How do we get our 11 year old daughter to help with/do chores around the house?/?

Question

I am 39 and disabled. I cannot walk. My husband works and does much of everything around home. Our daughter doesn't seem interested in doing anything having to do with work. My husband is constantly worried about me, whether he is home or not, and he is under a lot of stress. We love our daughter more than anything, and (I guess) we'ver both had a hand in spoiling her. She is a good girl. Help!

Answer 1

Give her a chart with her chores, if she doesn't do them by the deadline you set, then she doesn't get to do the things she wants to do! Start taking away the right to do anything she wants and she may be more willing to help out.
I would also sit down with her and let her know that you would really appreciate her help around the house. Tell her you are proud of what a good child she is, but that you really need her help at this point in time and it would mean so much to you if she would. At this point, you could also explain to her that if she chooses not to help out, then she won't be doing hte things that she enjoys doing. Not necessarily grounded, but not doing everything she wants either. Rewards and consequences. But if she is the loving daughter you say she is, maybe having a chat with her and explaining how important her help is, then that may be the only thing you will need to do.

Answer 2

I have an 11 yr old daughter and she too has difficulty understanding helping around the house. Her excuse would always be pointing at the little ones and say "how come they dont have to do anything?" I agree it is frustrating, my husband travels for work and is rarely home. I work full-time and have to deal with 4 children. I finally gave my 11 yr and ultamatum. She loves to play sports, she plays soccer and softball, she also loves music, she plays the violin and dances tap. We too have given her everything she ever wanted and spoiled her....I warned her that I will slowly take everything away from her. Just my threats seem to work, she is also a great girl with good grades. But becoming a pre-teen with hormones does not help at all. Sit and talk to her and let her know how you feel. Explain that her helping around would really take the burden of worrying about everything away from her father and it will also help you a lot. Just talk to her and be honest. Good luck and god bless you.

Answer 3

Both of my children have chores that they have no option in. I work full time and go to college full time, I don;t have time to do it all. My 11 year old has to clean the kitchen ... load and unload the dishwasher, clean the surfaces, ect. My 9 year old has the trash from both bathrooms, the basment and the kitchen.

If she is not willing to help because she can then it has to be made a requirement with consequenses when it is not done.

Answer 4

Stop spoiling her - the only new clothes you buy her should be picked out by you or your husband from a thrift store, no desserts or favorite foods, no toys or games for her until she agrees to help out. Once she does and gets into a routine, then start gradually going back to spoiling (only if she maintains helping).

Answer 5

Does she get an allowance? If not, now is the time to start(if she does her chores without fussing). If she already gets an allowance, is she already asking for special things, clothes, makeup, etc.? Up her allowance (a little) on the same terms. She's at the age she will start wanting more things.

Answer 6

Reward her give her chores if she completes all of them for the week at the weekend take her for a treat soon enough she will get into the routine of helping if she doesnt do all her chores all week then she doesnt get the treat

Stick to your guns and you will see an improvement id suggest a sticker chart to mark of her chores and have her help pick which chores she does

Answer 7

If you give her an allowance withdraw it unless she does some work around the home... but before resorting to that ask her nicely and plead your case.. if she is still resistant then you have to tell her that she has to do it and withdraw as said above her allowance or something that she values eg. going out with friends, watching tv etc...
I hope this works and I hope you're feeling well.. Good Luck :)

Answer 8

sit her down and talk to her. explain to her that she needs to help out around the house and to learn responsibility. Then tell her what is expected of her. If she doenst do what is asked of her start taking away things from her that mean something, like her allowance, her cell phone, ipod, computer, no friends over after school.

Answer 9

My mom in no way made me do any chores in any respect different than keep my room clean. She in no way griped at me, she in no way moaned and complained or took out her aggravations of the international out on me. i admire her for that. My mom raised 3 little ones by using herself. She certainly enable us to have a early existence whilst i became right into a toddler. We did do dishes, yet we the place in no way compelled to do it. i recognize mom and dad that tension their little ones to do each and every of the abode projects at even an prolonged time of seven and eight years previous. i think of it rather is disgusting that youngsters are being dealt with as little slaves around the abode. some say, making little ones do chores gets them waiting for the authentic international. i think of it particularly is done crap. I do all my own chores, cooking, cleansing, washing, groceries, like i suggested, my mom in no way made me do something, so as that may not have the ability to be authentic. i'd say tension her to do her room, yet i does not tension her to do chores around the abode. she would have her very own chores whilst she gets her very own place. I in no way understand mom and dad who choose to regulate little ones. No ask your self some little ones improve up hating their mom and dad. Bribing their little ones to do stuff. try this or i'm going to eliminate something. do not you notice what form of parenting it particularly is. it rather is pathetic. purely my opinion.

Answer 10

you guys should have a family meeting. you and your husband should explain to her that right now you need her more than ever to help around the house. i'm sure she will understand if she is a so- called good girl.