I feel uncomfotable how my friend talks to her husband.?

Question

She is treats him like a child and organises every moment of his life. He had a nervous breakdown late last year and she is wanting all the attention focused on her.. as though she is the victim. I really feel for him. My husband and I try to support both them however we can but she is a b**** and everyone else can see it except her.
She asks what I think of the situation and I lie to her face.
Times that I have said what I thought have led us to argue.
Her family runs her house, marriage, life!
She has worn her hubby out (so to speak) and is starting to wear us out. I dont want to answer my phone etc incase its her whinging about her hubby.
Should I just say dont involve us?
Should I walk away?
Should I keep up the lying support?
Should be 100% truthful and say exactly what Ill feel?

Youre all making such valid points.
There is not physical abuse in their marriage but emotional abuse can be just as harsh hey?..
I do feel for her husband as yes. she has made him weak and she knows he will do what ever she requests.
I guess Im not used to putting demands on my partner and I dont fully understand how someone takes it upon themself to control another person. Having said that, I dont understand how one can let themselves be controlled.
We are such close friends but I think this may be the expiration of the friendship.
I hate people arguing etc.
Thanks for the answers guys.

Answer 1

tell her you can no more give her advise about her marital problems than you would expect from her were you as screwed up as she is. ultimately, her husband is the weak one here, and by fighting his battles, you won't make him any stronger. you will only make him weaker. he may even be beyond repair, people get that way from years of abuse. start putting her husband down and see if she comes to his defense, if she does, then you have an excuse not to help. she won't listen to reason. if it were me, i would ditch them and find better friends, obviously your needs aren't getting met in this friendship.

Answer 2

touchy situation.
first off, never lie. no matter what. shes playing the whoa is me game. your feeding into it. while i can understand your wanting to help him, you also have to deal with her. you can only be as involved as you want to. i dont know how close you are with them, but if you feel like this, you need to back away. if there is an abusive issue with the way she treats him the police should be notified. so i would say be 100% truthful about the whole situation. once she gets over her anger, she will call. if not, then youll be better off.

Answer 3

Oh this sucks, but I can't think of anything that'd work better.

You (and your man) need to be in front of both of them and just tell them the truth. Tell her that her narcisism is killing her marriage and it's ruining her friendship with you. And that if she gets professional help, only then will you be supportive of her endeavors.

Her husband CHOOSES to take her abuse. YOU CAN'T CONTROL THAT. It's between them so don't involve yourself there.

Just say a prayer for them all. In God all things happen for a reason.

Answer 4

You should be 100% truthful and walk away, if the husband is too scared of getting out from that situation though luck for him, he probably loves it. Just don't worry about them I can see you want to help the husband but he has to help himself first before receiving your help. Good luck!

Answer 5

For the husbans sake:

Should be 100% truthful and say exactly what Ill feel?

Answer 6

I would make myself less available for friendly chit-chats.

Eventually she will get the idea. In the mean time, just keep your caller I.D. handy.

Answer 7

you should really tell the truth if she doesn't continue to be your friend her husband probably will

Answer 8

it might be disturbing but its not your buisness.that is her husband and if he dosent say anything then wuy should you?