This morning while being "too sick to go to work >_>" i got a call from my daughters school saying that my daughter beat up a foriegn exchange student in her school because he girl said that my daughters clothes looked "à la mode" ,I am not sure what this means but i am sure its a french absinity ,my wife blames my daughters violence on me because I killed peoplr in vietnam when i was in the army ,but i blame my wife because she takes our daughter to violent movie's and buys her M-rated games ,who do you think is at fault me or my wife ??
2007-03-15 06:59:57 · 29 answers · asked by SadDad07 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You don't even know how to articulate yourself properly, not to mention your ineptitude of such a simple french phrase - and you wonder about your daughter's demeanour?????????????? You really shouldn't be surprised. I find it so very amusing that we Americans are so illiterate when it comes to basic foreign language skills, when people in other countries grow up learning several languages, i.e. their own plus one or two additional. Forget about being bi-lingual in America...... - most of us aren't even "half lingual" (just look at the way you wrote your own question). To top things off, here you are trying to play the blame game with your spouse instead of focusing on the proper upbringing of your child; how selfish and disgraceful can you possibly be??? By the way, the French girl your daughter beat up neither insulted her, nor did she say anything obscene - as you had suggested. In fact the French girl paid your daughter a compliment - which she obviously didn't understand; also not surprising - judging by her heritage.
2007-03-15 07:29:56 · answer #1 · answered by Sven B 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hello there,
Parenthood is the most difficult job and the most rewarding one at the same time.
"A la mode" is a compliment actually. The french young student was letting your daughter know that she was looking great. "Very fashionable" would be the proper translation.
I would personally like to know why you thought the French girl was "SURELY" addressing your daughter with obscenities?
The other issue is something that you and your partner need to address together. Passing each other the blame is not helping your daughter who is obviously struggling with something.
It might have come out the way it did, but the source is coming from somewhere else than just violent behavior or lack of cultural education.
You three need to sit down and talk. This without blaming each other as it will not be constructive. Listen to what your daughter has to say.
By the way, it would be a nice gesture if your daughter could apologize for beating up someone who paid her a compliment.
2007-03-18 18:37:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your wife. Just because you killed people in the Vietnam war doesn't make you bad. That's like saying people who fought in World War II are bad. You were simply helping your country. Your wife on the other hand, took your daughter to violent movies. That had a big effect on her. You need to first ground or discipline(whatever you do to her) and then have a LONG talk to her. She probably didn't know what a la mode meant because it means something nice. If she were my child, I would have a long talk with her about how some things people from countries might do.
2007-03-17 20:11:09 · answer #3 · answered by Lolaaaa! 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe both of you and society. Depending on the tone of voice the exchange student used, it could have been either a complement or an insult but it was not an obscenity. Have you never ordered apple pie a la mode? Possibly all three of you need to attend anger management classes. You may be right about the majority of the blame, but placing blame doesn't resolve the underlying cause of violence. Get counselling.
2007-03-15 14:06:44 · answer #4 · answered by St N 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well how is it you're fault when you were in the army? Did you take pictures of you killing those people and showing them to you're daughter ? You're wife needs to stop showing her all these movies that are rated R and stop making her play those games. You're daugther shouldnt be beating up people it isnt right. Yall need to have a talk to her about that kinda stuff.
2007-03-15 14:11:42 · answer #5 · answered by [[<3]] 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well 1st of all, 'a la mode' is not an insult. its more of a compliment, your daughter must have simply misunderstood. i don't think that this is you or your wife's fault. she is 14 and is starting to create her own life and beliefs. I'm sure both of you had a little help in this but neither of you are to blame entirely. don't drive yourself crazy over the little things that your daughter does, and don't drive your wife crazy either. just accept what your daughter has done, teach her the correct way to handle it, and move on.
2007-03-15 16:59:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
instead of blame shifting both of you own up to that you daughter needs to be taught that her behavior is unacceptable, then find a suitable punishment like making her take the girl to a movie
Also that means fashionable, so your daughter beat her up for giving her a compliment. Try teaching your daughter some manners!!! Try signing her up for a french class maybe then she won't make an a&& out of her self for a compliment.
there's websites that offer free translations.
2007-03-15 14:06:33 · answer #7 · answered by brandyswilkes 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Iam not shifting the blame on anyone but the movies do have a big influence on children and as far as veitnam you did what you had to do not what you wanted to do i guess so the violent should be cut off try positive movies and music as well.
2007-03-15 14:08:36 · answer #8 · answered by mrs somebody 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your daughter are a bunch of low life peasants! Learn some French!!! And, send that brat to charm school!!! Oh..... I just realized.... looking at your English, I'd say forget about learning French and first learn how to speak proper English!!! It's primitive peasants like you who are making the world a very sad place to live.
2007-03-18 12:40:28 · answer #9 · answered by Larry1972 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I tihnk its a combination.
- You are maybe a little bit to blame.
- So is your wife.
- So is your daughter.
Anyhow, you shouldn't be bothered about who is to blame at the moment. just concentrate on getting your daughter counselling or a suitable punishment for her actions.
That sort of behaviour is most definately not acceptable and you both need to make completely sure that she knows that.
Good Luck, x
2007-03-15 15:13:50 · answer #10 · answered by FreakGirl 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋