How do I deal with my 18yr old who is a senior in high school?

Question

She just turned 18 last month. She graduates in May. She is extremely disrespectful, rude, lazy, refuses to help around the house including picking up after herself, has an attitude that everyone owes her and refuses to do anything we ask. She gets out of school at 2:15, runs around with friends all night or just goes to bed. She was raised to be respectful but is completely rebellious. Would you kick her out?

Answer 1

No, don't kick her out. Sit her down and let her know that she still lives in your house and will do her share of house work, and follow your rules until she graduates and is living on her own and supporting herself. If she doesn't agree, take away the "toys" you have bought her. A car, computer, video games, tv, and cell phone are priviledges that are earned-not rights. Each time she shows disrespect, remove another priviledge until she decides to behave as an adult instead of a child.

Answer 2

I think that you are just facing what most parents face. "The Terrible Eighteen's." (I just graduated 2 years ago...so I'll give you a point of view from a teenager's side.) She's ready to be an adult, but too young to act like one, and really doesn't know what being an adult entails. Hopefully this summer, she'll go out, have her fun being "free" and then she'll realize that there's nothing really to do when you stay out so late every night.

If it gives you any hope, I was exactly the girl you just described. I was so rude, and moody, and I didn't help around the house, I felt my parents "owed me", I stayed out late partying and hanging out with my friends. Then, that summer after graduation, I got engaged to my then boyfriend, we got married in December, and I'm perfectly fine. 9:00 is bedtime, I pay my own bills, I'm respectful. I've been married for a year (and 2 months!) now and I'm have a perfectly normal life. Nothing like the horrible teenager I was.

Answer 3

DO NOT KICK HER OUT...you just have to be patient. If you yell at her, she'll just yell back...talk to her like you want to be talked to. Where's she getting the money to run around? Maybe that needs to be earned. If she's coming in late, ask her nicely to come in early and when she does start doing what you ask, it's very important that you thank her, casually in a respectful way and it's important that you speak to her like an adult, keep telling her you want to be respected.
You may also ask her to help you with other stuff. Something important, to make her feel that you respect her. She may start responding back to you the same way. Don't give up and remember to take time for yourself.

Answer 4

No, I wouldn't kick her out but I would definitely restrict her privileges in my home and sit her down with her father and have a big talk. She is pushing her boundaries big time. You need to make it clear that even though she is 18 and legally considered an adult that she must respect you and your wishes in your home or she needs to get a job and move out. Don't kick her out but tell her it is your way or she's welcome to be a grown-up and move out on her own if she thinks she's such an adult.

Tell her she needs to get a job. She has MUCh too much time on her hands! Start charging her for car insurance, etc. And make her feel what it's like to be a grown up.

I feel for you. This can't be an easy situation to deal with.

Answer 5

If she's not going to college or a trade school, then yes kick her out. Give her a specific and limited period of time to get a job, save some money, find a roommate, and GO.

If she's going to work or school, but decides she wants to continue lving at home, then charge her rent--and make sure you charge the hell out of her for being her personal maid.

Answer 6

Sounds like me back in 1974. My parents (Mom especially ) busted my butt like I was 13 yrs old and right in front of my friends. What a humbling situation .I can say ,that with the "friends I took up with " left out of my life and between some going to jail and some dying and two getting killed for attempted robbery shooting it out with the police. It was the best butt whippin" I got

Answer 7

i would pretend to kick her out, you should let her know that you let her stay there because you love her and you aren't going to take her disrespectfulness and rudeness and laziness. Let her know that you DONT have to let her stay there. Once she realizes she is on her own and has taken everything for granted, she'll change. Keep pretending if she acts like that again. Believe me I am 18 and I have learned responsibilty and respectfulness by moving out. But it was my choice to move out because my mom was rude and disrespectful and treated me like i was still a kid. I just got tired of it and moved.

Answer 8

teach her more about the facts of life...... out side of home. she doesn't want to do her part in the house hold the this will be the inhouse tough love facts of life. show her how the real world will treat her if she had her own. Pay For Your Stay..... or mom you can sit down and talk to your daughter and find out what is going on in her life that have her so angry at the people who'going to be there for her when all else fails

Answer 9

I think there's something very normal in your daughter's behaviour. They go through that stage and the more you fight the more they rebel against you. I don't think you should kick her out but maybe a lot more patience (easy to say I know) ground rules and reverse psychology.

Answer 10

I am 21 not long ago i was 18 and when you are 18 you feel liberty! you think you own the world! and you eventually get over it! do you remember when you were 18? you wanted to do everything because you didn't need your parents permission for nothing! you eventually get over it, its just something new trust me!