Domestic Violence Recovery Center?

Question

I am presently in the process of creating a domestic violence recovery center for abused men, women and children. Unlike shelters this will be a long term facility where counseling and retraining will be provided to victims in order for them to be able to return to society without being dependent on their abuser. I am looking for abuse victims for input about what such a center should have. I would also appreciate other tips and suggestions to help get this going.

Answer 1

I am an abused women with children and the main thing I would try and do is have a safe (Hiding) place for women,children,ect. The one thing I fear right now is that he will find me and kill me. There is NO underground shelters to help women who are truly stuck. Being afraid is one of the biggest problems. worrying If their partner will find them. I have 4 children and another worry is money to survive. He has all access to the money I have none. I couldn't even get up money for gas to drive somewhere. And when you call the police he acts like nothing is wrong. So I think they think it is a false call. When you tell them about it they tell you to stay in your home and lock your doors. I am afraid to sleep so to tell me to stay is not gonna work for me. I hope that some of this will help you figure out what to do. New Identity for an abused person knowing that their children and self are safe. Maybe you can try also having a guard present in-home to make people feel more safer. May God Bless you for trying to help.

I live this daily thinking and trying to find things posted to learn how to get help but being scared is tough to see the light. Another problem with shelters is that they can not accommodate a family of 6. So reach BIG. because when they need the help you will be there.

Answer 2

You must have safe housing. Some centres send a van to pick up the family, they then take them to a safe house in the country. No-one is ever given the address. A letter is send out to family/friends to state where they are i.e. Shelter but no phone calls etc. The woman/man need time to heal and feel safe, once trust has been accepted you can then begin to work on the full recovery. The country setting works very well, it is peaceful they usually grow their own food and take in abused animals too. Everyone there works and have tasks to do throughout the day i.e. feed the animals or pick veg. Sometimes you have to keep busy and learn new skills to take your mind off the abuse. You have to remember the victim has been thinking about all of this for a long long time and it is very challenging to unlearn, especially this particular subject. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Make sure you have games for all ages of children. Clothing in various sizes because some of these women just leave with the clothes on their backs. Toiletries and such things that maybe you would pack is you were leaving home. Also have phone numbers handy of local businesses that would be hiring, or local government numbers. Stationary and stamps so they could mail family members if they weren't able to call.
Also some "self-help" books or others that would be appropriate. Good luck-and may God bless.

Answer 4

I went to a battered woman shelter to get away from my ex husband.. It was the worst place I had ever been.. yeah it was big and we had our own bed but you had to sleep with your stuff on you.. i didn't have the help and support I needed in taking care of my kid.. my sons clothing got stolen, money, smokes, everything.. your suppose to feel safe getting away from your abuser but here.. there was nothing safe.. there where like 20 women and children that had been abused sharing this big house and they are all angry because look at what they went through.. but there were always fights.. I honestly think the only way I would go back to one of those places is if it were a hotel setting or an apartment setting where you can lock your own room and feel safe. Also the place I lived at never helped you financly.. which I understand some of the women would go and spend it on drugs but what about us mom's that left everything we had and came to this shelter and we need gas money to get to and from work to get back on our feet or clothes for our kid.. or soap.. when you are leaving a abuser your not thinking about oh did i get everything I need.. your thinking god I hope I can leave before he gets back or wakes up.. Some good things that did help about this place is that one.. I called them and asked if they could house me and my son they said yes and I was to meet a cop at the hospital and the cop took us to the shelter.. they had rules for saftey like not even your family could know where you were staying.. you couldn't be picked up and dropped off by anyone.. they had a p.o. box for an address so that you could still get your mail and no one knew where you were staying.. they had a pay phone that only took incoming calls and when you answered and someone asked for someone you couldn't tell them that they were or were not there.. if you couldn't find them then you write down the name of the person that called and left a message for them (if they still lived there or not, you couldn't tell). SRS was involved with couselers and child couselers which helped cause you could talk to them about everything and they walked you through things. They had a children's center behind the shelter and a private fence so no one could see you if you were playing in the back yard.. you had to drive up the drive way and hit a button that would let you speak to the person in the office and they would ask your name and if you lived there they would let you in, otherwise you didn't get in.. they had drug and alcohol testing every week.. you were not allowed to do either as long as you lived there.. You had to be indoors by 10pm everynight unless you worked nights and that would be worked out upon arrival. They had the ladies do chores every night to keep the place clean. We also had meetings we had to attend and if we couldn't attend them then we would get into trouble.. The big thing though is providing a place where a woman and her kids feel safe and can start again with thier lives, also transportation was a big issue.. in order to move out you wanted to find your own place but if he had the car and you have no way to get around you have to walk to the bus stop and if you don't have anyone to watch your kids, there is no way for you to get a job and move on with your life. Any questions let me know, I tried to give you the ups and downs..

Answer 5

I was in an abusive relationship for years. Both mentally and physically. The best thing you can offer anyone who has been though this is not only shelter, so they can be removed from the situation but also conseling is key. My self esteem was broken until someone showed me that the problem was not me at all.

Answer 6

i spent 2 years volunteering at mother-load crises center it showed me something about abused people some not all crave it (watch out the women would call the guy and tell them were the safe house is) be safe about who really needs help one women was caught giving heroin to her baby so it would not cry(i almost killed her it took everything i had not to).i found from my experience 1 in 5 actually needed help the others were just using the system.

Answer 7

That finished element approximately adult men being the oppressors and females being the victims is the only reason i will think of of. If there are feminists intentionally masking up toddler abuse of any form,then they are in a position to't be seen females or perhaps human beings. it rather is unhappy that somebody's ideology would override their experience of empathy for an abused toddler.

Answer 8

I think that you should have a safe place where they know they cant be found and get someone to talk to
Start a support group like alco anonymous so that they can share the pain and release it
Its easier to talk to people who have shared the same experience

Answer 9

Go to RAIIN.org.

Seek out some community backing and ally yourself with a known group that will help you financially and with advice. Make it more about what you want instead of kowtowing to special interests.

In otherwords, go with your gut. Treat those whom you seek to help with the same way you'd want to be treated.

Answer 10

Click on my avatar if you want to ask me any questions. I am an abuse victim myself. No now, it was 8 years ago.