My son is being bullied,what would you do?

Question

My son , 6 yrs old, says another kid has strangled him and tells the other kids not to play w/ him. It is really sad because they used to be friends but then he made another friend he likes better. He is having a hard time dealing w/ it and still trys to play w/ him, which anoys the boy all the more. My older son had a bully and I talked to the school but they would not do any thing about it so I told him to hit him back. It worked and the kid didn't mess w/ him anymore, but I always wondered if I did the right thing. I hate my kids being victims. After he had done it I told him to only do that in self defence and NEVER hit a girl of course. He did well w/ it and never had much problems after that.So what do I do this time around? I hate violence. I would love to have him in another class, because he has told me that his teacher never forgives him, but I doubt that it could be arranged because all the classes are full. When ever I talk to the teacher bout anything she seems defensive.

He will not leave the boy alone cause he doesn't understand why the boy doesn't want to be friends any more.

Answer 1

First of all, take a deeep breath.

You love your boys.

Children can be very mean. Have our son tried the ignoring the bully approach? You need to let them know that they do not have to like everybody, and that some children will have other friends. If he is being picked on he is not to feel that he has to still be nice to the meanie. Encourage him to express his feelings not suppress it. It must hurt him how this former friend is treating him but tell him quite frankly that the bully is no longer a friend as he does not respect him and is acting silly.

The schools tend to be afraid to do the right thing. They may think that your over-reacting to a regualar and normal situation. You are not over-reacting but trying to be proactive and trying to prevent a possible worse problem. Not many schools care about the psychological well-being of kids.

Well, enroll your sons in karate classes. The confidence alone that they will acquire will help.

You have to find a way to fight the 'victim' syndrome. This means combatting the 'have to be nice and everyone has to like me' mentality of our innocent chhildren. Unfortunate though it is.

If all else fails, consider moving your boys to a smaller school where the teachers have time to properly supervise the kids.

By the way, the none hitting of girls presupposes that THEY -the girls - don't hit first. If the girls know that your boys won't react they too will take advantage of your sons thus further wearing down their self esteem.

Have Daddy, an uncle etc. actually TEACH them how to react in the situations that presently bother them.

Talk to your boys often and realistically.....they are not too young.

Remember all of this is life skills.

Answer 2

The older son should be sticking up for the younger one. Thats what my kids do, bullies back down if they gotta fight the whole family. Or you could go to the bullies parents, my wife has done that in a neighborhood issue. It worked too.

Answer 3

I go along with the advice to take it up with a higher authority if the teacher isn't taking the matter seriously. The other thing I want to strongly urge you to do is speak with your son about what is going on. Please be sure he understands that it is not his fault in any way...that he is not worthless...that people love him....and that bullies are insecure people who target at random. I pray that things work out for you & your child.

Answer 4

I too was bullied at times through elementary and part of jr. high school. I was an easy target because I was afraid to fight back, which made me an easy target.

My mother had the school set up a counseling session. From that session, I was signed up for wrestling classes. Right after that one of the larger boys tried to bully me off of the tennis court and I whacked him over the head with my wooden racket. I ended up in the principal's office and thought my life was over. to my astonishment the principal stood up, leaned over his desk, extended his right hand to me and said, "Congratulations son, now don't ever do that again." That one experience changed my life. From that time on I was never bullied again because I knew I could defend myself AND it was ok for me to do it.

Your son needs to know that he has the right to fight back AND that it is ok for him to do so. When he does it, remember how my jr. high school principal handled it.

Have a blessed day!

Answer 5

Be stern and tactful and tell the teacher to supervise the bully and if she/he does not comply, bring it up with the board of education. Assure the teacher that he/she will be held responsible, in civil court, if harm comes to your child due to her neglect. Take detailed notes of your situation. Follow-through with your promise! You pay taxes, your child has the right to an education.

Answer 6

If the school wont help go to the school board. There are bulling rules in place and your child does not need to be treated this way. He has rights to an appropriate and safe educational setting. Document everything that happens. For example(what he tells you, marks,threats,phone calls to the school, letters to the teacher and so on.) It will help your case.

Answer 7

Go to the school and beat the ******out of this boy! Don't let him pick on your baby. No, really- you should really talk to the school or perhaps the kids parents. Usually the kids beat on other kids because they are having issues at home or some emotional trauma. He could be troubled. It's sad that the schools don't do anything these days. Good luck !