Last december I allowed my sister and her son back into my life after a long estrangement. She needed a place to stay so me and my bf said for her to come stay with us. And he wanted to have a son because he dosent get to see his son all the time so he adopted my sister's son as his. Well after a week or so he slept with her but i was unaware. He would take her with him to work and on working day trips. Well as you would have guessed it i was hurt when i founded out she was pregnant because me and my bf had been wanting children. i felt betrayed when she said the child was supposely my bf. how am i supposed to feel towards them? I still love my bf deeply and we have a 3 mpnth old son. but i dont trust him or my sister when they are together. im in pain and need some advice please help
2007-03-15 13:58:44 · 13 answers · asked by TNT9478 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am so sorry for the hurt they have caused you. What does he mean he doesn't think he cheated on you? He slept with your sister. She is your flesh and blood family. Disgusting. They are both trash and not worth it. I know you love this guy and want the whole mommy, daddy, baby makes family dream but this is not it. Trust me. I have two babies with a guy who cheated on me a few months after we had our 1st child. I forgave him and he dumped when I was pregnant with our 2nd child and has been flaunting other women in my face ever since. Nasty people like this don't deserve our love and we as good women need to find a man that will treat us the way we deserve to be treated.
If you truly want to be happy, then you should walk away from this guy and get child support from the jerk. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
2007-03-15 14:11:02 · answer #1 · answered by LuvMyGirls 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really unhealthy relationship all around. You need to understand that your sister is blood and will always be your sister, where the b/f on the other hand is an a--h--- for totally disrespecting you for what he did. Both of you would be better off without him in your lives, but by there being kids involved you do have to be associated with him now and then. That's as far as it should go, now & then in order for you to find your happiness with someone who respects you more. Tell your sister how you feel about the situation and go on with your life for you & your child's happiness.
2007-03-15 19:58:19 · answer #2 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so very sorry you had to go through this. I know someone who went through this same situation.
The girlfriend was never able to get past the betrayal of her boyfriend and sister. Eventually after going through hell emotionally she dumped the boyfriend and faced being a single mother. Because the relationship with the sister was rocky to begin with it went through true turmoil. Although eventually she was able to have a strained relationship with the sister it was never forgotten.
You need time away from both of them now to heal. You are never going to be able to trust them together again. Even if you can forgive, you will never forget.
You should try seeing a counsellor to help deal with the pain you are going through. This was something you never expected from either of them and will make you wary to trust them and maybe others for a while. I wish you and your child the best.
Although being a single parent is very hard, it may be better than being cheated on. Good luck.
2007-03-15 14:30:42 · answer #3 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your sister to find a place of her own and tell her to make it quick. Talk to your boyfriend and see if there is anything to salvage between the two of you. If he doesnt want to continue on get a lawyer and make sure that he pays child support. You really cant trust a guy that fools around in your own home. As long as your sister is there he will think he can get away with it If it was me I would get rid of the bum
2007-03-15 14:08:08 · answer #4 · answered by itybittykitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loved you he never would have slept with your sister, first thing. If he loved you he would have never slept with anyone else but you. Child or no child, leave him. My husband slept with another woman and has a child with another and it is something that can never be repaired. Accept him as the father of your child but not the love of your life. Your sister is the one you should be most angry with, she is YOUR SISTER!!!!!! She should have never did what she did. Kick her out, kick him out, learn to love yourself alone and then find some great girlfriends (just friends) and your life will feel full.
2007-03-15 14:39:55 · answer #5 · answered by gouda1988 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bf cheated and disrespected you and your
sister disrespected you, you need to make the
decision as to what you want to do about it, Your
bf showed he did not care about you or your feel-
ings so do you want a husband such as him. Yes
you can forgive but can he stop with others. Think
about it as it seemed from what you said he enjoy-
ed it as he even took your sister to work with him.
If you want to be happy in life you need a man
that is honest and sincere for you and only for you
so now you need to decide for the better of your
future and your child's future.
2007-03-15 15:24:57 · answer #6 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sure did cheat on u, and in the worst way, with someone very close to u. why are they still together, why is she still around him? to get past the pain he would have to give her up for good. personally i would feel anger towards both of them. if your sister is still,living in your home, i would ask her to find different living arrangements. i would find it very hard to feel comfortable in a relationship where from one day to the next i did not know who he might be sleeping with. he certainly doesn't make u feel trust towards him.
2007-03-15 14:38:30 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a messed up and bad place to be in ...how are you going to explain to your son that his cousin is also his brother/sister ? ( she got pregnant too right?) your sister has no respect or love for you or she would not have done that ..y would she want to be with someone who has be intimate with her loved one..and as for him if he did it once he will do it again and not only with your sister with other women..get yourself checked out to be on the safe side ..they both betrayed you and u will never completely trust either of them again and if theres no trust theres NO relationship..i hope everything works out for you thats a messed up spot to be in sorry
2007-03-15 16:44:22 · answer #8 · answered by touchmeforever2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's quite obvious that both your boyfriend and sister don't have very much respect for you or your feelings. If it were me I would be getting out of there so fast and leave them to it. They deserve each other, and yes he did cheat on you, they both did.
2007-03-15 14:35:07 · answer #9 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he slept with your sister and got her pregnant, then he cheated on you -- that's why people should not live together before getting married. Kick him out and file!
2007-03-15 14:04:33 · answer #10 · answered by NJGuy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋