i am married, i have a 2 year old...i work, i go to school and my life is pretty good, fast pace...normal, i would say...but i need major help with something that keeps flicking in the back of my mind. i can't control it, and i have to get over it so i can live my life comfortably. i keep thinking about the love that i had with my best guy friend before my husband and child were concerned...i constantly think about it and think about him and our relationship and everything we experienced and so on...and i want to get over it and i can't. what should i do? how do i let go of something in my past...?
2007-03-15 16:13:07 · 11 answers · asked by Butterfly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to do some serious soul-searching to find out what's at the root of these feelings. Obviously, there was a reason why the relationship with your ex dissolved, right? So why are these feelings resurfacing now? Are things a bit stressful at home? Do you have too much on your plate? It sounds like you're a busy lady with a toddler & hubby...and that can be overwhelming. Perhaps this is a conversation you need to have with your husband.
Sometimes, when a mom/wife is overwhelmed, the natural reaction is to resort to a "fantasy" of what might have been...it's a means of escaping the hectic everyday life they currently lead.
For the sake of your family, talk to your husband about how you're feeling.... Or take it one step further & seek out some counselling - either one-on-one or marital counselling.
2007-03-15 16:24:13 · answer #1 · answered by MammaBravo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first most people have had that one person in their life that something didn't work out and they have moved on - but they can't stop thinking about them. I suppose you can ask your self- why didn't you and your best friend become more? Did you not work out as a couple? Decide to stay only friends?
I think the saying is always true that the grass is not always greeener on the other side- but I would suggest instead of constantly wondering and being so caught up in thinking about a past friend- why not think about the good things in your relationship with your friend-count those as good memories- Yet at the same time build more good memories and time with your husband and child.
To sum it up- I wouldn't say letting go of your past would be the right thing- just remember the good times/ and be proud of those things- but don't let it stand in the way of making your dreams come true with your husband and child!!*smile*
Hope this helps!
2007-03-15 16:25:04 · answer #2 · answered by butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce your man & marry your friend. I have yet to be proven wrong that friends make better lovers. After all you have to share similar qualities as friends as you do lovers like trust, caring, loyalty, acceptance, etc etc. Obviously not all friends make great lovers but how many times have you met a great lover that after a year when you do have a great male friend that when things start to get routine in the love affair you start thinking back to the male friend especially when the lover starts to neglect some of the things he use to do when things were new & to get sex. Like listen or ask how your day was or support your dreams even if they seemed far out of reach & yet the friend did those things in most cases without getting sex so again plus if you have a great guy friend you have known for say 5 years & he's still for the most part the same as that first year that's 5 years of unofficial dating while anyone has to start all over & when sex comes into again things start to change often. If a guy has been there for you for like 5 years especailly with out sex then when you do have sex the feeling of being cared for & all that is that much more believable because again he did those things long before getting sex while again any new guy isn't likely to wait 5 years for sex. Most maybe a month if that but a guy who never even pushed it for months if not even years & yet still there for you & same as he always was & still taking up your mind when your down or unhappy & all without sex.
2007-03-15 16:36:04 · answer #3 · answered by bpeter3196 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past. If the realtionship was over, well, is because something went wrong. We women are romantic, and sometimes, if we cannot find the romance we have always dream about with our husbands, so we start fantasazing about ex-boyfriends, or in your case, best friend, giving them extra powers they never had. Everything is in our minds.
I know...What if... and there our imagination goes...
You are lucky, you are married, you have a child... Give the best of yourself and try to saty focused by falling in love with your life. It dance lessons, join a book club...i do not know...something you feel passionate about it. That will make you stay focused.
Good luck
2007-03-15 16:26:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a reason why you guys end that relationship. Think about all the good things you have at home, give your relationship more time, try not to be alone so you do not thing about him, do something (sport, take a class, yoga, etc.) only you and your husband.
The past is gone, the future might be ahead but the present is now and it is all you got, embrace it.
Good luck!
2007-03-15 16:24:23 · answer #5 · answered by chilanga26lasvegas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop it. don't be that way. You are doing this because you are not appreciating your husband,,,and your child. Those are just delusions. Think of all the sweet things your husband's done for you and the happiness you share with him and your kid. If both disappeared from your life, would you be happy with your best guy friend? Would you and your guy friend EVEN get together??!? I dont think so! Stop with the delusions and cherish what you have now. It's going to hurt like a knife if you can't seperate delusions from reality.
2007-03-15 16:21:22 · answer #6 · answered by C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why should you get over it ? come on..... that what sweet memories are for!!!
it's something to make you smile when you remember those time. but don't get too carried away.....
you have your life now, you're happy with your hubby and your baby......just go with the flow, enjoy the present and past in the same time.
please think about this : you walk and hold your husband hand, in the same time you think about your past, this will make you smile....and look at your hubby now, he's what you got now....this is the man who makes your life pretty good.
be thankful of that.
Just dont get too carried away. That's the key.....
2007-03-15 19:09:14 · answer #7 · answered by nien 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the answer is simple, but it's not what I'll want to hear.....
u probably still have feelings for him. in most situations i would just say "go for it. u still love him, maybe he still loves you too!". but this time it's different. if a kid is involved it's not all OK. if u truly love your husband try ignoring it more. if you're not sure, then maybe u need to talk to that guy again. i mean, it's one thing if u stay with your husband because you love him. it's another when it's because of your kid.
good luck!
2007-03-15 16:22:03 · answer #8 · answered by adari94 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely the lady i'm seeing now might want to be about 5'4, one hundred twenty-one hundred thirty lbs, and her measurements are 34-26-36. that's magnificent for me. i'm a skinny dude being 5'11 and weighing in undemanding words about one hundred sixty lbs, so see you later because the lady would not weigh more beneficial than me i'm superb with it. yet even then i visit make exceptions if she includes the burden nicely.
2016-12-02 02:00:29 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By focusing on today, what you have now, pray and ask God to give you a deeper love toward your husband, prayer opens the door for God to work in our lives......Jesus loves you
2007-03-15 16:19:59 · answer #10 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋