My brother's girlfriend just miscarried. What do I say?

Question

I just found out about a week ago that my brother's girlfriend (dating about 1 1/2 years now and live in apartment together across town) was pregnant... I don't really talk to either of them... In fact, I had to hear it from an ex-boyfriend (him and my brother were best friends in high school, we still see eachother once in a while).
Anyways, I came home from work the other night and found out she started bleeding and was rushed to the hospital and finally has miscarried the baby. She was only about 7 weeks or so along. Once again, I had to hear it from somebody else.

What do I say to her, better yet, my brother? We aren't that close, but I still feel so bad for them...They were so excited about it once they realized it was really happening. And now, it just disappeared...

I can't just pretend like nothing happened right? that could have been my neice or nephew, you know?

What should I say or do?

Answer 1

If you are sorry they lost the baby than tell them. I learned a hard lesson one time when my father N Law passed away. My wife and I grieved but she kept wanting to talk about her dad and I didn't want to because I thought it would hurt her more. I had the Idea that if he wasn't mentioned she would except it better.......boy was I wrong! I found out when my father passed away I wanted to talk about him because it made me feel better. So if someone wants to talk than have that conversation with them. You will be helping instead of hurting them.

Answer 2

Since you don't talk to them/they don't talk to you, maybe a brief handwritten card that says something like:

Hello,
I have heard the bad news and just wanted to send my sincere thoughts and best wishes to you both.
If you ever need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, I'm here.
Love and best wishes,

Short and simple to just touch base with them.

Answer 3

why were u not talking to them and very close at the first place? i think u should just leave it, coz if u really were not in good terms, they might get irritated at this time of emotional upset. however, if u are the one who created space, then they might be happy for your kind gesture, incase they dont have anyone close. also, get to see if you have right facts.

Answer 4

You can say that you're sorry to hear about her/their loss, and if you can do anything to help or if either just wants to talk, to let you know.

We went through that, and it's not enjoyable. All I can say is that I'm glad other people were there to help.

Answer 5

you just say something to the effect of, "God didn't want you to have an un perfect child, there had to have been something wrong with that one and that's the reason you didn't carry it to full term". Because in all acuality, there probably was something wrong with the baby and that's why she did miscarry.

Answer 6

just dont really say anything much. Go up to her and hug her and hold her for a while. pray with her (or both of them) if you want and just tell them that you are sorry and that anything they need you will help. it seems so over rated but its a good thing to do.

Answer 7

sometimes it is good to say nothing. but if you really want to say something a simple phone call saying hi and that you are sorry and offer help if they need anything can do wonders too. i deepest regards to your brother and his girlfriend.

Answer 8

thats happened to me twice and i felt really bad both times and and i just said im sorry that happened theres not much more you can do

Answer 9

either let it be! or if you feel like you have to say something..mention it to your brother instead of her! and just tell him that your sorry what happened! and that you wish them the best!! keep it short and simple!

Answer 10

my mother miscarried a baby. (first child). She was sad but moved along. Dont say anything about the baby. it will remind her about it which will cuase more pain. she'll get over it.