Ok my husband and i have been married for while now.We have known eachother for 10 years.We stared dating when we were in 11th grade though.We were best freinds for the longest time before.But when we wernt dating i would always talk about this guy to him who i used to like alot.Well when we started dating he was always insecure about this other guy,who i used to like alot. Well a few months into our Relationship he bacame more Overprotective over me,and our relationship,and a little controlling.I was then in contact with the other guy because we were in the same school,and saw eachother alot.The other guys ended up dating my sister.Well when they broke up i went to him for advise,and wrote to him how we should of been together instead.Well i ended up going out with this other guys for 4 days Nothing happend,because i ended telling my bf(now husband).ever since then hes always accusing me of cheating.Is it what happend that makes him feel this way.or is he the one cheating.?
2007-03-15 13:28:34 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you were not married, living together, engaged or going steady at the time, then you were not cheating. If any of the above does apply then you were cheating. Your husband is feeling a little let down and is frightened that you might do it again.
2007-03-15 14:54:19 · answer #1 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you didn't do nothing why tell him. You shoudl have already known he was jealous as your suppose to call it. ANd especially if you spen four days with him and didn't do nothing guess that's why your sister dumped him because he was gay. Or not unless your lying about not doing nothing. Guess in a way I can understand the way your husband feels. BUT he shoudl know what's in the past is suppose to stay in the past. And tell him again and again and he will always feel you ahve cheatted on him. SO give up and if you can't take it just sit him down and explain to him either grow up or you walk. MAybe that shock will bring him out of it. But I doubt it, once the jealousy bug bites it's there always but good luck.
2007-03-15 20:41:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he is acting weird and you have suspicions probably, but you told him right? Anyways it was a long time ago, reasure him that you love him and that you don't want this other guy and if you really still have feelings for this other guy then hey you know maybe you and your husband aren't supposed to happen and apparently you keep going back this man so you need to ask yourself who you really want and make that decision. If you want to be with your husband then you need to make him feel that way cus it sounds like he is feeling a little insecure and then he could start cheating.
2007-03-15 21:48:33 · answer #3 · answered by lost 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have made him feel this way. Actions speak louder than words and you just will have to prove that he is the most important person to you...... dont talk about any other guy around him, and show him a lot of affection. Some guys just need re-assurance....but dont talk or argue about it... do it with actions... anyone can say words. Special dinners, baths, dress kinky for him, put notes in his lunch, call him at work and talk a little dirty to him so he is excited to come home to you..... all those things mean a lot to a guy. I have been married for 20 years and it still works for us when my husband feels insecure... I am around men all day... it can get to him sometimes.
2007-03-15 20:36:14 · answer #4 · answered by sushihen2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look you cannot blame him if he's like that, because you must remember these guys were your school mate many years ago. thats mean you could date them anytime you want even if you are not. that's what on he's mind right now. look if you want to keep that relationships you must stay away from those guys. you can be friend with anybody as long they are not your schoolmate. don't do anything stupid try to talk to any guys behind he's back, because if you continue your relationships will not last long, you maybe a straight person never cheat on your man but if you keep doing that talking with those guys. when your relationship ended everybody gonna hold you responsible for that. not because you cheat with anyone, but is because that's how it's ended. please girl keep your relationship because it's not easy to be with someone for that long.
2007-03-15 20:44:29 · answer #5 · answered by marcel m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My experience in a very similar situation shows that:
1) He is very insecure and worried that you are cheating.
2)Cheating himself which makes him feel even more worried that you are too.
You need to confront him, because if you aren't cheating it isn't fair for him to constantly be accusing you. Let him know how much he means to you, and how much it hurts you when he accuses you of cheating. Assure him that you aren't cheating and tell him that you don't want him to continue accusing you of cheating.
And of course it isn't fair to you if he IS cheating. You may need to look into the way he has been acting and see if anything seems suspicious.
Hopefully, he isn't cheating, and after you have a chat with him he won't accuse you of cheating anymore either.
2007-03-15 20:56:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is just insecure about your relationship and if you really love him and want to be with him and not the other guy. I don't get the idea, from what you have said, that he is cheating. Be honest with him about your feelings for him and your feelings for this other guy. Tell him he is the winner since you chose him to marry, not the other guy. Just reassure him of your feelings for him and in time his jealousy should get better, as long as you don't give him reason to distrust you
2007-03-15 20:35:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A very good predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Since you have already cheated on him in the past (according to your own admission) he knows what you are capable of doing. He obviously does not trust you. That being said, you were wrong for cheating on him and it is normal for him to suspect that you are still cheating.
Also, it really isn't a matter of who is "right" and who is "wrong"...instead of making this into some type of competition you two should get counseling to resolve your issues.
2007-03-15 20:42:57 · answer #8 · answered by SunnyBabe123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your his not the other guys . You should ask your old man for advice not your old fling . Why would you think your husbands cheating your the one that went out with somebody not him . looks like you and your sister like to keep it in the family . Your poor husband has got to be pulling his hair out trying to make you understand and now your blaming him for cheating. That poor guy!!
2007-03-15 20:46:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be both. Ask him if hes cheating. There are ways to know if people are lieing. And if you know him well enough to marry him you should be able to tell if hes lieing to you. You on the other hand should never talk to him about this guy again because obviously it bothers him. He doesnt want to hear it. Do you want him to tell you about this chick that he really likes??? I wouldnt want to hear it.
2007-03-15 20:33:12 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋