My brother recently came out to our Southern Baptist parents...?

Question

Last weekend my brother told my parents he was gay. None of us really understand it (but I personally think unless you are gay you wouldn't understand it) I told him I would love him and accept him regardless, of his lifestyle. My parents on the other hand are having a hard time w/ it! He insists it's not a decision, but they don't understand that, since in the Bible it does say that a man and a man together is an abomination. My mother is tearing herself apart trying to find a solution to it all! I know prayer is the best solution, but what a/b earthly answers? What is the best way to go a/b this!?

Answer 1

Since your parents are Southern Baptist, you may find this of interest.

The president of Louisville's Southern Baptist Theological Seminary recently said that scientific research "points to some level of biological causation" for homosexuality in his blog and in a following newspaper interview said "I am absolutely confident that a large number of homosexuals are telling the truth when they say they did not choose that orientation."

It shows the quality of your character to tell your brother that you love him and accept him regardless of who he may love.

Answer 2

Your parents can look all they won't but maybe until science catches up this isn't exactly something you can explain.

Your brother is gay. He fantasizes about other men. I bet he thinks about how it would be to settle down with another guy and buy a house in the suburbs. $20 says he'd like to grow old with that man.

Life is life, even if you don't understand it, you have to accept it.

I'm sure that if your brother went through any of the grief I did growing up gay in a Southern Baptist Church he's 1000% sure this is really the way he feels. Otherwise he wouldn't have mentioned it. This is just one of those things you have to get out of you, like a secret that eats at your soul and controls your whole life.

Answer 3

Being gay isn’t a choice and no amount of praying will turn him straight. I know because I’m gay and I spent my teenage years praying that I’d be the same as all my friends. Eventually my feelings didn’t go away and I had to accept that I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Do you really think your brother would put himself though all that crap by choice (no way).

Jesus didn’t say a word about gays and the bible was written by men (not God). The bible says anything you want it to say. A man can go with a prostitute or have slaves as his property. Homosexuality is an abomination, but so are tons of other things that even your parents do (read up on all that stuff and you’ll see what I mean).

Christians won’t accept that homosexuality isn’t a choice and they don’t accept that any gay could be born into their own family.

I don’t mean to frighten you, but I should point out that there’s a very high suicide rate amounts young gay men. You’ve got to try and stop your parents from turning nasty to him. He can’t change and if they force him to do something that he can’t do, he might end up killing himself.

It’s a sad thing in life, but until it happens to “one of your own”, people will never understand. The Christians on this site think we’re all liars and we could change if we wanted. They see us as some kind of pervert (like a child molester or rapist). They don’t seem to realise that we’re just normal people with brothers, sisters, parents etc. I think I was made this way for a reason. I believe that we’re all here to learn lessons and this is part of my learning experience. I also believe that your parents had a “gay son” for a reason. I could talk to them explaining things for the next 40 years, but they wouldn’t listen to me. The only way they’ll change their views is if they hear it from their own son. Everything in life happens for a reason and it took me years to learn that lesson. I know that’s not the answer you wanted to hear, but as God is my judge it’s the truth.

Answer 4

Part of your parents' frustration will be that they might question where they went wrong when they raised your brother. They may feel a sense of shame or guilt, and they will not want other people to know what has happened. But the best thing is for them to simply accept things as they are, even if they don't agree with the announcement. It has been very hard on your brother to have to deny himself, but one cannot continue with people-pleasing forever. The best thing is for everybody to try to love each other, despite differences. Of course, the parents might take the route that their son is demon possessed (I have heard of Pentecostals who said that when they found their children were gay), or they might feel to be heavy-handed (threaten to cut him out of the will, etc.), but anger will only cause alienation.

Time will help, and people just have to take things a day at a time. It will help if they can somehow see that this is the way your brother is, and that he is not rebelling against God or against them. It has nothing to do with the parents; they did not fail in how they raised him, and there is nothing wrong with him genetically. His being gay is the same as if he is left-handed or has brown eyes, and the sooner they can accept this, then the better things will be -- for everybody. Good luck to all of you.

Answer 5

One thing could be mention is that as far as the Bible goes, it could have many different meanings depending how you look at it, including the Bible not speaking against homosexuality at all. Maybe get some information from gay Christian sites. If that doesn't work, you could mention why according to them, why that one sin should be worth such a fuss when they themselves are liking sinning in other ways everyday.

Another thing you could do is put up a lot of information about how people don't choose to desire the same sex and about the harm LGBT people suffered from homophobia. Then with all that, maybe they could wonder if they want to put their own son through that.

Answer 6

Sounds like they just need time. tell your brother he should ease off for a lil while. Just act like everything is normal and maybe eventually they'll see he's the same kid they've always known.

I'm a southern baptist too and my dad's the minister of my church. He's said if he ever found out a family member of his was a "homosexual deviant", he'd personally see to a town-wide lynching. Your brother's really brave and all things considered, I think your parents are really handling it kind of well. I think most parents would put themselves thru some real emotional torture for a lil while til they got used to the idea.

Answer 7

I think you have answered this question yourself. Just by loving your brother you are supporting him. Maybe in turn your parents will come to accept your brother's sexuality and realise he is still their son. I am gay myself and found it very difficult to to tell my Mum. In fact, she got drunk and steered the conversation towards homosexuality and I just blurted it out. Best thing I ever did cos we get on much better now that I've nothing to hide from her! Hope all goes well!

Answer 8

the two faiths finally have self assurance in the comparable issues. they are the two Christian. the two faiths nicely known salvation with the aid of Christ's crucifixion, the two faiths have self assurance in an all-powerful god. Now the two disagree on the extra superficial factors of religion. maximum critically, baptists take the Bible because of the fact the literal and unquestionable observe of God. They study it therefor, it extremely is actual. Catholics study the Bible as many times a metaphor, some thing that desires to be interpreted. to no longer distinctive from fixing a riddle. This distinction in interpretation finally ends up in lots of diffused variations. Transubstantiation, by St. Thomas Aquinas' reason, is a mix of theological interpretation and Aristotelian good judgment. Baptists reject transubstantiation, because of the fact it is no longer, observe for observe, in the Bible. this concept is a trend between the two faiths and on their disagreements. additionally worth of no longer, to boot he endless fairly diffused variations, their is a great distinction between religious tone amoung the two faiths. As i'm particular you are able to tell in basic terms from the responces, Catholics look much less confrontational, mutually as the Baptists look extra agressive. This stands to reason that a faith it is predicated of absolutes would be somewhat extra fanatical and much less accepting of variations. mutually as maximum of Catholicism somewhat recognizes the smaller Protesant denominations. in fact, maximum Europeans have in no way heard of a fashionable Baptist. So thats extremely the conflict in a simplistic nut shell. i might additionally prefer to be conscious that the Catholic Church has an particularly valuable relationship with Anglicans, Lutherans, and the jap Orthodox faiths. exciting to be conscious, none of those faiths take the Bible actually eather. those sort of faiths have their disagreements, even in spite of the shown fact that it extremely is frequently extra theological and much less fanatical, in the fashionable era besides. As a Catholic, I could say that no faith is thoroughly precise or thoroughly incorrect. and that i think of it extremely is immportant and morally precise to appreciate the Baptist faith, look at their ideals and honor its finer factors mutually as rejecting is worse features. i extremely want all faiths ought to respectfully disagree, yet they cant.

Answer 9

Ask her is she has ever let your dad sleep in the same bed with her when she was on her period. If she says yes, then offer to stone her to death- as it says this in Leviticus too. I wish I could be more sympathetic to your folks, but these people cheese me off focusing so exclusively on one or two lines from the crazy part of the bible, and ignoring ALL the other things. (you know.... the ones that might apply to THEM). HOW much energy gets spent worry about those two lines from Leviticus???? How about the rest of it??? Self righteous jerks who are "part of the problem". I hope your brother is ok. Encourage him to move to a coast. And I hope you are ok, too-- sorry for my venom, but I am sick to death of young LGBT people being hurt by this kind of thing.

Answer 10

There isn't a solution, people are who they are. I was raised Baptist, and frankly it doesn't serve anyone well. It only serves to separate people and dissuade them from a good education. You sound like a much better person than your parents, that's for certain.