why are roomates sooo mean?

Question

This is my first year of college, and my roomate situation is not good!! My first roomate was my best friend, we lived together for a while then she started to be really mean to me all the time, then she dropped out of school. After winter break i started rooming with a girl i met through a club that i am a member of, now i regret it, because i think she is one of the meanest people i have ever met!! Please give some advice on how to make roomate relationships work!!!

Answer 1

I'm 28, and I've had a lot of mean roommates. Here are some practical tips: 1) figure out what you're like to live with, and be upfront about who you are before you move in (i.e. I'm kind of messy, or I like to have my boyfriend stay over, will you be okay with that?). This helps you set expectations so no one is surprised; 2) Come up with a list what you need, and try to pick a roommate who will be like this--look into honors dorms, co-ops, etc. Don't choose someone you think is cool--choose someone who seems quiet and easy-going. You could ask for references; 3) Consider university-housing next year, if you haven't--you can make allies with your neighbors, arrange roommate swaps, and get help from your RA if your roommate is crazy; 4) Agree to discuss things that bug you. Ask, is there something I'm doing that's bothering you? You seem upset. Sometimes it's something easy that can be fixed. Try not to get too mad if she tells you something that you think is crazy--it's hard to make suggestions to your roommate; 5) Try to live in housing that you can get out of easily. Then if your roommate turns out to be crazy, you can get out of the situation; 6) Choose housing with enough space and quiet areas so you both feel comfortable; 7) Consider living in a larger group so conflicts can be resolved within a community; 8) consider living alone--roommate situations are often hard and you may just not want to bother; 9) reflect on why you might be hard to live with--sometimes it's hard to see when you haven't had a lot of roommates--try to change things that might be annoying; 10) Make some other friends so you can go there to cool off, and get emotional support; 11) Ask us and your friends about how to solve specific problems--they might have unique solutions. Good luck.

Answer 2

I'm sorry that you are in such a situation with a college roommate. Have you thought of talking with your residential advisor? Perhaps he or she can give you some advice on how to approach the situation. Is there any way to change your living situation? And I'm wondering how you have tried to handle her mean behavior up until now. There are most likely quite a few months before spring semester is due to be over.

I can only speak for myself, but if it were me, I would Not use the term 'mean' if approaching her about it. It can merely be counterproductive and will most likely not help you get positive results. Trying to remain not only calm but with a neutral tone in one's voice can make all the difference with the possible outcome.

If you really feel uncomfortable rooming with her and perhaps even unsafe, how about certainly trying to room with someone else or find out if there is room for you to join another apartment or dorm room perhaps without approaching her about it. I suppose that you can go with what your gut is telling you to do. And please feel free to give a couple examples of what you mean by her being so mean to get a better idea of what you are dealing with (if you feel ok with that).

Answer 3

nicely, once you're so undesirable at this i'd advise writing a be conscious. then you definitely do not could stand her and start up stuttering and feeling embarrased and unable to definitely KICK HER OUT. in simple terms write a very good be conscious putting forward "expensive X, please do no longer ignore that the employ expires this month (aka in 4 days) and, as a lot as we've loved having you as our centred visitor, we favor the room with assistance from the first week of Jan because apparently some kinfolk will be coming over and we fairly favor the area. i'd fairly get excitement from that you'll make preparations to flow formerly then -- i'm particular you should have checked on some ideas with assistance from now". era. She isn't that strong of a buddy if she concealed such an major element from you. So i doesn't worry that a lot about her both.

Answer 4

Two roomates, both mean. What do they have in common? Oops. Maybe you need to take a step back and look at what they were mean about. What could you have done that would have made the situation more tolerable? What is it that made them mean? Were they upset about your housekeeping, or music, or eating styles? When looking for a solution to a problem, most people tend to point the finger anywhere but at themselves. As my wife would say, "Time to put on your big girl panties and get over it."

Answer 5

Roommates are part of the learning experience at college. They teach you how to deal with future "mean" co-workers and other people you have to deal with the rest of your life. Like a certain co-worker who thinks he has the best voice in the world and will not shut up. Telling all about his great life achievements and past STD's. But thanks to my past college roommates that were similar, I am able to deal with it and still enjoy work.

Answer 6

Girl roommates are like that they are jealous and always compare. You cant help that, you need to learn to live through it.

Answer 7

Start by growing a thicker skin.

Answer 8

Well, try to avoid having casual sex with her. If she falls in love with you, it can turn quite uncomfortable.