I have been married for 3 years, I have done everything from doing as he wants to forgiving him for things that another woman would of left him for. I am now to the point that I am so confused and now snapping at him for really small things. I feel thier is nothing left between us, I am ready to move on, but, I have no job and I live in a area that jobs are very hard to come by, I have 2 kids, no car, no friends that have room for 3 people, A mom who barely makes it on her own, etc... What can I do? What should I do? Should I stay for the kids? Should I stick with him until I can get on my feet then run? Please help! I am so confused and depressed, I feel like running away and leaving EVERYTHING behind and never return. ever. I am hopeing that your answers will help me and guide me to do what I must. Thank You.
2007-03-15 07:07:17 · 15 answers · asked by trekken85 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Doing as he wants = Passive.
Snapping over small things = Aggressive.
What you need is to be Assertive. Being assertive means telling a person what he did that upset you, what you want him to do differently, and what will happen if he does not comply, and then following through. Assertiveness means open, clear communication of expectations. Assertiveness means you take care of yourself and that you treat the other person as a fellow adult, not as a child you let get his way nor as a monster deserving of punishment. Learn assertiveness, put it into practice, and see your marriage and your life improve by leaps and bounds.
2007-03-15 07:38:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to stay stuck in this forever? You are already making excuses for staying in unhappiness. I will admit, when you have no place to go, and no car, it's hard. But girl, it's still doable. Get a job, first of all. Even if it's while you're there. Most states have help for childcare for women leaving bad relationships. Stay for the kids? Is it good for kids to live in this kind of atmosphere? I really feel for you. But any job will get you started. Maybe if your mother could put up with you guys for just a little while, you could get a job within walking distance, (or ask that he provide you with transportation in the divorce). If not, then apply for section 8 housing without him knowing. The state has programs, but there's a waiting list, and it's long, so the sooner you put yourself on it, the better. You could get state assistance for food as well and some states even help you find work....and just start at the bottom, then there's nowhere to go but up. In my opinion, it's best to have a plan A and a plan B before you just bail though. Good luck to you. Trust me. It IS doable. I'm living proof.
2007-03-15 07:18:13 · answer #2 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did you try marriage consueling? It doesnt hurt you know. But if you must leave you need to stay where you are at for your children sake. You dont want to uproot your children without no job, no place to stay or anything. They will be the ones who will be hurt by this the most. So stay get a job, save some money then find a place and leave. But rememeber if you husband wants to be diffivult and I hope he is not if you are not finacailly and emotionally stable that would be grounds for him to fight you for custody. Good Luck and think it through for children more than anyone else.
2007-03-15 07:14:22 · answer #3 · answered by Tia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First take care of you. Get yourself someone to talk to, either a good friend or a therapist (I recommend a therapist) It sounds like you are depressed. Once you are feeling better about yourself you will be able to look at your life more clearly. These decisions are never easy. There must be a human services or family services in your city or town where someone can help you.
Also go see your doctor you may need antidepressants.
I think you will see things much differently and the decision you need to make will be more clear.
Always remember we woman are so much stronger than even we give our selves credit for!! Good Luck!
2007-03-15 07:56:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with your mother. Maybe she can let ya'll stay for a while. It might give you a chance to get a job(even part-time)to help support the kids and help your mom as well. When you are working, maybe mom can watch the kids. You didn't say how old the children are. Call an abused women's shelter. I certainly wouldn't stay where are.
2007-03-15 07:14:38 · answer #5 · answered by janice 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first off I hope you are not waiting for and answer to fall in your lap. It is actually your decision. if you are unhappy then your kids are unhappy. there are things you can do. you could go stay with your mother and get food stamps and wic and medicaid to help out with till you can find a job. I know thinking about going on public assistance is difficult but you know being in an unhappy relationship with kids is harder. This does not mean divorce it means thinking if this is what you need to do.
2007-03-15 07:14:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you could work on getting your own vehicle first, and a job... would your husband buy you a car?
talk with your mother -- if you are close and she is a sensible person, she might have good advice. if not your mother, there has to be someone you can trust and who knows YOU better than the people here at Yahoo answers.
i understand you are very frustrated in your situation... i hope things work out... i wish i had a better answer.
2007-03-15 07:14:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont ever stay for the kids they pick up on your anger and so forth towards one another and will repeat it in their relationships thoughout their lives. Jobs might be hard to come by but atleast try to find one. Okay as for having a mom who barely makes it on her own she's atleast a place to stay and I have never told anyone to do this but there is assistance out there for you. Foodstamps, afdc and so forth swallow your pride and ask for it.
2007-03-15 07:26:50 · answer #8 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you need marriage counseling. If that doesn't help, then you should consider divorce. Be prepared for a lot of work and time to get things right. Whatever change needs to happen won't occur overnight.
2007-03-15 07:13:22 · answer #9 · answered by eehco 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a job, then leave to your mom's. Help her out a little by paying some rent and groceries, then find your own place. Staying for the kids is unhealthy for all of you.
2007-03-15 07:20:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋