Married Women: Would you accept an offer from your husband to receive sensual massage from a male therapist?

Question

My husband and I have been married 10 years, together for 16. We are best friends, intimate lovers and true soulmates. Over the years, we found we truly enjoy the gift of massage. We have enjoyed couples massage but receive most massages seperate from each other. Over the last year, I have been fortunate to be getting my massages at home from a wonderful male therapist. I receive my massage nude and have come to the comfort level of no draping. My last massage visit had something different happen that took me by surprise. My therapist asked at the end of my massage if there as an area of my body that he had been leaving out that may need some attention. His hand position at that moment gave no doubt what "an area" meant. I told him I was unable to accept but thanked him for the offer. Later, I told my husband and he gave his approval to accept the offer next visit if I desired. This is no doubt out of his love for me! Would other wives feel this way and accept this "additional area"?

Just to clarify as it looks as if "the area" was in fact still questionable what that area is. I (we...my husband and I) believe a full body massage includes the buttocks and breasts, we have always agreed this and had no problems with it...its common in all other cultures except Western culture (America). My buttocks was included within the first couple sessions (under draping), my breasts maybe 5 or 6 sessions later (I receive massages 2-4 times a month). The draping was removed simply out of convenience and comfort once I indicated to the therapist it was OK. I have been receiving my massage now for approx. 1 year nude w/ no draping including my buttocks and breasts. So therefore "the area" is my anal and vaginal area. And for the record, my husband does also give me full body massage and includes these areas when he does. This is about allowing the therapist to do so also to bring our sessions to a higher level of release and satisfaction. Thanks everyone!

1 more thing: The question is about "would you accept the offer?" so therefore the your husband's have already said you can if you want. I am asking for married women to be honest in stating if they would accept if given the OK from their husband's to do so. So its not a question of "first of my husband would not allow this". Thanks!

how funny...I knew that answer was coming eventually. "This means your husband is enjoying this offer himself from his therapist". We are best friends, intimate lovers and true soulmates for a reason. We have been together for 16 years and married 10 for the same reason. Reason: Trust, Honesty, Respect and Communication (that includes those elements). I can stand up for my husband and say that "he is not receiving this service from his therapist" because if it had been offered he would have came to me with it just as I came to him. And for the record, "would I mind if he was receiving this service from his therapist". I don't truthfully know. If we get there, we will discuss it and I will decided then. Do I love and trust him enough to allow him this if he desired, yes I do! Does he love and respect me enough to accept if I said no, yes he does! Thanks everyone...

why when we read do you choose to to only understand part of what we have just read? Its called perception. Once we have already precieved the situation, we close out any further influence apart from the perception made. Point 1: We have been recieving massage for approx. half (8) of the years we've been married. Point 2: Have never had a massage in this time period that was not fully nude...no matter the therapist, male or female. We do not have any concern with our nudity in this practice or at all for that matter. Point 3: If we were getting divorced because of some form of jealousy, guilt, shame, conviction...we would have already done that. For approx. 8 years, we have both been naked in front of mutiple others with hands as close as you can get to a genital area without it being direct. Point 4: Appears most married women live with the spirit of adultry. In fear that if they or their spouse was put in a place of temptation, they could not resist. The enemy has you here...

Sorry! I put in Point 1 above "approx. half of the years we have been married". Should have said, half the years we have been together almost all the years we have been married. And, thank-you for the answers,,,its helps us to truly see that we have a sacred marriage bond much more as He created it to be than most others. A bond without jealousy, shame, guilt, fustration, dishonesty, mistrust, nonrespect, etc...all the emotions of the enemy. Instead we have a marriage of love, respect, honor, sacrifice, joy fulfilled...all the emotions of our Creator.

Answer 1

Ummm, no.
First off, my husband would never agree for me to be nude in front of another man let alone have one touching me there (or anywhere while I was naked).
Let your husband massage there for you.
On a side bar, it's nice to see you've been together so long...too many divorces...it's sad.

Answer 2

Good Grief People; how wound tight so many of you are, and how dare you say "it's wrong" when a husband and a wife are the ones to decide that!
It's obvious the lady is intrigued, and why not? There are millions of swingers in this country alone!
Let's lay it out; I am the husband of a beautiful, vibrant, and wonderful woman for the past 12 years. We are extremely close and best friends beyond description. The past year, she was approached the same way as the original poster describes above. When she came home, she asked me the same question: "What would I think if she accepted?"
Again, knowing her query really meant she wanted to accept, I appreciated greatly the fact that she came to me open and honest and asked what I thought! My response? "Honey, I'm only jealous of your heart, go have some fun just don't fall in love..."
So, for the past 8 months, she's had many intimate moments with the gentleman, who I contacted myself to make sure he knew that I was cool with what was about to occur and appreciated his professionalism about the entire thing also.
Has anyone seen the percentages of married men AND WOMEN who cheat? It's absurd to not think my wife has seen another handsome man and had a thought as to what it would be like... she's human! So, with all openess and honesty and no risk of losing her family and our lifelong commitment, she came to me and we discussed it. Our marriage and relationship is now, amazingly, tighter and happier than ever before.

And no, I've never cheated on her once or even been tempted to do so, so don't even try to go there...

Answer 3

I personally would not want a sensual massage or any other massage from anyone other than my husband. I feel that kind of touch between two people is meant to bring two people closer together. I guess if the two of you decided to go to a massage parlor and the both of you got a massage at the same time, that would be up to you.However it may mean more if the two of you set aside an evening and some massage oil and got a little one on one time.

Answer 4

First off, you should not be getting a massage undraped, especially if you are married. You or your husband might not see it, but the therapist massaging you there is forcing you to think of other men in a way that is harmful to your marriage. This is a place only meant for your husband, and it appears you have lost all sense of boundaries. This therapist is not professional to even offer what he did. It doesn't matter if your husband is OK with it, you need to see that this will ultimately damage your marriage.

Answer 5

Think ahead. The next step will be your husband either asking to watch, arranging to watch by setting it up with the massage therapist, with or without your knowledge. And possibly in the future, he would give you permission to be having sex with anyone you want if he can also do the same - it would be an 'open marriage'. Good luck to you - marriage ceases to mean anything when you're doing that; open marriages tend to crash and burn. Just remember, your soul mate will become just the guy who was and is your best friend but he is seeking something else from someone else. His message to you is - you can do the same. Think about what that means.

Answer 6

I would not accept this offer, I just wouldn't feel comfortable with another man giving me an orgasm - that is what you are asking right? My husband is my best friend, lover and soul mate but he is also the only on that I ever want to get sexual relation from.
Plus I would not want one thing to lead to another and something happening that I would later regret
But then again I am not you and you may not feel this way

Answer 7

First off receiving a massage from a man while your naked in your home is just wrong, your just asking for something like this to happen, unless you plan on getting divorced, cut out the home massage

Answer 8

I don't think your husband truly loves you if he lets another man tough parts of your body that only your husband should be touching. He could be saying alright cause he's been having affairs already and feels less guilty if he lets you do something similar. It's your life and your decission to make but I have been married for seven years and I wouldn't think of another man touching me anywhere other then a hand shake or a short friendly hug.

Answer 9

Although getting the consent from your husband it puts the relationship at risk. It is also a line that should not be crossed. A marriage is a relationship instituted by the creator and you body is the temple for the Spirit do not dis honor your relationship or you body by crossing the line.

Answer 10

Oh no. I wouldn't even feel right knowing my husband wants some other man to put his hands on me sensually. And it goes for him too. I would never volunteer some other womans services for my husband. Whatever he needs, I cant take care of that and he can do the same for me. I cant lie, I would be suspicious if my husband made me that offer because he's not one to share his prize possession with anyone in that way (or any man in general).LOL