My Best Friend recently went to the Dr. and she was told that her baby has a hole in his heart, his brain is deformed and not growing, his spinal cord is not attached to his brain, and she has cysts all over her placenta. The Dr. told her she has no choice but to terminate, it would kill her to carry for 9 months and there was no chance the baby would survive.
She is only 20 years old and wasn't ready for this baby anyway, but she is 5 months along and now that she finally has come to terms with the fact she is pregnant, she has to terminate.
I want to be there for her, but I don't really have any words of wisdom or comfort to give to her. Is there anyone out there that has gone through something similar that can help me?
She means the world to me, and I can't stand to see her hurting.
2007-03-15 15:27:03 · 7 answers · asked by foolscompany 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
http://www.miscarriagesupport.org.nz/helping.html
this site has the do and donts to talk to a friend. It is to long for here but this is the site i think that will help you the most.
It even gives you things to talk about.
Your a good friend. I am sorry for your loss as well. i know you love her and would be like a Aunt.
2007-03-15 15:57:27 · answer #1 · answered by charontheloose 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's really nothing that you can do, or say that will make her feel better. She is going to feel horrible no matter what.
Even if you're really not ready to have a baby, i found that once you know you, and you see and feel this little bundle of joy growing inside of you, nothing else matters. You are going to love the baby no matter what (I had my son at 16)
If I was you, I would try to say as little as possible really. She's going through enough, and probably just needs someone to listen to her, and share her feelings.
I have has a few miscarages, and i know how horrible they were, let alone having to termanate.
A friend of mine went through the same sort of thing just under a year back. There was serious problems in the pregnancy, and it looked like the baby wasnt going to survive even if it went full term, or that it could end up killing her.
She has the termanation, and still crys about it all the time (she's 30 weeks preg now).
I wouldnt imagine it would be something you would ever totally get over, but time will help
Atleast she found out about the diformaties now, rather than going full term, and giving birth to a baby that would never survive.
I'm sorry to hear about her loss.
2007-03-15 15:40:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I would like to say that it saddens me to hear this and I hope your friend is doing as well as can be expected.
Just being there for her is enough....this is a difficult situation, but for her health this is the only decision she has. She would probably never carry full term and if she did that child would never have a normal life. I wish you and your friend well. And also if she has a really hard time you might suggest that she talks to a professional just to get things out :(
2007-03-15 15:35:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anita G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be by her side the hole time tell her it was just not ment to be thats what i got told when i had a miscarage witch was true because i broke up with the father 2 weeks later i know it hurts her but ask her would she want to bring a baby into the world with the problems it will be very hard on the baby and on herself to have to watch her baby go through the pain just be there for her the hole time good luck with it all
2007-03-15 15:34:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg!!! i think the only thing to do is just to give her all the support in the world. give her a hug and just tell her that everything is going to be alright and that god is with her and the unborn child. i am so sorry and...gosh this is hard. i feel so sorry for her and i wish there was something i could do to help. tell her i will think of her tonight and i hope everything works out.
2007-03-15 15:39:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont have an answer for you but i just want to give you my regards and hope that everything works out for yur friend and you.xxxxxxoooooo
2007-03-15 15:33:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be there for her. That's all you can do. She will need a friend more than she will need words of wisdom. Just some one's shoulder to cry on.
2007-03-15 15:36:12 · answer #7 · answered by Medic Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋