first steps to take toward divorce?

Question

everything was mine before the marriage - he has nothing and no steady income. Nothing we own together as we rent our home

We have 1 child

Answer 1

Find a lawyer

Answer 2

Step 1: Tell you husband you want a divorce. Tell him you are unhappy, why you are unhappy, and that you feel that it will take a divorce for you to be happy

Step 2: Start sleeping with other people. Guys are sometimes slow and in denial. This should help hammer the point across that you really don't want to be with him anymore and that you find the company of many strange men far more satisfying than spending time with him.

Step 3: Box up all of his stuff and put it on the lawn. This too will hammer the point to him, but not give him the option of rebuttal. Tell him, you are going to get the house anyway after the divorce, and he is going to pay for it, so why waste time. Tell him you are staying, he is going and paying, and that your new boyfriend is moving in the next day.

Step 4: Take out a restraining order against him. Some think that restraining orders are just another way of saying I love you, but let him know that to you, a restraining order is a way of saying he makes you sick, and that you and your new boyfriend don't want to ever be bothered by your soon to be ex husbands crying and sob stories.

Step 5: Get a divorce and make everything final.

Answer 3

Make copies of all financial records, deeds, bank statements, pay checks, deposit slips, bills, and anything else you can think of and put them somewhere safe (out of the house). Get things out of the house, bank, etc. that you really care about so that they don't get lost in the shuffle, broken, stolen, etc.. Do research to find a good lawyer. I hate to say it, but feather your new nest while you can. What I mean is, if you need new clothes to get a good job or you are going to need dental work soon, car repairs,or something, do it while you're still married and you're covered by insurance or the bills are shared. Once you file, it becomes all your responsibility. Try to save some money, if you can, before you file, so that you'll have a little cushion - you'll need it.

This is just a start and your lawyer will tell you more. Most family lawyers will do a divorce consultation for free or for $20.00, so arm yourself with good questions and get the most out of your 15-20 minutes with the lawyer before you sign up.

You do not need proof of anything to file for divorce as most states are no-fault divorce states anyway and it will not affect your child support, custody, etc... Save your fights for bigger things. Unless he's been beating you or something and you have police reports, finding fault in the marriage means nothing to the judge.

Answer 4

Step #1 (the most important one!!!): Have at least $3,000 set aside for the retainer for the lawyer. If your husband earns reasonable income of over $55,000/year and both of you have aqcuired substantial assets during the marriage (house, cars, retirement funds, etc), it will make sense to hire a lawyer because only a lawyer can get for you good amount of spousal (if you're not working and don't live with someone else) and child support. If your husband does not earn reasonable income, then hiring a lawyer will not make sense because you will only lose money on it. In such case, you will be better off if you can come to a formal agreement with your husband without getting the lawyers involved. Most lawyers charge at least $2,000 just to start working on your case and they will keep billing you more if the case will not settle fast. That is why hiring them makes sense only when you know that the money you can get from your husband are worth fighting for.
Step # 2: If you decide to hire a lawyer, never ever in your most wildest dreams hire someone out of the yellow pages!! Always call to the State Bar of your state and ask them to recommend you one. They will always do it over the phone. The best thing to do, however, is to go to the superior court building of your residence (your case will be handled there) and ask around about which lawyers handle their cases there. There are always mostly same lawyers handle the cases there all the time, so the judges know them. It will be a big benefit to you if you come with a lawyer whom the judges already know. So ask around there about the lawyers and their reputation.
Step # 3: Get the records of your husband's paychecks/salaries/wages/ any income. Have a documented proof of how much income he earns. Your last year tax return you will need also. The calculation of child support and spousal support (if you're entitled to one) directly depends on how much money he earns. Most guys, knowing that the divorce is coming, will try to keep their income off the books and pretend they don't make much income at all. Always keep the records of his employment and his salary ready.

Those three are the most important steps you need to know to prepare for the divorce.

Remember that part of his retirement is yours and that he is also supposed to provide the health insurance for you for up to a year after the divorce. Discuss kids' health insurance. Get the records ready of all the bank accounts and funds. Even if they are in his name only, exactly half of them is still yours if those funds and accounts were opened or aqcuired during your marriage.

Answer 5

I just went thru a divorce and the first step I took was counseling with my pastor. My husband had been having an affair and a divorce was support by my pastor on grounds of adultery, this is the only time the Bible allows a divorce. I am not saying don't divorce if he hasnt cheated but that is how I PERSONALLY feel about the matter. But after I spoke with my pastor I hired an attorney. The sooner you file the better!

Answer 6

The first thing to do is hire an attorney; decide if you and your spouse would rather file for a disollution or file for a divorce. The difference between the two is when filing for disollution, you both agree really to split everything in half. If you file for divorce, you're sueing the other. But your attorney will go over all of that information with you =) Best wishes!

Answer 7

Make sure that your mind is ready for what is about to happen, what is about to be said and what is about to be done to you, to your spouse, to your children.
Make sure that you are positive this is what needs to be done and there is no hope for the marriage of any kind.
If kids are involved, get a counselor for everyone, then get an attorney for yourself. Don't pick one out of the phone book nor off the TV or billboards. Get a recommended lawyer from your friends and co-workers.
I'm so sorry, and I wish you the best in your future.

Answer 8

Take a deep breathe and make a list of you need to do.

If you email me I'll help you make the list but there's a lot of questions that need answered.

Some sample things to put on the list

gather all your important papers, or make copies of them.

bank accounts, home info, tax returns, wills, prenuptial agreements,titles to autos,serial numbers off any firearms,etc.

Video or take pictures of EVERYTHING in your home

list of everything that was yours b/4 marriage, property,family heirlooms,gifts etc

list of everything that was your husbands b/4 marriage, same as above

list of everything that was bought while married

Now you see where the video or pictures come into play, besides proof of what's in the house.

Are you staying or going?

Are there any children involved

As you see it's not a simple answer,

If I can be of assistance please email me at [e-mail]

And no there's no charge

Answer 9

First make sure it's what you want. The worst thing to do is start going back and forth. If you do, then check your county court web page and see if you can file it yourself and save a bundle on lawyers fees (only if you know you're both going to agree on EVERYTHING). If not, there is legal aid in most states. Then, you just take the plunge. NOTHING about divorce is easy. But if you know it's what's best you just have to do it...and try to detach from the chaos of it. Good luck.

Answer 10

Collect bank statements for as far back as you can, the more the better. Also, collect tax returns and any other information you have about assets he or she may own.

Talk to a tax attorney, or a divorce attorney with a working understanding of accounting. If there is no prenuptial, you are entitled to half of the assets you both acquired after the date of the marriage. The exception to this is any assets which either your family or his family have transfered exclusively to him or you.

After you have determined what you are entitled to with your attorney, call me.. lol.. no seriously..

Try to work on the reason you want to get divorced. (Unhappy is not a good reason. Neglect, no sex for over one year, abuse.. ect.)

Answer 11

If you have done all the marriage counseling to try to reconcile and there are no doubts than you need to contact an attorney or arbitrator for counsel.

An arbitrator is good if both parties are in agreement with separation of property and child issues.

Good luck, I haven't make that step yet, but I know it is frightening.