When I am with you
I feel like I am on top of the world
looking down.
I see the village and nothing else.
I hear nothing but silence.
I am happy!
When I am with you.
When I am with you
I feel as if life is worth living
Every breath I take is worth breathing
I am more alive.
When I am with you
When I am with you
All my problems seem to dissappear
my anger is no more
the sadness that i feel disintigrated into dust
we blow it away
I am free, free to be me
When I am with you.
When I am with you
colors seem brighter
the sun feels warmer.
the air fresher.
I am at one with nature and myself.
When i am with you.
When I am with you.
I have butterflys in my stomach.
I can think of nothing but you.
I am in love.
When I am with you.
When I am without you.
tears come to my eyes.
I long for your touch and the sound of you voice.
I am sad and alone.
When I am without you.
2007-03-15 13:29:28 · 28 answers · asked by tiffers 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
if you truly liked my poem i have more that i dont mind you reading. http://funrusfun.spaces.live.com/
go for it
2007-03-15 13:40:16 · update #1
I like the bit about the 'sun warmer, the air fresher'
i nearly felt those feeings when i read it, i wish someone felt like taht about me,
......... . . now im jealous.
2007-03-15 13:33:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I like it except for the "When I am without you part", that really brings the whole thing down. Other than that, I would definitely recommend giving it to him!
One caution: The part about how the world seems brighter, and then the last part about when you're without him, makes me think you two may have an energy addiction to each other. This is a very common feeling when someone first falls in love, but can cause problems later on.
What I'm talking about is in the Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. I would recommend you read it.
2007-03-15 13:39:05 · answer #2 · answered by Nadine - Unity CEO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are in LOVE.
Unless you have been together a long time I worry it might scare him off.....
As a poem it conveys that you are always thinking of him: a sign of love,
As a poem I might be tempted to lose the last 7 lines.
Stating " I am in love" is redundant, as we already know that.
though on reflection it follows the sentiments of W.S.'s sonnets, to reflect on the love then the misery of not being together.
Does your guy like this kind of intense stuff, or will it freak him out?
I would have been very happy to have been given this poem.
M : )
2007-03-15 13:40:14 · answer #3 · answered by mesmerized 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is the type of guy that is into poems then yeah he will appreciate it heaps!
however most guys dont really appreciate poetry so in that case cook him a good meal, get him a beer and take him ot the bedroom! ;)
2007-03-15 13:33:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice poem,lucky man,and a beautiful woman,what more does a man need.
2007-03-15 13:35:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW~ i can tell that you put alot of thought into it..and your man will too....You have a gift when it comes to this..I wish i did i would help in my english class:) Have a good night.
2007-03-15 13:33:38 · answer #6 · answered by little miss sunshine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its cute! The "when im with you part"
reminds me of a song by Jessica Simpson!
2007-03-15 13:32:53 · answer #7 · answered by woooah 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i would take out the ending where it switches to without, makes it sound like theres more to come but BOOM its the end. find a different conclusion.
otherwise its good ^_^
2007-03-15 13:33:53 · answer #8 · answered by dontgivashit_666 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't give this to him. I love it but guys can some times be asse$. He might think that your to clingy. Good Luck
2007-03-15 13:33:51 · answer #9 · answered by beyondthelimit 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I LIKE I LIKE....GOOD JOB 5 OUT OF 5
2007-03-15 13:33:00 · answer #10 · answered by queenz_killarep 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋