What do you think about this situation? What should I do? Please be nice.?

Question

I am going to be 18 in October and my fiancee just turned 21 in February. Our parents know we are together and that we are engaged. They also know we are sexually active. We are very happy together and do want to be with each other for the rest of our lives. We have talked about having a baby and we think we are ready. We might be wrong but put it this way, we are ready for any challenge that God desides to give us. No matter how hard it is. We have family and friends that will help us out as much as they can. We are getting finacially set, we have enough money. I am still in high school, even though people might say it is not a good time; I think it will be okay. I will and can no matter what graduate and go to college. Trust me, we have talked a lot about our lives and our future family. What do you all think? Why or not? Please be nice and leave good answers. ( I am not some stupid 17 year old, I am very mature for my age and I am a planner, I plan everything out WAY ahead of time)

Answer 1

I personally think that if you know what you want, then go for it. Alot of girls now these days dont and end up in a bad situation. Sounds to me like you do have everything planned out. I think that it is all how you feel. It may not be the right time because of your age, but it is totally up to you. Keep on that path and you and your bf will end up fine.

Answer 2

WOW!! I am not going to be mean, but honestly please think about this a little more, do some research. I am 43 years old my kids are now 16 and 21. I could not imagine what I would have done if I had had them any younger especially as young as 17. It is so much harder than you realize. Honestly. I love being a parent but it is hard.

Enjoy your life now. Go to College. because you have no idea how hard it will be to go back once that baby is here.

A baby is a true true gift from God but it is a gift you have got to be prepared for because it is a gift that ends up being alot of sacrifice and hard work.

Once you graduate and get married, that adjustment will be hard enough, it will put such a bigger burden on the two of you if you deal with that adjustment as well as the adjustment of becoming parents. I know too many women who started out young like you want to and by the time they were 30 or 35 years old they were having "identity" crisises and realizing that they missed an important part of their young adulthood, and what did most of them do? Leave their families, kids, everything to go pursue what they felt was missing in their lives. I know that is something you can say now that you would never do but so did they.

I think it is great that you have found one another and want to commit to each other. But take the little steps first, save the big ones for later, you will have plenty of time for a baby. Go to college, get your degree, get your experience, enjoy your young adulthood.

Things change more than you can ever know once a baby enters the picture. Make it a happy, stable time for the baby, make sure you are married and you guys have established a good working marriage, get your degree, get jobs, enjoy each other for a couple of years and then go for it!!

Congratulations and I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

I met my husband when I was 18, and we knew we wanted to have children. I also knew I wanted to go to college! I did not get married until I was a sophomore in college (20 years old). We too talked about having a child while I was still in college, and believe me...I am glad we waited until now. I am now 23 and my husband and I are expecting our first child any day now. It will be tough taking care of a baby and studying for tests, finals, writing papers, putting together projects, and on top of that you are going to have to work because no matter how financially set you are, babies aren't cheap nor is college.You are going to have doctors appointments and there will be times that you will get so wrapped up in the baby that you are not going to care about anything else in the world. I know this is not the answer you are probably looking for, but it would make your life so much easier.Plus wouldn't it be nice to know that you went to college first and then have a baby and be able to devote all of your attention to your little creation instead of the grammar on your midterm essay. Oh and I did graduate from college with a bachelor's degree. I too am a planner and trust me some of the best plans fail because God has a reason for it.

Answer 4

You want people to be nice to you with their answer's, does that mean you want honesty or just the answer you are looking for? If you are mature and responsible then what are you doing? If you are ready for "any challenge that God decides to give you" why aren't you waiting until you get married to have sex? Isn't that challenge enough? Why should you depend on your friends and family to help you out with a baby you have BEFORE you get married? Much less before you finish High School. What church do you go to that condones pre-marital sex? And even though your parents know that you are sexually active what makes you think that they are happy about it? What on earth is wrong with waiting a year or two until you get married and establish a home for yourselves? What is the rush? Are you afraid that if you don't have that hold on your guy he might walk away at some point? Or you might walk away from him?

Please please please re-think this. You are only young once and parenthood is forever....it is a lifetime of great wonder and love and joy. And also fear, worry and pain. Wait a year or two. Get married have a good time, establish a beautiful home then have as many babies as you want and can support!! Trust me, children are worth the wait. You won't regret it!! Good luck & best wishes.

Answer 5

While I commend you for giving this the forethought that you have I still think that you are doing yourselves an injustice by making this decision at such a young age. As a parent you have to be unselfish. That means that you must at all times put the needs of your child first.
In my opinion you should be thinking about the relationship you have with your boyfriend first. Nurture that. Grow together, you are only 17. Not that I am implying that you are immature, but that you are youthful. Go on vacation together. Spend time really enjoying each other as people. friends and lovers. You will NEVER get this time back. Once you have a child, ready or not, your whole life changes.
On another note, you need to think about the worst case scenarios. What if you have a baby that is premature? Are you ready to deal with that? What if you have a child that has special needs? Can you deal with that?
Sometimes we are selfish in our wants that we don't think about all the outcomes.
If you have thought all of these things through and still make the decision to go through with this, then I wish you all the best.

Answer 6

I think if you love each other get married first and then have kids. You two need to work on being finacially independentt before you bring a child into the world. You need to be responsible finacially for your child not any one else. If college isn't for you take a trade. You may have love for your child but you can't a raise a baby on love and no money so get married and get some edcaution and money under your belt. also you're having sex with no finacial stability. Don't always depend on your boyfriend to be there for you always. It's happend so many time when the woman thought her boyfriend was so great and he ran off because he couldn't handle the stress of the situation and the woman was left all alone and broke with a baby. Get on birth control or use protection just look out for yourself. I hope you make the right choice before it's to late. Take care and be safe.

Answer 7

I graduated high school and college before I had my kids. It was a great time in my life to be free to be young and have fun. I can't imagine what it would have been like to have kids so young. Also, my husband and I both have very good jobs and own a home. We can give the girls anything they want. It's a nice feeling to know that we are financially secure. I think you really should wait until you have established income. Plus the first couple years of marriage are so fun! Don't rush it!

Answer 8

I advise waiting until you're out of school to get pregnant, just for a simple, practical reason: you feel tired and sick during pregnancy. It's hard to concentrate, you want to sleep all the time, and the cafeteria may not offer anything you'll want to east in the first trimester when you have morning sickness.

It would be much better to wait until you're done, so you can take naps in the day and have access to good food whenever you need it.

College may be easier because you might be able to plan your schedule so you can have an afternoon nap if you need it. Most days I couldn't get through the day without one, I'd go lie down on the couch in the bathroom and snooze for a half hour.

Answer 9

If ya'll plan on being together for the rest of your lifes then give it time. Finish school get married and then try to start your family.. You dont want to rush into things to early and even though you both have family and friends that will help you that still wont be enough. Having a baby and being able to care for it takes alot.. Believe me.. My mom and dad was always there for my sisters, but deep down they felt like they was the ones making sure the babies had what they needed.. I am not saying that this will be your case by all means I am not saying that. My husband and I got an early start with our first child and it was tough. He makes plenty of money and we are able to take care of our child with no problem.. And ya'll could be the same, but if it wasnt for his mom and stepdad letting us live in one of there houses we may not have been able to afford everything our daughter needed.. Please really think this over and if ya'll are certain that ya'll will be together for the rest of your lives then why could it wait....

Answer 10

See how good your marriage will be before you have kids. Give it at least 2 years together alone then try kids. That way your kids will have parents that are very close and are more mature for children. Thats the problem now days people dont give there marriage a chance before the challenge of raising kids ,believe me I have two children a girl and boy and they are a big challenge. Plus your education will be affected by having kids too early I've seen it happen many times.Please take my advice and wait you wont regret it.

Answer 11

Hey there. I would have to say that i am 19 and i am also engaged to the love of my life. We have talked a lot about having a family and we have family and friends behind us as well. We think that we are ready as well. All i can tell you is if you think you are ready to have a baby and you know you are ready then go for it. It is your choice no one elses. I think that if you are happy and you love eachother then having a baby might be even better. My soon to be hubbie and i have been trying for about 4 months now. but its really hard becuase hes always out of town. But we also know if we dont get it before we are married we have years to make a happy family. I hope that my advice helped. Keep your head up and dont get stressed out about it. Have fun with it. It will happen when it happens.