could it be really over ?

Question

after 9 years of marrage could you fall out of love or would the love still be there

Answer 1

i have been with my husband for 8 years, married for almost 5. i think that my love for him has changed. I love him with all my heart its just that my love is more as he is the father of my children and my friend, not my lover. i wouldnt divorce him because i dont hate him and we still have our intimate moments just not like it use to be.

Answer 2

i think it would be easy to fall out of love with someone no matter how long u were married, because people marry for all the wrong reasons, and they think when the honeymoon stage is over so is the marriage, because they seek excitement, and the feeling one gets when the relationship is new. the love may still be there, but would it be strong enough to keep a marriage happy? people think they are suppose to always feel love, but real love is a decision to stay with that person, in spite of what they circumstances are. takes alot of maturity and discipline to keep it going once the honeymoon stage ends.

Answer 3

Some people have divorced after 20 years. It just doesn't matter sometimes, the length of the marriage. Some people got married for all the wrong reasons, and knew from the beginning that it wouldn't work (me<----------------), so it just really depends. But "being in love" isn't all it's cracked up to be. You may be fantasizing "love" in your mind. This whole "I love him/her, but I am not 'in love' with them" is for the birds. Love changes over time. The fairytale fades, but that doesn't mean it's not real love. I believe you either love them or you don't. You don't "fall" in and out of love.

Answer 4

I think the love will always be there to a certain degree. But that love would be more out of attachment and familiarity than romantic love. Fear of loss can also be misconstrude as love. Much like an old couch that you no longer like but don't have the heart to get rid of. Just remember......you bought that couch for a reason! And when you can remember what that reason was, maybe you'll want it after all!

Answer 5

it can still be there but different. No relationship ever stays the same. Even a marriage. The only thing that make a couple intimate is sharing feelings. Once you start to hold things back from each other you start to build a wall between you. That doesn't mean ALWAYS talk, but you have to do it sometimes. And check yourself and really talk about how you feelm not something that really doesn't matter to you.

Answer 6

It's your choice to be in love with someone. You can either think negatively about this person and have ill feelings, or you can be positive and have great feelings towards your husband. The love is still there, you just haven't done anything about keeping the spark there. Take action now and start showing your husband some more affection and respect and see where that gets your relationship. I highly doubt that he'll ignore your efforts and it will become a lifelong "habit."

Answer 7

It depends. You will always love them. May not be in the same way, but you will always love them in some sort of way. If you find yourself "falling out of love" i suggest you take a vacation with your friends. Take a small break from your loved one or somthing. Then again, it could be different for everyone. Maybe you need more than just a vacation, maybe you need a romantic night.

Answer 8

After being married for long periods of time your love develops into a new kind of love. Your love in the begining was "puppy love" if you will.... where you made it a point to do romantic things and snuggle and have fun ... so on and so fourth. Well after being married for so long those things dont seem as enjoyable as they used to because they come to you naturally. You are used to doing things like that. Try new things with your husband be spontaneous!

Answer 9

No, I dont think you can fall out of love with someone easily...there has to be reasons why that happens...some reasons being your career goes in different directions. You may have issues about the raising of children that you dont see eye to eye with each other on. The daily pressures of life, paying bills, going out to work, raising children, all have an impact on love. I dont think you fall out of love instantly, but you can drift apart, and sometimes you think you have fallen out of love, but its only the realisation of falling out of love that hits you instantly....the actual falling out of love took years to happen. When two people marry, they both come from different backgrounds.....we try very hard to become "one", but realistically, it cant happen.....we can compromise, but we are two individuals who come together in the hope that we will be compatible. Sometimes, after years, when you really get to know the other person, you find that you dont have as many things in common as you once thought. When people settle into a marriage and become comfortable, they tend to take each other for granted and its then when you see the "real" person you married. If the stress and strain of everyday living has seen you go in different directions, then yes, you have fallen out of love, but it didnt just happen.

You can fall in love again, but usually it takes professional intervention. You can bring back the romance and the love, but only if both of you want it. That is the first step, the next is to find a counsellor who is qualified and experienced with marital problems.

Hope it works out

Answer 10

Yes, you could fall out of love and yes, the love is still there but you're not "in love" anymore. Make sure you're not just going through a phase, seek marital counseling before calling it quits unless there is an abuse issue. If abuse is an issue, leave NOW. God luck and God Bless.

Answer 11

Love can be a very strong thing, but romance tends to be fragile.
There are all kinds of magazine articles and books advising you how to bring back romance into your marriage.
Have you developed entirely separate interests? Sometimes, even with the best of intentions, people grow apart. Relationships can be a lot of work, especially when they challenge us to change. Good luck!