Why can't I find a decent woman?

Question

Just when I think everything is going great, something like her moving back with her husband for the kids sake happens. I am truly going to give up. I have been doing this relationship thing for 20 plus years and am sick of heartache and break after break!!!!! HELP!

Yeah, I am a fool for getting involved with a separated but not divorced woman....YEAH I KNOW!

Answer 1

I feel for you! I have felt exactly this way many of times. When we put our whole heart into a relationship just to have it crushed into many pieces can be painful! Although, you are right when you said you should have not risked being involved with a woman who was still married. Honest, you will get over this. And you will one day find someone special who will love you and make you happy. You sound like such a loving person, it is refreshing to know there are still nice guys such as yourself out there. All you need is a woman who will appreciate you. So far you have been only with the ones who did not appreciate a good man. Next time be more selective with who you involve yourself with. The effort and time it takes to being selective will save you heartache and pain. Wish I could take your pain away, but only time will. Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

You say you want a decent woman. Where are you looking? What are you looking for? If you want the blonde bombshell, that is what you are getting. If you have to have the model thin and materialistic girl in her mini skirt and 3 " nails . That is what you been getting the last 20 years. You want the live that a plain Jane can give you , but you want it in the Christmas package. Well, you can't have it both ways. The girl that will love you and treat you nice is in the church. Working hard everyday and being a good person. Not at your neighbor beer joint. You are looking at the wrong things in life. Take the rose colored glasses off and smell the roses they are out there. You have been picking the thorns.

Answer 3

You have probably met tons of decent women,but under wrong circumstances. Maybe you should sit down one day and make a list of what you want in a partner and weed out the things that don't seem to work for you. Sometimes our expectations of what or who our special someone should be can mess up our perceptions of the real thing and when that happens we keep falling back into the same muck over and over again. Try and come up with at least 5 women you have dated and see what they all have in common and if it's all negative then you need to stay away from women that have the same traits...also,try not to date women that have only recently broken up with their husbands of boyfriends...that would be called rebounding and you don't want to get caught up in that again...Good luck.

Answer 4

I know you "get it" because of your additional comment, but honestly, you set yourself up from the start. How can you expect to get a "decent" woman if you purposely hook up with someone with a lot of baggage from day one? When I say baggage, I don't mean past baggage. Obviously, she had current baggage. If you want a decent woman, then you need to investigate why YOU don't set higher standards for yourself. That was asking for trouble, but you already know that. Find someone unattached. That still doesn't mean you won't suffer heart break again, though. You have to learn that sometimes, it doesn't work out. There's a big lesson to be learned here. RISK. You have to risk that it might not work out, but one of these days it will....and by then you'll have learned enough through these painful situations to know what you should and shouldn't do, because you'll know how it feels to be on the receiving end of it. Good luck.

Answer 5

I will give you the same answer that I give a lot of women who ask this same question but in regards to a guy.

First, are you a decent man? What standard did you use to compare yourself against, to answer that question? I would have to questions that one to start if you are dating a married women, or even a divorced one for that matter, unless the divorce was because she was cheated on. What would a decent woman find in you or about you that would make her wish to be with you? A decent person wants the same, not lower.

Next, would you recognize a decent women if you met her? Many people have a warped sense of decent, just as they have a warped set or morals. Many times, those who claim to want a decent person, reject truely decent people or fail to recognize them.

Are you long term goals or intentions such that they would cause a decent person to opt in with you?

Answer 6

well whatever you do don't go to a bar to find a good woman, any woman in there is just divorced or on the way to being divorced, or a crack head lol, anyway stay away from the bars... get a puppy, go for walks in the parks where other singles go to walk their pets. go to church(as mentioned above), not my move though....and last but not least, the grocery store... but first take a good look at yourself. Are you the marrying type? do you have your shat together? have a home? groceries? a car?. a good attitude? love for life? all of these attract women who want stability... i hope you find ms right

Answer 7

Because you are looking. When you can wake up every morning and be happy with just you then you will be ready for a relationship. Chances are when that happens you wont have to look at all. Women love confidence. The right women will come along when you least expect it. You can't have the right woman when you are in a relationship with the wrong one.

Answer 8

I think you answered your own question.
Try looking for women that aren't recently separated or divorced.

And if this isn't the issue with the majority of women you've been hooking up with over your 20 years, then you need to have a good look at yourself and find out what it is about you that's attracting the women that aren't giving you the long-term relationship you're looking for.

Answer 9

well where are you looking?ok you know that married women are not the answer so try taking a break from looking get yourself together not that your not together now but we can all stand self improvement right? i had a friend tell me once that until you are able to be comfortable alone you will never find the right one i thought what a load of bull but i tried it and it worked for me i lived alone and just stop thinking about dating and my perfect mate fell from the sky that's not to say we have a perfect relationship nobody does no matter what they say but we are good together so just relax and take a break and come back better then ever good luck

Answer 10

Maybe try to find someone who hasn't recently gone through a separation or divorce - these are the types of women who are vulnerable and most often don't know what to do think or how to move on.
I haven't been in the relationship game for as long as you have so maybe I lack the experience to be able to provide insightful advice.
Do you find that you often go for women who share a common trait/personality? Have you explored your reasons for these commons? It sounds to me like you need someone fresh - know what I mean?
Good luck!