I Wonder of all The "What Should I Do"? Questions Posted in M&D, How Many People Have a Clue What to do?

Question

There are many posts that often ask "What should I do"? after it is explained what the situation is. I mean so many are about cheating, abusive, and other very clear and present misery situations.

I wonder how many that have asked such questions feel they have a sense of what Moral paths they should take and already have "strong gut" feelings already.

I mean is common sense and logic not a trait of most humans anymore? Especially in the Marriage and Divorce Department.

I think it's good for all of us to get input, feedback, and ideas on some or many of our issues where we are perplexed. I do myself, but, I can't believe that some of the Questions asked here really are that hard for one to answer what the right answer and choice should be.

My Q:? What Percentage do you think you or those of you that answer feel that too many people ask Questions where the answer is obvious.

My own answer would be at least 70% of the people that ask what to do should know already.

Note To "QUEEN BEAN" and others that respond like her and obviously failed to read my question and process it.

I did NOT Fail in saying we all need feedback, input, etc did I?

My Question was simple in that I wonder how many already know what to do in their situations. Specifically ones involving Cheating and Abuse.

Many don't often say "I already know what to do, I just need some agreement or hear it from others.

Many present a "I don't have a clue" type dynamic. I mean as I said, it often is clear that many have an obvious decision to make, .....I merely wonder how many have a gut feeling and already know what they should do as many don't suggest they do.

K-bama....very sharp insight and response. You only clarified my observations and complimented my Question with extreme wit and obvious understanding.

I'm Hardly being "SMUG". I mean I made no points of absolution but, submitted my Q:? as a pure Question without taking a definitive position and saying "this is what people do, this is why they do it, and this is what I think of it". NO! I did not do this but, kept my thoughts open for question without taking a defined position.

I don't think those of you that have used the word "SMUG" truly know it's meaning or under what circumstances and dynamics the word would or should be applied.

At least I was not specifically accusatory. There is a difference between a statement and open ended questions where all is open to one's own interpretation.

Answer 1

This is a very good question. I intend to star it. I don't think the people asking these questions are really asking "what should I do" but are really asking "what should I do to get the outcome I want" These are two different questions. And just because someone knows the moral path that should be taken does not mean that they intend to go that way. Humans for the most part are basically selfish creatures looking to get their own way in life and since the past 30or so years have been dominated with a "me" generation it is completely understandable to me, anyway, that the current youth are looking out for themselves. I agree 65-70% are asking questions where the answer is obvious. Good luck -k-

Answer 2

I would feel safe in estimating the percentage to be in the 75 to 80% level. Many people have to know that they are in abusive situations or marriages that are unhappy or sexless, they just do not want to stand up for themselves, make a self- empowered decision and move forward.

It is much easier for people outside of the actual situation to come to an informed conclusion, some people who are living in the actual abusive or unhappy/unfulfilled conditions may be too close to see the broader picture.

A lot of people are affected by the fact that they either do not have a lot of self worth, or if they did have any self worth to begin with, the partner has made them feel so bad about themselves and incapable; that they will value the opinions of total strangers higher than their own knowledge.

I do not think that a lot of people are using common sense and logic in the world, so that trend is being reflected on YA. This is a sad comment on the human condition.

I don't even like to think of the times that I have answered the "Do you think my husband, boyfriend, wife, girlfriend is abusive? The questions sound so simular I have had to go back into my own list of answers to make sure that I have not previously answered the same question from the same questioner.

I know that there are people on here who have asked the same types of questions, with slightly different wording over seven and eight months of time. They have received literally dozens of answers, basically telling them to get out, to get help, to kick the abuser to the curb, to separate, divorce whatever the case may be. They obviously are not taking anyone's advice, they are searching for someone to agree with the decision that they have made to stay.

People just naturally want validation, and it may mean validation of the incorrect decisions; but validation nonetheless.

Looking in other areas on here there are many other topics that people should use common sense with, young teens having sex, doing drugs, trying to get rid of drugs in their system for a work related drug test that is being given the next day....kids asking how they can play sick so that they don't have to go to school.

Unfortunately for some of these younger people they will be the same ones on here in years to come asking the adult versions of these questions over and over.

Answer 3

Some of the others are right in saying you are being smug. However, you are forgetting that when it comes to relationships, people throw logic and common sense out the window. They only want to look at the good side of their lovers. They want to find a way to save a relationship that should NEVER be saved. Others are looking for someone to say, "Oh, yes! You're absolutely right. I agree with you". And others are just looking for absolution for their own stupid actions.
As for the cheaters, I am almost certain that most of them are liars. Look at their postings. Most of them probably couldn't get laid unless their partner had four legs.
And if you look closely, you will find some people have actually posted and answered their own postings just to get more points.
I am here only because I have knowledge that I try to share with those that I feel really need it.

Answer 4

Sure....... many already know the answers.... but hey we all also need reassurance from times that we are thinking clearly or making right choices or decisions, esp regarding abuse, cheating, divorce and so on when these are hightly emotional issues...

Answer 5

Don't be so smug. Emotional turmoil can lead to a need for guidance give people that are hurting a break. It's always nice to have your feelings affirmed even if have already made up your mind sometimes all you need is just have someone remind you that you're worth better.

Answer 6

the problem is they are afraid to make a mistake or are so into someone helping them make a decision that's what we are here for to help others as we want . to be helped ,i feel i sometimes can give better advice then taking it myself. plus i think it helps me to give back, what has been given to me .

Answer 7

I agree with you, it probably is around 70%. But sometimes we need confirmation and validation, especially if we aren't getting it at home, and it certainly is cheaper than therapy.

Answer 8

Percentage should be calculated not guessed...But what do I know