Divorce is one of the hardest things for an individual to deal with, and so are the events and/or factors that lead up to it. For those of you who are divorced, in your opinion, what lead up to the separation? Is there anything that you feel you could have done better to prevent the divorce? After suffering such heartache--that is, if the divorce actually had an emotional toll on you--do you think you would ever try again (get married)? Why or why not?
Serious and mature answers are great desired and appreciated. Thanks!
2007-03-15 08:32:58 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was crushed by my divorce but am happily remarried after many years. What would I do differently? I would have been a more attentive husband. I would have been more romantic and paid more attention to detail. My divorce and subsequesnt time alone taught me how to treat a lady and how to really love a woman. I will never lose sight of whats really important again.
2007-03-15 08:38:38 · answer #1 · answered by Devdude 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I could have done better. I need to be a better listener, because a relationship requires mutual understanding and consent. There are no two people same, and at times, it is difficult to converse. At a point in time, I had trouble sleeping, because I was addicted to coke. I am switching to filtered tap water and organics, which will help me get more fit. I recognized my mistakes with my marriage, and I am ready to get married again, without experiencing the emotional toll again as it did happen in the past.
2007-03-15 15:52:35 · answer #2 · answered by Maria P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One partner usually wasn't getting what they felt they needed. Maybe there was a breakdown in communication. Maybe one partner had the "7 year itch". Maybe one of you just wasn't so into the other person anymore....and got a wandering eye. Maybe one of you got real selfish and started thinking of only yourself, and the other person finally had enough. Lot's of things factor in. I did get married again, and in my case, this one's even worse, and I'm probably going to end up walking down the same old road, but because I've been through it before, I'm not so scared, because I trust MYSELF to do what's good by me, and I know I'll be okay. And SOMEHOW I still believe there are good guys out there to be had. I just haven't been very good at picking them. As far as the heartache, that old addage, "Time heals all wounds" is so true. You may not ever forget things that happen to you, but with time, you learn to deal with them and move on.
2007-03-15 15:40:15 · answer #3 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I won't marry again. I do feel that it will be easier to take someone's husband as I feel that for all these years, I was the only one playing by the rules.
What happended to us is that instead of being upfront about his unhappiness and working to improve our situation, he got involved with the neighborhood w h o r e. No matter how much people say that it was a "Mutual" decision to divorce, it NEVER is. One decides to give up or remove him or herself from the marriage and the other doesn't have any choice but to move on.
2007-03-15 15:38:17 · answer #4 · answered by tiaburkeangry 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It sucks....
I got married 1st time to escape the fact that my parents were divorcing...not a great reason, and to make it even better he was a druggy...lasted 8 months. Not much heartache involved..just stupidity.
2nd time I waited 5 years, I lived with him for 4 of them, he was my best friend....On our 1st anniversary he told me he was gay. Heartache involved here, but more angry as to why he couldn't have told me this just one year earlier, or 5, depends on how you look at it.
3rd time, I didn't want to get married....but I met someone who fit......everything, we got pregnant...still didn't want to get married....but he got me down the isle when we decided on child #2, just seemed better for the kids.
Marriage is rough.....lots of ups and downs....but when its right, there are so many more happy than sad.....
I wanted to get married at 21, have 2.5 kids by 26, and live happily ever after........sometimes we go through these heartaches to make us more ready for the one person we are really suppose to spend forever with.
Don't give up
2007-03-15 15:35:54 · answer #5 · answered by ste.phunny 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My divorce was because he was an alcoholic and needed to be kept away from the kids. There wasn't anything more I could do to save the marriage, it was up to him at that point. I would get married again, if I found another one that was right for me. Sometimes people just drift apart and their attitudes change about things and people.
2007-03-15 15:40:10 · answer #6 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think I can ever trust again. The lies , the cheating, the stealing. The betrayal . It has destroyed trusting and giving my love to anyone every again. I would never let myself be that open and giving to anyone ever again.
2007-03-15 15:42:43 · answer #7 · answered by springer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't look over your shoulder. Do what your heart tells you, sista.
2007-03-15 15:37:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes,move on...dont look back
2007-03-15 15:36:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋