HELP!! my only son?

Question

I am sorry & don't need down graded for the mother I was'nt or could have been but my son has gone to jail when he was only 15 yrs old than to prison. He got out & got into marijuana and was cuff up today. I just feel so respondsible. I was not a good mom let alone a good person but I am today
& have been for 5/6 years. I am speachless, I love my son PLEASE don't answer if you want too tell me what a failure I have been, no-one can punish me like I've already done to myself. What to do or say??? THANK YOU HEART SENT

Answer 1

I know how you feel. First off, you don't need to be hard on yourself any longer. What is done is done. You can not change the past, you can only learn from it and go on. That is your first step in recovering. Believing in yourself and knowing that you can do it!!! It sounds like you need to forgive yourself and start looking to the future. God gives us a hope and a future. God can do anything and he can take a situation that you feel is ugly and impossible and make it a beautiful thing. For all things work together for those that love the Lord. Pray, ask God to come into your life and be real in your life. Speak positives things into your life. This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. The life and death of us is in our tongues. Start speaking positive things over your life. You can do all things through Christ that strengthens you. I am more than a conqueror!! I am the head and not the tail. As for me and my house we will serve the Lord. God loves you. You need to learn to love yourself too. We can be forgiven. Seek God. He will help you and bring you more joy than you ever thought possible. Check out www.revival. com. You have to sign up to view the webcast, but it is free.

Answer 2

Oh honey, I feel for you. I am sorry that you had to experience such a heart break. When indeed you may be partly to blame, do not carry this blame on your shoulders alone. You have made mistakes before, as any human being has. The important thing now is that you have done your best for the majority of his life, and given him the care and support he needed. Sad thing is after giving all the guidance and love that you can, you still cant choose their destinys for them. He is at the age where you cant tell him how to live any more. Atleast not in his eyes. All you can do now is remember that you did your best, and send him all the love in the world.

Answer 3

People make mistakes throughout their lives, and it hurts a person more when they feel that they are responsible for doing something...especially to their own child. I hope you do realize that you never made your son do the things that he did. No one ever forces a person to do drugs or do something irresponsible that will land them in jail or even prison. He made his own decisions and that's what landed him where he is today, not you. All you can do is talk to him and tell him that you are there for him now, because he does need to know that he has the support of his mother. Good luck hun.

Answer 4

You cannot change the past , it is what it is.You may have made bad choices in the pastbut you had the courage to face your shortcomings , many people lack this ability.You have shown that you took control of your life and made changes to improve your life. You can only strive to be the best person you can be.Now for your son and his problems. He may have only been 15 when he first got into trouble.He also has made bad choices.At fifteen he would be aware that some of his choices were bad ones but he still made them. He will also have to accept that he is responsible for his choices. Many people have grown up in households that were less than perfect but they were still able to overcome this. You cannot help your son unless he admits he is also responsible for the direction his life took. Do not berate yourself over the past.Love your son and be there for him. My dad used to say "Many strive for perfection, but only God can attain it". Love yourself enough to forgive yourself. Your son will have to do the same. Take things one day at a time.Take care.

Answer 5

I do think you should spend time with him and I mean as much as you possibly can. Be an example of change for him. Living your life better for yourself will hopefully give him the possibility of change. Get to know him. Talk to him about the mistakes you have made and how it messed with your life. Tell him the truth good or bad. Tell him how you feel. Help him become a better person by doing whatever you can to get himself together and for him to live a better life than you did. We all make mistakes. Learning from them is what makes all of us better people.

Answer 6

First of all, not all good parents end up with good kids and not all bad parents end up with bad kids, so you cannot take full blame for his problems. Your son is old enough to know right from wrong.

You know that you are a good person today, you know you straightened up and got a second chance. Let your current life be an example to your son. Let him know that if you changed he can too!

Pray and pray for him. Sweet Jesus can transform his life! You are in my prayers.

Answer 7

it is not your fault!!! at the end of the day he is old enough to be able to say no! you cannot have your eye on him 24/7, he is not really a child. it does not matter what has happened in the past, it is not an excuse for him to commit crimes!!!!!!!!! you need to have a talk to him, resolve any issues you both may have and just stand by him, he is still your son, and you still love him, you just need to let him know that you still love him and that he can come to you with problems. i wish you and your son all the luck and love in the world!!!!!!

Answer 8

I know how you are feeling. My dad's 1st was a good kid but he was in juvie every other week. He was at the wrong place at the wrong time doin the wrong thing... My dad was there for him 24/7 but something just didn't click for him. He was doin crack, pot, and Mary J he got this 14yr old girl pregnant and now he paying for it. My brother no longer live in this house he lives with his wive and kids and is doin better. We still see him but not as often but he had now thanks my dad for being there every day(by phone).
YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE....YOUR SON LOVES YOU NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS, AND DOES. HE WILL SOBER UP SOONER OR LATER OR HE WILL FIND HIS BUTT IN A CRACK. YOU KEEP TELLING HIM THAT YOU LOVE HIM AND WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HIM NO MATTER WHAT.
Britt

Answer 9

Go see him and tell him how you have changed and why. You may be able to turn his own life around. You didn't explain too much of the situation, but it sounds like he hasn't been with you. Maybe you could try it when he gets out.
Keep up on your path to righteousness. hopefully he will follow the same path.

Answer 10

I have encountered people in your situation. You are a mom and thats the hardest job anyone could have. I think if a teen is going to do something and made up their mind to do it... then they are going to do it, despite what anyone says. he made the choice the best thing you can do is be there for him, love him, comfort him, and talk to him. I wish the best of luck to both of you.