I am asingle mother whose daughter is 18 and has a boyfriend who does not go to school and cannot stay long in one job. My daughter has a car he doesn't(told me there is something wrong with the car and needs fixing). My problem here is he abuses my daughter's kindness and lets her be his taxi, to pick him up at his friend's house at 12 midnight. Should I talk to his mom about this? He lives at home. He does not go to my house. My daughter lives with me and work and go to school.
2007-03-15 07:19:27 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I personally don't think it a good idea,What you need to do. Is try to talk to your daughter and let her know your concerns,No Yelling, No putting her down. Just a good talk about how much you love her, and are concerned that she is being used, and you feel she deserves better that this. Tell her you will always be there for her. But Mom, she has to be the one to make that decision, as much as a mother we want the best for our children, but sometimes they have to fall, just be there to pick her up. If you call his mother, you might lose you daughter.
2007-03-15 07:47:29 · answer #1 · answered by lennie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You will not benefit your daughter by interfering in her boyfriend and his mother's relationship.
My daughter was in a similar situation when she was 17-18. I made a point of talking to her often and making sure everything was ok in her world. I also told her I thought her friends were taking advantage of her because she had a car and he did not. She had a job and he did not. (He called all the time for her to bail him out of jail, etc.) We talked seriously about it (not heatedly, I did not argue the fact with her). I finally suggested we move to another town (larger with more to offer her) and drop the friends.
Once she would no longer cater to her friends needs, she found out what kind of friend he was. She did eventually move (at 22) to the larger town and is so much happier.
2007-03-15 07:36:57 · answer #2 · answered by Mee-Maw 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stand up and tell your daughter that she doesn't need to do this for him anymore. I think calling the mother would be a waste of time and effort. She's your daughter. Teach her that a man needs to do for himself and not expect her to do things for him. He will always be this way! You don't want her to be unhappy and continue down a path of users and losers! Good luck!
Argh - I just read some other people's responses. Yes, she's 18, but she's not experienced enough. Parenting does not end at eighteen years old!
2007-03-15 07:23:47 · answer #3 · answered by A B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Technically, she is 18 and can make her own decisions. I'm guessing he is the same age. Calling his mom will do nothing to help the situation. She probably enjoys that someone else is picking him up at all hours of the night. You could talk to your daughter and try to make her see how he uses her. Other than that, you have to let her make her own mistakes.
2007-03-15 07:24:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A better idea would be to talk to your daughter.
Just be careful how you do it!!!
Point out your concerned that she's worthy of all the best a guy can give, and that you don't want her generosity to be taken advantage of. She's 18, and sounds responsible, so as long as you approach it from a non-hostile attitude, and let her think it over for herself she'll most likely give what you say some serious attention, whatever she eventually decides.
2007-03-15 07:25:47 · answer #5 · answered by Megs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and your daughter have a strong relationship, you should be able to talk to her without a problem and she will most likely take your advise, or at least try to make an effort so that you don't feel as if she is being used by that good for nothing bf of hers.
--GoodLuck
2007-03-15 08:54:09 · answer #6 · answered by sola07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hopefully for ur sake,shes a smart girl and eventully she will dump him,but in the mean time let it go,is it ur car shes driving is it gas money shes borrowing off of u? is this making ur life miserable if so call her but beaware she probly wont care and tell u legally they r adults and she wont have much to say to him about and probly will giggle at the fact this bothers u so much,if it were me id leave it alone,now if he starts beating on her or gets her into trouble with the law id step in but other than that back off,shes 18 and hasnt grown into being confident enough to say no yet but give it time she might not be to far from that
2007-03-15 07:32:41 · answer #7 · answered by slyshaunamichelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You need to talk to your daughter about this. Obviously his mother doesn't care that he's a lazy bum - what do you expect her to do?
This is a battle you need to fight at home. Starting with a curfew - must be in bed by 11 - that way the boyfriend will need to find another ride.
2007-03-15 07:22:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stay out of it. It sounds like you have raised your daughter to have a good head on her shoulders and she will figure out sooner or later that he is not the right guy for her. Calling his mother is like telling your child that you dont trust her judgement when it comes to guys. you could try talking to your daughter about your concerns but it really is between him and her.
2007-03-15 07:26:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hink you need to educate your daughter on the correct way to be treated. You need to adjust her expectations about what it means to be a good girlfriend and what it is to be used. I would NOT call the boyfriends mother. You may create a breach with your daughter that may be hard to repair. She will have to learn this lesson on her own. Its a life lesson isnt it. Let her learn it with your advice only.
2007-03-15 07:24:01 · answer #10 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋