My wife had a rough day.. I decided after dinner to put soft music, candles, dimmed the light...and now my 10 year old girl is having a hissy fit saying I dont love her as much as mom!! How can I fix this?!?! That girl is going to be the end of me!! Im a doomed man!!!!
2007-03-15 16:24:07 · 21 answers · asked by rokdude5 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hmmmmmmmmmm.................
Sounds like she needs attention. Is she a little drama queen or is she normal, and just needs attention?
Put your foot down, dad. You're the parent. You're not there to win her heart, you have to guide her into being an adult.
2007-03-15 16:30:22 · answer #1 · answered by Ade 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
you have to talk to your daughter, let her know you love her and will always love her; let her know you love your wife and that there is room in your heart for both of them. It's normal for a girl to feel like that......but you have to get her to understand; of course soft music and candles and dimmed lights was a little over the top while your daughter was there. You could have had dinner ready for your wife without the rest of it; do the candles and dimmed lights when you daughter is with her moms or spending the night at a friends.
I'm a mom of two daughters 22-18, and you haven't seen anything yet!
2007-03-15 16:31:24 · answer #2 · answered by abc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U like alot of other men, when it comes to their daughters, have created a monster. You've made her believe from the day she was born that the sunrises and sets because of her, that she is the center of your universe, and that your world revolves around her. And unfortunately what ends up happening is you end up with a child that is a snotty little brat, spoiled, and jealous of any and all attention that u give to any one else.. and what ends up happening is one day when they hit a brick wall and realize the world doesnt revolve around them, they are going to be crushed.. How do u fix it, by reasuring her that u love her, but that mom is apart of your life as well, and that a husband/ wife relationship is different then a daughter / father relationship, and that u have a big enough heart for both of them, and if she cant get it still, then u just be firm and let her know u love her, but that she needs to be able to share, just like u teach her to share her toys and what did u do when she wouldnt share her toys? u got tuff with her, dont worry she wont break , she wont just shrivel up and emotionally die from this, what parents fail to understand, is that children can handle alot more then they give them credit for, and as long as u keep reasuring ur love for her, she can handle anything.. even if it means she gets mad, or pouts, or whines.. better to put ur foot down now, then have a daughter that is "OBSESSED" with her father.. later..
2007-03-15 16:43:27 · answer #3 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dealing with the same problem with my 11 yr old grand daughter with her MOM & DAD. She playing them against each other, and knows how it affects their relationship, even though they are not married by paper. All this to say, kids will do any & everything a grown up will let them get away with. So, if she wants to play this game, and you fall for it, then shame on you. Put your foot down and let her know that if you didn't love her that she wouldn't have all the name brand material things, the monies to spend on unnecessary things she wants instead of need, no roof over her head in your house because there are places that are set up for kids who do not want to respect and do what their parents say for their best interest. Tell her that you are showing her your love by being in her life, (there are so many dad's who leave), and that one day when she's older, she'll understand this because she's going to be the parent. Then let her vent as long as you are raising her right.
2007-03-15 17:40:26 · answer #4 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this her biological mom or stepmom? At any rate, you are talking about a 10 year old child. You are the adult, the parent. You need to sit her down and explain that the love a man has for his wife is different for his love for his child. That people can love more than one person and that she is very special to you and no one will ever take her place. Good luck.
2007-03-15 16:35:46 · answer #5 · answered by curious74432 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i commend u for being such a great husband. your daughter is acting out in a very conmmon way. she just needs to know that she will have her special times with u too. just the 2 of u . and also, times with all 3 of u. but u really must take the upper hand also. hissy fits are not acceptable. she must have respect for the adults in her life. best wishes
2007-03-15 16:45:03 · answer #6 · answered by DEBI M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm no expert here. My best guess would be she would like more attention from you. Maybe you could try having some time with just her. Explain to her that it's your time with mommy right now but tomorrow (or whenever you can commit to), we'll have a dinner with your favorite food (if available). She does need to understand that you need alone time with your wife, but if she's starved for attention from Daddy - that needs to be recognized also. If she spends most of her time with you, she probably just needs to bond with Mom some more... Good luck!
2007-03-15 16:32:11 · answer #7 · answered by Questions 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you take care of the girl before your wife. Do what you are doing later on in the evening.
But it is a little odd for a 10 yr old to want to be with her parents all the time, 2-6 yr olds do that.
2007-03-15 16:36:06 · answer #8 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you can't fix it tonight, so don't try. let her cry and have you're wife talk to her and try to explain things to her. she's a little kid so this'll all blow over by tomorow. you need to do something for her she really wants. spen time with her and make her feel loved. my daddy used to take me to plays cause he knew i loved it more than anything in the world. do something you know beyond a shadow of a doubt she'll enjoy. the zoo, plays, a fancy resturaunt, anything she wants! and the whole time you're out with her refer to her as "you're date" and make everything all about her. this won't work if you have more than one kid of course, and you'll have to make sure you're wife is okay with it (it made my mom mad when i went on 'dates' with my dad, i don't know why).
kids are so cute at that age aren't they?
2007-03-15 16:33:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
rokdude5, talk to her, tell her that you love her mom in a different way then you love her but you love her the same amount. Personally I think she needs to just get over it. If she is 10 then she needs to grow up and act her age I mean my hell I was 11 when my parents got married and I never in my wildest dreams would have acted like that.
2007-03-15 16:32:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You aren't doomed you should sit down with her and explain your love for your wife and herself as well if this woman you are married to is not her mom explain as well your situation with her mom and how you feel for her. You should then try explaining to her why you guys broke up! I think its time...
If she died tell her, her mom will forever reside in your heart.
2007-03-15 17:00:54 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋