Husband said he is leaving me. Still lives in the house until he is finds a place. Tells me I need to get out (because he knows I have been depressed with his decision to leave) SO why do I feel guilty about going out. I have made plans with friends this weekend and they are driving - but I feel so strange and guilty. Maybe it is because it will be the first time to go out without him (beside a yearly girls night out). Maybe once he actually leaves and is not in the house I wont feel so bad. I told him this can be some special time with two of the children.
2007-03-15 08:57:11 · 12 answers · asked by Confussedhere 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sure your initial reaction is right. It's because this is new and you haven't gone out for so long without him. The second month in to my divorce, I went to the comedy club with a friend and I couldn't even have fun! It was just so very strange, but believe me, it does get better, and easier, and pretty soon, you will be guilt free and having fun!
2007-03-15 09:04:36 · answer #1 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it guilt, or is it just a saddness you are feeling? It is an end of an era for you, your husband is leaving you which is an extremely sad time.....Yes, things will probably be better when he actually does leave, but you going out with the girls is probably the first real indication the marriage is over...so I dont think its guilt, I think its saddness. Actually going out with the girls is this weekend is only a start to your new "single" life. It will be different doing things on your own, and will take some time to get used to it.
Maybe with the saddness, there is also a little bit of fear as well, and I think you are mixing these feelings up with guilt.
I hope you have a great time with the girls this weekend...try not to think about your husband as hard as it will be, just let your hair down and have a good time.
Take care
2007-03-15 09:07:48 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure why you feel "guilty" but I can understand your feeling bad. However, if he's leaving, tell him to leave now. His finding a place is really not your responsibility. HE chose to leave, so he should leave and not drag it on forever and keep you in limbo. He can go to a friends, a relatives or to a motel for a few nights, I wouldn't care, but if my husband told me he was leaving, then he'd have to leave that instant, I would NOT put up with him lying about the house and certainly he wouldn't be in my bed. Now I could see if you ASKED him to leave, then yes, he'll need time but since it was his decision, he would have to go NOW. Good luck.
2007-03-15 09:09:48 · answer #3 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You still care about him, and you aren't used to going out without him, it's understandable. But it will be good for him, handling the kids without you, because that's how it will be when he finally finds his own place. You are in a different stage in your life now, where you have to get past the married phase and reluctantly start going out with the girls or dates. It was his decision to break up. Let him see that you are ready to be single again.
2007-03-15 09:12:00 · answer #4 · answered by Vegas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u feel guilty because u really still love him, and if u had your choice u would be going out with him rather than just the girls. and it feels strange to leave him at home and be going without him, because he has been your life and involved in everything, up until now. feels strange because u really don't want to even imagine life without him.
2007-03-15 09:08:06 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a number of of couples do this. What business enterprise is it of anybodys how and what you and your loved ones does? those human beings do no longer pay your charges, dont hassle approximately what they think of. in the event that they referred to as a housewife/mom lazy that ought to be stupid some as a househusband/father you cant be lazy and being a stay at abode be certain. Why could you experience accountable approximately some thing so smart? while you're making extra then your husband or concerning to a similar quantity why shouldn't he stay at abode and carry the infants? Thats portion of whats incorrect with infants now a days, maximum of them did no longer have a stay at abode be certain. They run the streets and did in spite of they needed too using fact mom and pa have been the two working. in the experience that your going to have infants then staying at abode to be a be certain is lazy or something to experience accountable approximately.Breeding infants for others to babysit or to run the streets and do choose they choose is!
2016-09-30 23:35:18 · answer #6 · answered by heusel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because, besides having other feelings for him, you respect him and as you said in your post it is the first time you are going out without him. It is only if your feelings change and/or he actually moves out, it will be easier for you to go out.
2007-03-15 09:15:18 · answer #7 · answered by ann t 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you still care. Kudos to you for letting him still stay there. I'd be the one to tell him to leave regardless of if he had some where to live or not. He is the one wanting to leave you so why do you still help him out?
2007-03-15 09:02:07 · answer #8 · answered by Valentina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You realy love him and know what true love is.
But a little guilty clean fun never hurt anybody!
2007-03-15 09:11:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I'm sure your feelings will change in time. I wish you the best of luck in the future.
2007-03-15 09:05:53 · answer #10 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋