In my last question someone said I must not really love my husband, if I picture him as being better looking to get there during sex. I feel like I still love him, I just don't love that he's fat.
2007-03-15 09:02:08 · 19 answers · asked by mommyem 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've had three children, and I never said I wasn't fat.
2007-03-15 09:07:58 · update #1
I didn't say I think of someone hotter...I just picture him hotter.
2007-03-15 09:09:30 · update #2
It is normal to think to our partners as perfect, especially during intimate moments. So give that other persons thought no more credence.
2007-03-15 09:06:06 · answer #1 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Women use emotion and fantasy when making love, while men can look at boobs and get "there" like "that". There is nothing wrong with what you are doing. It does not mean that you don't love your husband. You know whether you do or you don't. Just enjoy your intimacy and don't let undeserved guilt keep you from having fun. If women only looked at their husbands while having sex, married couples wouldn't be having much sex. i.e. Donald Trumps wife. Enough said.
2007-03-15 16:14:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If that's the only thing that is making you question if you love him or not, then it doesn't sound like you have a lot to worry about. If you were cheating on him with better looking people to get there during sex, then you'd have a great reason to ask.
2007-03-15 16:13:32 · answer #3 · answered by really marine 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For me being a Christian...
The moment you married the person you did...it became God's will for you to marry that person. He would not have matched you up otherwise.
If you feel that you don't love him, one of you most likely has something they are hiding from the other spouse. You need to communicate these problems to your spouse and see what the other is thinking. I hope this helps.
Get these books, very helpful in marriage:
1) His needs, Her needs
2) Love and Respect
3) Divorce proof your Marriage
2007-03-15 16:29:43 · answer #4 · answered by James C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to determine if you can live with him the rest of your life with him this way or fatter.
Second, find out if his weight bothers him as much as it bothers you. If it does, maybe you need to support him in getting in shape. Join a gym and work out with him.
If he has absolutely no concern with his weight and doesn't care that it bothers you, then you may need to decide if being married to an overweight person for the REST OF YOUR LIFE is what you want. Life is to short to be unhappy. I hate when people say that love is unconditional Of course it is conditional. If your spouse stops caring for themself they stop caring for you.
2007-03-15 17:04:40 · answer #5 · answered by Millionaire in training 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you wouldnt have married him if it want for love right? some people dont know what they are talking aout. it is normal for married couples to get bored with eachother and think of more attractive people during sex. not all couples are going to look the same from the day you get married until death, it is only natrual for attraction to fade.
2007-03-15 16:05:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask yourself (or others) if yo love your husband; then you don't.
If his weight bothers you during sex, then you aren't turned on by him anymore and feel like you're missing out.
Chances are he feels the same way but unlike most married people, at least you're still having sex.
2007-03-15 19:21:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Love is unconditional and goes beyond physical appearance.
If you're worried about it - tell him you want to go on a diet and see if he'll do it with you in effort to support you. Ask him go for a walk with you.
2007-03-15 16:07:03 · answer #8 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can love someone who is not very attractive.
I don't doubt you love him. But try to open your eyes SOMETIMES. If he gets wind of the idea that you find his body a huge turn off you will hurt his feelings.
My disco lady is overweight. I don't love it, but I love her. I rarely "close my eyes and think of some hottie".
2007-03-15 16:07:18 · answer #9 · answered by Disco Stu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go on vacation for like 2 weeks.
If for those 2 weeks you dont think about him except for like on or two days your not seriously in love.
But on that vacation if you miss him every night and you find yourself thinking about him, you seriously love him.
Try it out.
2007-03-15 16:06:20 · answer #10 · answered by MiiKEY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋