of his girlfriends or friends.
2007-03-15 18:21:24 · answer #6 · answered by Karmen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is really wonderful that you care for your brother so much. Your brother has gone through more than most people go through in such a short time. I would encourage him to go for some form of counseling. A professional, who can help him go through his grieving. It is healthy for him to grieve, but he should know how to handle this trauma. Are you able to talk to him at all? Showing you are there for him is a good way of showing support.
2007-03-15 18:21:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when people are in this state, they don't listen very well. They just focus on their pain and misery. I don't believe any one thing you can say will make him feel better. That's up to him to find a way to heal. The best advice I could tell you regardless if you are not close to him, is to give him a hug and tell him he is not alone in this.
2007-03-15 18:20:55 · answer #8 · answered by tctesting 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is having a pretty tough time right now. I'd say just being there for him is the best thing you can do. It's going to take awhile to get past the grief but he will in time.
2007-03-15 18:20:32 · answer #9 · answered by Bark at the Moon 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My brother is also going thru a rough time. I pray for him. I call him, tell him I love him. And encourage him. He calls me and tells me when he has a good day now and told me he likes to hear someone cares. Sounds like you care about your brother and are on the right track. Tell him you love him.
2007-03-15 18:20:11 · answer #10 · answered by beatch38 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋