I wonder if even your loveliness
could bring close the receding sky.....
that my aeging hands
could reach and pluck the stars....
to fill up the loneliness of your dreams....
2007-03-15 07:22:36 · 19 answers · asked by Nancy 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
At night I stare up high
reaching for the moonlit sky
my aging heart alone so long
seeks to sing your sunlit song
when the dawn brings new life here
together we are for all our years.
Cool stuff. How's mine....
2007-03-15 07:26:50 · answer #1 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the poem does well but falls short on stanza four. pluck the stars just takes away. i'm hoping it can be revised.
2007-03-15 14:32:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've always liked: you are the stars in my summer sky, and all of my dreams reside in your heavens.
2007-03-15 14:26:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats nice.
2007-03-15 14:24:59 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a good one...I love writing poems...I've even got a few of them published...Good Luck!
2007-03-15 14:30:27 · answer #5 · answered by He's my world 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds sad and lonely. Who are you missing? Have you sent them this poem? Will you? Is it your poem or did someone write it to you?
2007-03-15 15:19:32 · answer #6 · answered by SodaLicious 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes its nice, but it needs more...I wish someone could that for me for real,
You're gifted in my eyes.
2007-03-15 14:30:10 · answer #7 · answered by pinklilywish 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's nice...
You should join http://www.editred.com
It's a fun writing community where you can get feedback on your work and give feedback to other writers.
2007-03-15 14:30:28 · answer #8 · answered by Gen•X•er (I love zombies!) 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's great. i like poetry too. i'm not huge into poetry but i will write a good one now and then
2007-03-15 14:25:32 · answer #9 · answered by chowda99@sbcglobal.net 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it has good thoughts and wording , try adding alittle more
2007-03-15 14:26:53 · answer #10 · answered by whateverbabe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋