don't know what to do about partner?

Question

im 30 weeks along with my first in a planned pregnancy. Recently I have noticed my partner become a little quiet and miserable. He has been very supportive so far and i hate to see him like this. He says he feels the weight of the world on his shoulders although we have no stresses in particular at the moment and he feels sort of heavy, like everythings pushing down on him. This really rubs off on me and gets me feeling a little depressed, like he has changed his mind about the baby. I also get a little annoyed because Im not feeling great either, its not all about him and i have to deal with it 24/7 when he can go out, have a few drinks etc and get away if he needs to! Is this normal?did your partner feel like this? did it change after the birth? Im worried and its getting me down. Any help appreciated - thanks

i have asked him, hes says he does want baby but feels down and doesn't really know why, like his life is out of his control

Answer 1

what the two of you are feeling is normal. Having a baby is life changing. He's realizing that he's going to be responsible for someone else (at least for the next 18 years) other than himself. My partner felt the same way. It did change after the birth of our daughter. He was always trying to do things with the baby and playing with her. He would take care of her as much as I would let him. One suggestion: If you breast feed - be sure to pump so that your partner can also share in the feedings. My partner felt left out b/c I breastfed our daughter for the first 6 months and he wasn't able to feed her and bond with her the way that I did.

Try not to worry. Things will work out. Life is never easy but with a baby it is enjoyable. Your realize things about yourself that you haven't thought of in years. A child makes you see things all over again. It's an amazing ride. My advice is to Love, cherish, and be happy with your partner and your child.

Answer 2

I'm 38 weeks along unplanned pregnancy and let me tell you that for any man when the birth of their first child is approaching (all 9 months) they do feel all kinds of mixed emotions. Theres a lot of stress on them cause they want to be a good father they wonder if they can be, they worry about how a baby will affect them finacially, they wonder how much life is gonna change for them after the baby is born. Like if they'll ever be able to just say hey it's saturday night I think I'll get together with some of my buddies for a few drinks or will they be stuck on diaper duty every saturday night for the next two years. They are unsure of themselves and its hard during a pregnancy for them cause they dont actually get to feel the pregnancy its more of a visual/supportive thing for them. I know this cause my partner was like this, he's been very supportive but very aggravating at times because he doesn't understand why you want to go look at baby things all the time when you're 20 weeks pregnant, that you're highly uncomfortable at times, they just dont understand certain things cause they aren't physically experiencing it. It's all emotional for them and sometimes those emotions get out of control and it can be hard for them. Now that I am 38 weeks along he's nothing but supportive, everytime I make a sudden movement or a little groan of uncomfortableness he's like are you okay, is the baby okay is he moving whats wrong, trust me it gets better, its just hard at first.

Answer 3

A lot of partners get to feeling like, OH my what have I done. Now I'll have another person to depend on me and I'll have to provide for and will I be a good dad and can I handle this, and what if I screw up...on and on. It's normal. Just reassure him he'll be a great dad, and you'll work through anything that comes up. That as a couple you are extending your love for each other by bringing a child into the world. Remind him you love him and you know he's worried, but it will work out.

Yes, usually as soon as they see that little baby, and with luck it will be the sex he'd prefer to have..some men want boys, some want little girls...and it will make things even easier. I'm mom to 3.

Answer 4

I am 26 weeks pregnant with my first planned, I totally feel where you are coming from right now it is almost like a wild streak is running through my husband, like he has to get enough parting in to make up for the time he will lose when our little boiy gets here. Let him know also that the only real alone time ya'll will have is when you have a baby sitter ao some time with you would be great. also let him know that his life isn't the only one going to change. You also are going to be a parent. I have heard of alot of soon to be fathers acting this way. Good Luck.

Answer 5

men go through pregnancy just like women do. they have to deal with the pregnant woman, don't they!!? which they should, but it still takes a toll on their emotions. having a baby is a big deal, especially for men. he may be thinking... will i be able to be a good father? will the baby change relationship with you? can i afford a baby? there are so many things that men worry about... just like women. maybe you should talk to him and let him know that it's bringing you down too. i've learned to be open with my husband and let him know how i'm feeling before it really gets to me cause we really have to work together when it comes to raising our 3 kids. it takes a team effort. when one parent is down, the other one needs to be up. you gotta have eachothers back!

once the baby is born and he sees that everything will be ok, then he'll calm his emotions a little. but do talk to him asap so he doesn't get totally overwhelmed and start doubting the whole baby decision.

Answer 6

Mixed feelings during a pregnancy is normal, but I think he should speak to a professional. He probably wont tell you the truth because he is afraid to hurt you. I am concerned that he said he is feeling out of control. Suggest to him that he go and talk to someone right away so he can enjoy this special time.

Answer 7

it could be due to anxiety about the baby coming soon. Try to be patient im sure all will be fine once the baby is born. Im sure he is just as nervous as you are. Men tend to handle their nerves in a diffrent way. Dont push him to open up to you, Im sure he will in his own time. Good luck and God Bless and congrats on your pregnancy.

Answer 8

A lot of men feel like this before birth. Just like you getting anxious about labor and caring for a newborn, men go through it too.

Answer 9

girl you need to talk to him.we cant answer your question if you dont ask him whats wrong.if he feels distant then ask him why is he backing out or what.you dont need him if he dont need you.(child support) it'll help you money wise