I need a good laugh....?

Question

and a cuppa.
Can you make me laugh and what kind of tea would you bring me?

lolypop...why yes it did. hee hee

Answer 1

Hmmm a good laugh eh and a cup of tea eh?
Ok tea first so you can relax.How does a cup of camomille, vanilla and honey tea sound.
Now for the laugh. Hopefully.

A priest kept chickens at his village parish, 1 evening the kock went missing. At mass the priest asked "who has a kock?" all the men stood up. "No i mean who has seen a kock?" all the women got up. "No no, who has seen a kock that isnt theirs?" half the women got up. "oh for goodness sake, who has seen my kock?" All the choir boys stood up!

Not my fault for the spelling, blame yahoo for editing. :-)

Answer 2

A guy walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch.

The bartender thinks "this guy doesn't know the difference," so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch.

The patron takes one sip and spits it out. He promptly hollers at the bartender I said 12-year old scotch, you bozo!"

Still unimpressed the bartender pours some 6-year old scotch.
The patron takes a sip...same reaction.

But the bartender still doesn't believe the patron knows the difference. So he pours a shot of 10-year old scotch. Again, same reaction from the patron.

Finally, the bartender is convinced. He pours the patron a glass of 12-year-old scotch. The patron takes a sip and is most satisfied.

All the while this has been going on, a drunk at the end of the bar has been watching.

He slides a shot glass down the bar to the patron and drunkedly says:
"Shay mishter, tashte this!" The patron obliges...he promptly spits it out.

"That tastes like pee!," he shoots back at the drunk.

The drunk replies: "It ish. Now how old am I?"

Answer 3

Erm.. 2 parts Earl Grey, 1 part Lapsang is really good. Whilst you're enjoying that I could tickle you...

Or say what's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of sh**...
The bucket.

Or a long winded joke about a boy's mother having an affair, which is much funnier. I'll email it to you if you want.

Answer 4

I'm sorry, but my sense of humor isn't all that great. But I can give you some tea. There's this tea that's very common in Arabic countries, and I have the tea leaves growing right in my backyard. It's called na'na'. I know the name sounds weird, but it's actually quite delicious.

Answer 5

Tea is store bought nothing fancy. But we can choose from any of these lovely antique cups and saucers. Lets read leaves and see if the ghosts are frisky today. They turned the teapot on all by themselves yesterday.

Answer 6

I'd serve you iced tea Lipton of course.
and tell you about the time I was translating for a Bishop who was teaching group of people about importants of paying attention and learning to pray at all times, he state that you should not wait for bad things to happen before praying , then he said you should automatically pray without being reminded just like the way you fix youself cup of coffee. at that three quaters of the students got up and fix themself coffee. I could not contain it and began to laught so hard the bishop said thats right and began to laugh himself.

Answer 7

I'd bring you a cup of Earl Gray. As far as making you laugh, here ya go:

Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day, "you know I
know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about
Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So
Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's
door,and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you!You and
your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave
Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was
just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else,"

Bubba says. "President Bush", his boss quickly retorts. "Yep," Bubba
says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington" and off they go. At the
White House, Bush spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his
boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a
meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee
first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After
they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who
again implores him to name anyone else.

"The new Pope", his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba. "I've known the
Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome.

Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square
when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye
among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let
me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope," and
he disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter's.

Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had
a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss's side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope
came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked,
"Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"

Answer 8

Why did Sherlock Holmes paint his front door yellow? A lemon entry my dear Watson!!
Now how about a nice,mild Earl Grey??

Answer 9

A 6-year old and a 4-year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year old. "I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4-year old nods his head in approval. The 6-year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'azz'. The 4-year old agrees with enthusiasm. When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios." WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can just stay there until I let you out!" She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat azz it won't be Cheerios."

Answer 10

OK!,here's a cup of shades of jade tea. A LITTLE OLD LADY WAS RUNNING UP AND DOWN THE HALLS IN A NURSING HOME. AS SHE WALKED,SHE WOULD FLIP THE HEM OF HER NIGHTGOWN AND SAY "SUPERSEX". SHE WALKED UP TO AN ELDERLY MAN IN A WHEELCHAIR,FLIPPING HER GOWN AT HIM,SHE SAID,"SUPERSEX"HE SAT SILENTLY FOR A MOMENT OR TWO AND FINALLY ANSWERED,"I'LL TAKE THE SOUP".