How are some men still madly in love with wife after yrs of marriage . whats wrong with me?

Question

I cant seem to feel it like when we first met . Ok your going to say do some romantic things and all that stuff but it just seems boring !

Answer 1

This is probably a tuff time in your marriage. The answer is not to seek love outside of your marriage, stay committed to your marriage. You both need to put your true feelings on the table and speak from the heart to see what are your real issues in your marriage.

Answer 2

Look pal...Do you want to save your marriage, and rekindle lost feelings or not? Yea I'm going to tell you to do some romantic things, and all that stuff. Did it seem boaring the first time you did it? Maybe you're the boar that's dragging things down, not your spouse. First off, time has gone by. Feeling exactly like it did when you first met is unlikely. But that doesn't mean you can't feel tons of passion and desire for your spouse every day. You just have to make up your mind that that's what you want, and then make it happen. Start by recycling your romance. Persue her like you've just met. Relearn everything there is to know about your spouse. Assume you know nothing about her, and restart with her like you did way back when. Then STOP letting the mundane things of life get in the way of your romance. Date at least weekly, if not more. If there are children involved, Find a babysitter. The relationship between the two of you HAS GOT TO BE the bedrock you build the rest of your lives around. This isn't a short term deal that you can do for a month or two, and then expect everything to be fine. This is what you do for the rest of your lives together. If things are that bad redo your lives too. Paint the house a completely new color. Ditch the old furnature, and get all new in a completely new style. The point is to renew your lives together. If need be move somewhere else. The adventure of moving can help rekindle your lives if you let it.
Marriage is 24/7/365. It can be boaring if that's what you let it become. Or it can be fulfilling, and wonderful if thats what you work to make it. It's up to you.
Good luck.

Answer 3

Like my mother says, only boring people are bored.

The people who are still madly in love with their spouses after years of marriage feel that way because they have ALOT invested in the marriage. We work on our marriages, it's a daily activity, and a conscious one as well. I constantly think about what my husband needs from me, how I can best help him today, and what I can do to lighten his load. I know he does the same with me, on a daily basis.

You can't just sit back and let things go, and expect to have the same feelings year after year, they change. I don't feel the same way about my husband as I did when we first met, it's 1000% stronger. We've bonded together through many trials and challenges that we've faced together (a special needs child, running a business together just to name 2 of them). We also make time for each other, and let our children know that we come first for each other. It's not easy, no one said having a successful marriage was easy, but it's so worth it in the end.

If you're not willing to put the effort into it, you will get out of it what you put into it. That's true with life, not just marriage.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

Well, unless you have tried everything that there is to have fun and you are only missing to go on the Space Shuttle and have sex in space, I think you just need to be more creative.

Number one, communication. You need to talk to your wife and be honest and explain how “bored” you are now and that you want to get that feeling you had before again because you do love her (and I hope you do). Don’t fight over it, just talk, and see if you two can explore new ideas. It shouldn’t have to be about sex only, but about everything in life. Go to new different places, have fun, have romantic dinners at new restaurants or just sitting on the sand at the beach. Or go and have some crazy sex out on the open (be careful not to be caught).

Number two, love. This is actually just as important as the one before, but I’m leaving it second because I am assuming you love her and she loves you. And if you wonder what is love, I can tell you. Is a feeling that you get inside, like a combination of rage, and happiness, and the desire not only to have her, but to protect her, to please her, to help her, to sacrifice everything for her, and never expect or ask for anything in return.

And after that, you must be able to understand each other, give in, and learn to be grateful for what each do for the other.

Do you love her? Does she love you?

If the answer is yes to both, you better take care of your relation because is well worth it.

Be creative, both of you, and learn to live together without getting tired or bored of each other. It is not only possible, but very easy to do, as long you are willing to do it.

Good luck and have fun!

Answer 5

First of all how long have you been married? And second I think the way it works is you start off hot and heavy as we all do and then over time you grow into a mutual respect and friendship. I Don't think you will ever feel like you did when you first hooked up, but if you love her it will grow.
But on the other hand if romance is not the problem maybe a little counseling may help. have you told her how your feeling these days?
tough one, good luck!

Answer 6

I hear you. Sometimes I think some of these couples that seem so in love are very phony.....then I think maybe they're not. What am I missing here?

I know my wife wouldn't go for all the romantic stuff. I think that's just a temporary fix. Sometimes I fear my kids leaving the nest and it just being the two of us. I should be looking forward to that.

Answer 7

I think the problem is in you, what are you looking for? Do things like you did in the beginning. It all starts in your mind, don't be resentful towards your wife, and I am sure she is feeling it too...Just start thinking about how much you love her really..Or is it that you are intrested in someone else...Don't compare her to other people, stay focused...Your marriage is what you make it...It's not just romance that makes a marriage, it's friendship, it's committment, and honesty, all that...If you have all those ingredients and enjoyed her instead of thinking that it is a chore, then you could be happy, cause it's in your heart....

Answer 8

If you love and respect your wife and wake up appreciative of what you have everyday, you can keep that madly in love lifestyle. It's when you start to take things for granted that you find everything boring. Your wife should be a precious person to you if you truly appreciate who she is and that she stands beside you.

Answer 9

true that after many years of marriage the intense feelings and some of the chemistry may be gone, because its just the physical part. the part where all boundaries are dropped, and the person is idealized, but after marriage, traits that use to be cute in the beginning begin to irritate, and reality sinks in. real love calls for discipline, being madly in love is just about the physical part, the romantic part. but to be able to stay in love is difficult, and requires one to act loving in spite of the circumstances going on. requires emotional maturity to stay in love after the honeymoon stage is over.

Answer 10

Boring people are bored. DO something to make yourself interesting. Take up spanish with your wife. Join a class together where you can learn yachting. Alone take a class in mechanics. You will become more interesting and your life will improve. You are missing yourself, not the old spark.