I'm 34 and have never been married. I have dated many great women that loved me, but inevitably I drift away from them within a year and can't stay committed. I thought I loved them for a while but later it turned out that I was only staying in the relationship because of guilt and the fear of hurting them. Could this be because I was adopted or why the heck can't I find joy in a long term relationship/marriage like everyone else?
2007-03-15 16:13:10 · 9 answers · asked by Jason 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It could have something to do with the fact that you were adopted. I work with kids that are waiting to be adopted and some of them have a thing called attachment disorder. Were they never attached to someone when they were babies and so they never "learned" how. So they never will be able to stay in a relationship. It’s more common then people think.
2007-03-15 16:25:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is there a reason that you need a long term relationship and/or marriage? Being like everyone else is not always fun. Single life is an ok choice also. You are imagining how wonderful it will be if you could stay committed - guess what, it isn't always that great and if you want it to work you both have to make it work. The commitment means you stay even when you don't really want to stay with them. I am not saying this is the best way for you to go. Again, single is a good choice too.
2007-03-15 17:12:28 · answer #2 · answered by ManOfTheHour 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are not easy. A lot of people loose interest after the so called honeymoon stage is over... Maybe you are dating the wrong type of women. Maybe you are afraid of commitment. You may want to consider seeing a therapist so you can find out if being adopted is one of the issues.
Good Luck!
2007-03-15 17:37:54 · answer #3 · answered by 2Tired 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question begs to be explored. I suggest you seek a therapist who deals with commitment issues and relationships and start talking through what is going on in your mind and heart. Being with someone because you don't want to hurt their feelings is never a good idea for either party. Good luck to you.
2007-03-15 16:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by curious74432 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might possibly be making to much out of this it just might be you haven't found that one for you.specially if your staying in a relationship out of guilt or fear of hurting them. everyone who gets involved in a relationship is putting themselves out there to be hurt. not intentionally of course, we know it may happen. i don't think you have a problem with committing yourself out of love ,you seem to have empathy that's a good sign. i think you haven't found the right women yet. how can you? you keep hanging on to the ones you don't care about right? does that make sense to you, i hope. just my thoughts, i hope it helps a little good luck and no worries.
2007-03-15 16:26:52 · answer #5 · answered by sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships many times take a LOT of work to survive. If you are waiting for a storybook romance that will never change for as long as you live, you will be single forever. Why do you drift? Is it because it becomes mundane or indifferent?
2007-03-15 16:21:21 · answer #6 · answered by Sluggo 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
maybe it's just because you haven't met THE woman yet......I wouldn't put too much into it being caused by adoption; I know several men that were adopted and they are married and have been for a long time.
2007-03-15 16:20:58 · answer #7 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great question dude. Good job in identifying the problem.
The trick is to talk to a good therapist, one you actually LIKE, who will help you figure it out. It's time and money well spent.
2007-03-15 16:18:06 · answer #8 · answered by Ade 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so guys do stay in relationship because of guilt?
2007-03-15 16:21:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋