MY TWO SONS ARE WANTING TO GO TO THEIR DAD'S (HE LIVES W/HIS PARENTS STILL) AND I AM NOT HAPPY SINCE THE DEADBEAT OWES--NO EXAGERATION $28,000 IN CHILD SUPPORT. HE IS A POOR ROLE MODEL...KIDS SAW HIM DOING DRUGS...HE HANGS W/ SHADY CHARACTERS, HE HALF THE TIME IS NOT EVEN AROUND WHEN THEY ARE THERE....THE BOYS GO TO NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS ALL THE TIME AND THE OLDEST WHO IS NEARLY 13 LIKES A GIRL ACROSS THE SREET AND IS THERE ALOT. ...HAS EVEN STAYED THERE ALL NIGHT W/OUT MY PREMISSION....MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED THAT I AM CONCERNED ABOUT, LIKE THE DRUGS-SAW HIM DOING POT I THINK AND ONCE- SNIFFING SOMETHING, WHEN I ASKED IT WAS A BIG FIGHT...THEY ARE TURNING MY BOYS AWAY FROM ME AND TELLING THEM WHEN THEY ARE13 THEY CAN MAKE UP THEIR MINDS WHERE THEY WANT TO BE...ANOTHER ISSUE IS THAT THEY WILL BE 300 MILES AWAY.HELP..SHOULD I ALLOW THEM TO GO TO A PLACE WHERE I AM NOT COMFORTABLE...I AM TIRED OF ALLOWING HIM TO SEE THEM WHEN HE DOES NOTHING FOR THEM...HARDLY CALLS 1XMO OR LESS HELP!
2007-03-15 16:21:36 · 11 answers · asked by Jenblossom 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There was a court order drawn up after I moved. I left to escape his stalking and abuse...I was 13 when we got together..had enuff brains not to marry later once I knew him..tried for eight years to stay- after loosing myself, left..kids still have hard time but doing better- remarried 5years and so HAPPY but the saga continues...
his folks are really odd too and they are very lazy,,house is messy and Gpa likes to drink..takes Xanax and their Dad used to all the time too...
court order says he gets every last weekend of mo. some holidays and fall and spring break...he rarely has ever gotten them on designated dates,
he is a tirant- causes problems, able bodied but will not work to spite me..lives off parents..
my hubby disagrees w/ their going also...
have been trying to get him brought to justice over cs --ILLINOIS rarely does anything to send a message to dead beats Here in kentucky they lock up for $3,000 -Waiting to get case transfered
to our jurisdiction & action taken!
2007-03-15 16:55:31 · update #1
Jt, I work with kids that have been taken away from there parents because of this same thing that your husband is doing, the drugs and keeping them in the reach of the children and to be sending them there is bad on your part and if the cops came a busted them for doing drugs and your kids are there you could have them taken away even though you are not there, you knew he was doing this and still you put your kids in danger. I STRONGLY do NOT think that you should let them go, yeah they are old enough to be making there own choices but if they get in trouble are they going to be able to reach you? Are you going to be able to come and get them? And you have to think if your kids find the drugs are they going to try it even just once. If they do then you are going to have a BIG problem. For your kids sake DON'T send them.
2007-03-15 16:54:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not let my children go to their father house if he is that bad. You can tell the kids that if their father get help then they could go and see him. If it was just that he didn't call then let them go. But because of the drinking and drugs you have to think of the children first. And you have to keep them safe from all that crazy stuff. Until he get his self clean of the drugs then he would not be allowed around the kids without adult supervision.
2007-03-15 16:35:30 · answer #2 · answered by kool aid 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, only you can change this situation. You need to keep those kids out of that mess. I don't care if you have to move far away, you need to protect them. Talk to a lawyer, or call the courthouse, and find out if it's legal for you to move away from this situation. If they are in harms way over there, keep them outta there.
This is the chance to change the direction their lives are taking. Are you gonna fix it or watch them grow up to be like their dad?
2007-03-15 16:27:32 · answer #3 · answered by Ade 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a visitation order you should abide by its terms. If not, it is up to you. If the boys want to see their father then try to work out a compromise arrangement of some sort rather than letting them go to his paren'ts home. Seek assistance from your local child support enforcement office to collect what he owes you. You might want to consider counseling for your sons since they have witnessed so much drug abuse from your ex. Good luck to you.
2007-03-15 16:29:28 · answer #4 · answered by curious74432 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey-- whatever you do DO NOT let those boys go!!! if something should ever happen to them --you would never forgive yourself for letting them go. if you have a visitation order then go back to court to get supervised visits, that way he can do anything illegal in front of those children. i have been in the same situation before.my ex now has supervised visits, and he doest ever see them but thats all on him--not you. that way when your boys get older they know that it was their father that messed up not you and that you were always there and looking out for their best interest. good luck!!
2007-03-15 16:57:46 · answer #5 · answered by annieluvsgary 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take him to court over the back child support, they'll put him in jail and the kids won't be able to go visit
2007-03-15 16:26:10 · answer #6 · answered by abc 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know your hurting, he is poisining them, however they have their own choices to make, keep praying for them, only God can change them, seek God and you shall find Him, He will help you through anything......Jesus loves you
2007-03-15 16:40:43 · answer #7 · answered by Bert 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mom and dad told you NOT to marry him, but damn if you didn't know better..Nice little fix you're in now.
2007-03-15 16:26:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would be careful with that one
2007-03-15 16:35:18 · answer #9 · answered by bubbba2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL YOU SHOULD LET THEM GO...EVEN IF THEY hate you for it....DO NOT let them go. lock em' up, i'm tellin u!
2007-03-15 16:25:38 · answer #10 · answered by Butterfly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋