I told her I thought she can go and sit back so she cant see on the other hand she wants to look she said. Id love your opinions.
2007-03-15 09:01:40 · 10 answers · asked by stefani h 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I was this age when my great grandmother passed and my mother took me and she gave me the same speech basically about how I could hang back and not have to see her in the casket. I was curious just as your daughter is, leave the decision up to her and let her know that the choice is hers. Let her know if she does go up to say good bye that if any time then or at a later date she has questions she can come to you with them.
She should do okay, good luck.
2007-03-15 09:10:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have found it to be better to let the children go to funerals and experience the idea of death in their own way. If she was close to the great grandma I might suggest that she place a single stem rose in the casket with the help of an adult , sometimes doing things of this sort make the experience a Little easier to deal with. I would also suggest that you take her in when the family does its initial viewing , this is sometimes so much easier on them then when they walk in and there are all of the mourners standing around. This is what I did and what I was brought up doing too. you have my deepest sympathy.
2007-03-15 16:16:10 · answer #2 · answered by lilmystic63 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's something you and her both think she's old enough to handle, go for it. I was about that age the first time I went to an open-casket viewing and my parents just let me set my own pace. When I was ready to go up to the casket, they held my hands and took me up. And if you get there and she decides she's not ok with it and she doesn't want to get that close, don't force it. Let her find her own comfort zone and set her own pace. She'll know what's right for her.
2007-03-15 16:07:19 · answer #3 · answered by OhKatie! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont know if i would let my 9 year old sit through a funeral. If she really wants to see great granma I would take her BEFORE the services for a quick viewing.
2007-03-15 16:10:18 · answer #4 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
death is something every living person encounters one way or another. I personally tell my child everything. his ferret died a few months ago and we had a brief discussion about why he wouldnt "wake up" Fabian helped his daddy bury the ferret. now i feel that when a family member goes I can better explain to him death. I think if she feels ready then let her see... if you notice signs of her being uncomfortable or uneasy... immediatly remove her from the situation... ask her once more before you go in... "are you sure you want to do this?" stay with her and ask if she wants to talk about it after. My neice lost her dad when she was about the same age and she declared she was going to have "alone time" with her dad to say her personal goodbyes. the family let her have 10 minutes and that helped her. She talked to us after and now she understands... age should not impact a serious situation... if a child is ready, they are ready, let them experiance life. you might be surprised at how much they can take...
2007-03-15 16:12:38 · answer #5 · answered by heavenly_rain_angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my dad died my daughter was the same age. At the undertakers we went to see him. The lady there said to let her look in the room so she could see the coffin but not to go in. She kindly explained that the vision could stick in her mind and give her nightmares.
Looking back I am so grateful to that lady. I agreed with her, visual things do stick in your mind more and you never know how a child will react.
I agree, a seat at the back is fine.
2007-03-15 16:21:11 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation, with an 8 & 9 year old... they did fine, knew what was going on. I made sure they knew ahead of time what they would be seeing - and they were more interested than anything else. They went & said "Goodbye", and it was.... fine.
2007-03-15 16:06:44 · answer #7 · answered by quantumclaustrophobe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I took my nine year old to his grandfathers funeral and he handeled it just fine. I thought it was good for him to experience. We all have to deal with the loss (even children). let her say her goodbyes.
2007-03-15 16:10:07 · answer #8 · answered by angie a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd let her go,but I would let her control what she she saw and did don't push her,you'll scare her,if you don't let see what she wants to,she'll think there's something to be scared of.
2007-03-15 22:13:39 · answer #9 · answered by Butch46 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't have wanted to go when i was that age.. so if she wants to go she might as well see the entire thing
2007-03-15 16:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by steph 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋