Please I am open to suggestions. Here is my problem.
I am a heterosexual, who happens to be very good friends with a lesbian. I am open minded, so I don't have a problem with her. But whenever I invite her to a visit, or to a dinner, or some show, she insists on bringing her "wife". This becomes embarrassing when I have other invitees too (all heterosexual). What is worse, my friend and her "wife" are very open about their intimacy---you know hugging, kissing etc. By the way, my friend's companion is not a live-in, so I am not inviting the couple, just my friend.
My friend and I immensely enjoy each other's company and conversation.
What to do, besides dump my friend?
2007-03-15 07:47:35 · 12 answers · asked by paanbahar 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Be honest and upfront with her... Let her know you enjoy her company, and your open minded but don't want to be around her and her wife. If she's as open minded as you are she should understand.
2007-03-15 08:02:37 · answer #1 · answered by MS.MOCHA 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand if you just want some time with your friend, it's the same in hetero relationships, when a friend gets wrapped up in their significant other and leaves no time for their friends. However, if it is just because she's a lesbian and that makes your friends uncomfortable, then maybe you shouldn't invite her to dinner anymore. Maybe you could go out with just them for coffee or a movie, or something of the sort. Either way, you should just talk to her, and let her know that it's not because she's gay, it's because you want your friend back, not the "Brangelina" type couple you get to see now.
2007-03-15 07:59:37 · answer #2 · answered by jjspike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey don't ask her out anywhere. She sounds like a fun happy person who has NO problem being out with friends who totally accept her! She will be fine and u can keep on in a closed straight world with only heterosexual public displays of affection.
I don't say this to be mean to you, it just sounds as tho u wld b happier and feel safer in a closed world if she embarrasses you.
2007-03-15 08:13:55 · answer #3 · answered by front door 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whatever you do, do NOT tell her to act straight. This is a big no-no. My girlfriend's best friend did this to us all the time and now they dont talk to eachother. If you tell her this it will show that you are embarrassed by her and you dont feel comfortable with who she is.
Instead, tell her that you have some straight friends who are comming. She'll understand. Tell her you want to to be herself, but you only want her to come this time.
Tell her that the next time you guys decide to hang out it will just be you, her and her wife. Go to a movie theature, where it's dark or drive to a lake/beach. That way you guys can all hang out and not have to worry about people staring. or if you want to do something with them during the day, go somewhere gay friendly.
good luck
2007-03-15 08:14:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try talking to her about this. The public hugging and kissing at social events is not an issue of being gay or straight, it's about etiquette. Nobody wants to be dining with a couple engaged in swapping spit at the table.
I find it interesting though that you extend the invitation to only her. How often do you get invited somewhere and it's been made clear that only you are invited and that any boyfriend/fiance/husband you might have is definitely NOT welcome.
2007-03-15 08:13:05 · answer #5 · answered by castle h 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it can be difficult when your friends get married. all of a sudden, they become a couple, and the partners (whether straight or gay) seem to literally be attached to them all the time like a ball and chain.
bottom line, if you aren't comfortable with your friend's ball and chain, then you're gonna have to stop inviting her to your events.
it is sad when friendships fal apart because of a pesonality conflict with their ball and chain, but that's just life.
however, if you are embarassed about her lesbian acts in front of your straight friends, then i don't think you are as open as you think you are.
2007-03-15 08:18:56 · answer #6 · answered by Jeff 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her right out- you'd like to go to dinner (wherever) with her alone as your friend. If she's not willing to do that, it's time for a new friend. There's nothing wrong on your end- she's the one who is an imposition.
2007-03-15 07:51:42 · answer #7 · answered by Bud's Girl 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It doesnt sound like you are a true friend, you should love your friends and accept your friends just the way they are and be proud of them no matter what not feell embarresed or ashaimed around them, dump you lasbian friends they deserve a better friend one like mentioned above.
2007-03-15 08:15:47 · answer #8 · answered by Kenny K 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No more invitations. No more problems. They have Lizzy friends they can hang with.
2007-03-15 07:52:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
dump your friend, she doesn't respect you.when one person is invited for dinner only one should show up.
2007-03-15 09:38:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋