marriage???

Question

i am 18 and my boyfriend is 20 we have been together for 2 years. i know more than anything in the world that i want to marry him. we have talked about it before. he asked me to marry him and i said yes. however there is no ring and we have not told anyone. im 100% sure im ready to get married. theres only 1 delima money. neither of us have the resources. my family is rather wealthy, but im too afraid to ask my dad, i know he would say im too young. i dont know how i would even go about it. me and him have never had a good relationship. i plan on going to college and yes i know its more convenient to wait until after i graduate but its so far away. i know i want this. please help.

the big rush is because i love him. we already spend all our time together everyday. i want to be able to wake up next to him every morning. hes my world.

Answer 1

I am not going to lecture you about being too young.
I know people who have married young and been married for 40 yrs. There are also people who marry after knowing each other 10 years and the marriage doesn't last, so you are either meant to be or you're not.
In regard to asking your Dad to help you for your Wedding. You won't know unless you just do it. Perhaps he would love to do it for you.
Remember, if he refuses then that doesn't mean you can't get married, it just means that you can't have a fancy wedding.
If you truly love this guy and CAN'T wait then just do it as simply and cheaply as possible without any trimmings.
A fancy wedding does not guarantee a successful marriage, nor does a registry wedding guarantee a failed one.
You can always re-new your vows one day when you can afford to do it fancier.
Happy for you that you have found 'the one'

Answer 2

P'raps I am a little old fashioned but I don't believe marriage is the only way to have a fulfilling relationship. 18 is young but then again many a person got married young and things went well, but people change a lot between 18 and mid 20s. Tis also a strange anomoly but for some reason divorce is always seen as worse than a split in a non marriage relationship. Odd really.

It is easy to get married in the quiet without telling family but personally I have subscribed to the view that marriage is not just about the couple but it is a family thing. Family's like to be involved and it is part of their day too.

Answer 3

Ok, I would personally wait. My husband and I were married at 19. And yes, we dated for 2 years before. We had known eachother forever it seems. I wouldn't change a thing about it, except for maybe waiting until we were older. I mean I always knew I was going to marry him. And I never question why I married when I married him. But there will be alot of rough times getting married so young. About the money. I too was from a family that was very well off, and after I told my grandparents that I was engaged , there was no question of who was going to pay for the wedding. They knew it was what I wanted, and they were going to help.
I guess I really don't have any advice, except for the fact that if you do get married be prepared for rough times. Marriages do last. My husband and I are now 31. Married 12 1/2 yrs. Good luck!

Answer 4

Don't get married until you are 100% sure you are ready for it.
I was in the same situation. We were engaged but not ready financially for marriage. My family is well off and could help us the first couple of years but when I did ask my dad he said the best moments he ever had with my mum was when they were working hard together to get what they have now. My suggestion is to stay in college, maybe get a dorm together so you don't have to pay for as much costs as an apartment or house. And get married once you are ready. You don't have to have a house the second after the honeymoon so don't think that marriage will require a lot of money but realize it will take some effort on both your parts.

Answer 5

Well it is a little young i been married to my husband since we were both 17! You will for a FACT go through rough times because you still have growing up to do,it will either make u or break u! Me and my husband are the only ones we know out of all the couples at these ages that made it! and it was tough 18 is not near knowing what u really want u might believe u know(SO DID I) but u don't,You have not even made your wild oats yet! good luck! But don't we know all at this age!!!!!! i am 26 now , I promise u, don't jump to soon,wait 18 is to young to say rest of your life!

Answer 6

What is your hurry? My grandmother had a saying, "Marry in haste, repent in leisure." At 18 I thought I was in love, I was engaged 4 times before finally marrying at 25 and I am now on husband #3. Life changes, people change, feelings change. I know you don't think that is possible but the best thing you can do is continue to see this nice young man, enjoy your youth and get that college education. Then think about walking down the aisle. I know it's not what you want to hear, but it is sound advice.

Answer 7

Yes you are too young and money is almost always the root of differences in a relationship. Wait at least 5 to 6 years to get married. Live a little, go to college, date other people, travel. I can guarantee you that you will be a totally different person in 5 to 6 years than you are today. Listen to your parents they do in fact know alot.

Answer 8

Your father's right, you're too young. Go to college, get your education, and then after you're done with that, get married. TRUST me on this one, even though you don't like it. You don't want to get married while still in college, it's a recipe for disaster. My sister did, then got pregnant, and never finished college. Her hubby did, while she worked waiting tables 8 1/2 months pregnant, and then while she worked waiting tables with a 3 month old baby. She said if she had it to do over again, she would've definitely waited. If it's meant to be, it will work out for you guys to be together after you've both completed your educations, and grown up.

P.S. I'll second what Love said...if you're going to be married, you should be able to support yourself, financially, emotionally, etc. Until you can do that, you have no business being married.

Answer 9

I GOT MARRIED WHEN I WAS 18 NOW I AM 31 AND STILL MARRIED TO THE SAME MAN. THE KEY IS SEEKING GOD ESPECIALLY ABOUT MARRIAGE THOUGH THINGS SEEM LIKE IT OKAY NOW WHEN MARRIAGE COME IT WILL BE TOTALLY DIFFERENT. ASK YOURSELF WHY DO I WANT TO GET MARRIED LOVE ISN'T ALWAYS THE ANSWER. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE EVERY THING IN ORDER YOU STATED NEITHER OF YOU HAVE THE RESOURCES JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU HAVE THE MONEY IT WILL PROBABLY BE SOME YEARS FROM NOW BUT DON'T BE IN A HURRY. MY ADVICE IS TO GET CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE COUNSELING IF YOU CAN.

Answer 10

I didn't like the phrase HE IS MY WORLD because sounds more dependence than love. Marriage is not a game, it is not only about oh this is so romantic, waking up together everyday...it is about responsabilities, economics, adapt to each other etc because it is not the same knowing your boyfriend as a boyfriend when both of you have their houses than LIVING TOGETHER.
My advice is wait til you finish collegue because with marriage will be more difficult...for having a marriage you have to be independent and having your own world because love and romance are not everything.