Even when I'm at school discusing a project with my instructor people think it's O.K. to butt in when it's not. I see this going on quite a bit. Have people lost their manners? How do I deal with this with out creating conflict?
2007-03-15 11:18:19 · 18 answers · asked by tysonkillion 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Wish I could give you good answer. Been working on getting my wife to stop interrupting me. All comes down to people thinking too much about their response to you as opposed to listening. Listening is a lost art form. That's why you have to pay for therapists.
2007-03-15 11:24:31 · answer #1 · answered by allindotcom@sbcglobal.net 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have studied human behavior and as a professional manager I can tell you that this is a characteristic of the "me" generation. People of this generation believe that their time is more important than anybody elses. They may be correct from their point of view.
Another reason for this is because the person (anybody) may live in a narrowly defined reality where their interests overshadow all else, they want input, to express or quick gratification above all else. If you call either one of these groups on their rudeness you will get an even more rude rebuttal.
In our day and age of civility and overly zealous law suits a person is really helpless to correct this problem.
2007-03-15 18:28:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If they are part of the conversation, they may be misreading your conversation cues. There are also people that are more active conversationalists that step-stone ideas (saying this made me think of that, and so forth), while some like to sit back, digest what has been said, and respond. Style points is what it comes down to.
If they are not part of the conversation, look at them in the eyes and say "I will be finished shortly and the floor will by yours. Thank you." Even if they are being rude, being rude back hurts no one's image but your own.
2007-03-15 18:32:16 · answer #3 · answered by tajmina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a general rule people aren't intending to "interrupt" but rather are intending to "join in on" the conversation. To become part of it.
The major question is why it bothers you. Does it bother you because you feel they are taking away focus from you (I like being the center of attention myself, it bothers me when others step in on my conversation but mostly because of the focus being split between me and them); does it bother you because you are shy and can barely handle just one person; maybe because you have trouble on focusing on more than one person at a time and this is taxing your mind (not saying you aren't intelligent enough to handle it, but rather that your mind has trouble switching back and forth between two very different minds and tailoring your answers to suit both minds at the same time)?
If its the first one (you are no longer center of attention), then seriously get over yourself. I had to, you can too. If its the second one (shyness), this could actually be an opportunity to practice dealing with more than one person--try to be openminded and use it. If its the third one (trouble splitting the focus between two people), a friend of mine used to focus on one person--whichever one he was speaking to at the time--and would ignore the other person. Afterwards he would speak to the second person and would completely ignore the first one while speaking with the second. In this way his mind had time to refocus and switch to the other person.
Part of your problem is seeing it as bad manners, you are intentionally looking for the bad in the other person afterwards. Try to see it as it actually is, just someone trying to be friendly with both of you and it will help you to see them as good people worth your time. That alone would go a long way to making this easier for you.
2007-03-15 18:33:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Arrrrrrrrrrr, don't you just hate that?? It use to happen to me until I spoke up, when people see that they can get away with either talking on top of someone or dominating a situation and you don't say anything they will continue to do it. when this happens be assertive and sure of yourself and say. "Excuse me I was speaking can I finish what I was saying then you can have your turn". Or you can say "What I have to say is just as important as what you have to say so let me finish please". That should shut them up. And next time you won't have to repeat yourself as they should get the mesasge that you won't allow them to talk over you. Good luck and speak up.
2007-03-15 18:31:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've hit the nail on the head--people have lost their manners. No one seems to respect or follow proper etiquette anymore. I would just turn to the person and politely ask them to wait until you are finished.
2007-03-15 18:26:41 · answer #6 · answered by Tracy S 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you are not pausing enough for them to give feedback. Sometimes I don't realize I am interrupting because I think they are done with their thought. I like conversations to be animated and energetic. So I don't mind being interrupted.
2007-03-15 18:26:25 · answer #7 · answered by margherita 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ugh I hate people like that.Last year there was this chick in my class and she wouldn't let me say one word to my ex-best friend.It ticked me off so much.I really don't think there's a way to solve this without being rude.Either say "you know what! This is nine of your business" or tell them that it's rude.
2007-03-15 18:25:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You could try talking a little louder! I'm being serious, that happens to me sometimes and I'll talk louder or I'll just say excuse me, I'm still talking!!
2007-03-15 18:24:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
when ur talking to someone, and another person butts in, wait for a while, let them talk a few minutes, then INTERRUPT THEM. they will get the hint, unless they are completely imbecilic.
2007-03-15 18:27:37 · answer #10 · answered by waterlily750 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋