having sex with someone other than your partner?

Question

If myself and my partner decided together to have sex with other people on our own, that is if i slept with someone without her and she did the same but we both decided it was ok, would it in the long term work. i have heard that the fantasy and the fact are two different things and that many people have misjudged their feelings towards this kind of thing and ended up hating or resenting each other?

Answer 1

It's a bad idea. Even though both of u r OK with it it won't work out. It sounds OK but can u just imagine Ur girlfriend with some other man and u with some other girl. It will just cause heartache. I know that if i saw my boyfriend with someone else i would be heartbroken. Make sure u don't do something that u will regret in the future.

When a relationship comes to the point when u want to sleep with someone else that's a bad thing. I think u shud think of Ur relationship at the moment and think really hard is this what u want?

Answer 2

Theory and fantasy don't match, take care.

Communicate a lot. Talk about everything. Before and after. Don't let feelings of discomfort or unease sit - you must talk about them.

There are twot types of consensual non-monogamy you should investigate. Swinging and Polyamory. You should look into both. Some swingers have rules that they don't become emotionally involved, unfortunately, our emotions don't always know how to stick to rules, therefore understanding issues about polyamory is better ahead of time.

There are tons of sites to discuss both non-monogamy styles. Investigate both.

As far as what has been said before me, I doubt any of them have any experience with this. I've many friends that swing and more that are poly. I'm poly. I know many people that make these lifestyles work. And it is WORK. You can't just enter them without preparation or lots of communication and expect it to work. I know poly better, so I'll come from that direction - The lifestyle requires a lot of work, but is very rewarding. I assume swinging is too, but can't address that from experience.

Answer 3

No Sorry it does not work.....

Who was the one that bought that up was it her or u?????
Yes it true sex is just sex, But it is different for men and woman. Some of us woman get emotionally at ached to the person we are have sex with. It is harder for us sometime to just let oUr self explore with out getting to attached.

If ur relationship is strong u might over come this. Now a days even tho we say we want freedom and free sex with no string attached. We still end up having strong feeling for this people.

I hope u think thing thew CZ there r consequences with everything we do in live.

Good luck...

Answer 4

hey there, its good to see that you and your partner are being soopen with one another!

i think that you both need to decide if you are both sure you could both handle this. as a fantasy all you see are the perks, but as a reality youll soon see the disadvantages
-sharing a partner you love

-chance of STDs
-fallen for someone else
-lack of sexual drive for one another
-arguments
-jealousy
-paranoia

and say for example one you are sleeping with someone else and the other aint then think how the other one feels?

also you have to think bout the ppl that you and your partner are having sex with. they must fully understand that its sex and nothing else and that you are both in a commited realtionship-

so in answer to your question it all depends on the state of your realtionship! if you bth trust each other, have few arguments that involve paranoia, jealousy etc!

im sure no doubt you will try it no matter if you are both bit nervous, as neither of you will really know how you feel about until you have done it, but yes you are taking a chance of destroying your realtionship!

good luck x

Answer 5

This situation usually does not work. In fact it usually turns into disaster, or someone holding it against the other one later.

The fantasy is all good, but actual actions change everything. At first it might be all in fun, but I don't think it is worth the possible outcome.

Answer 6

i think that you would have to be quite a strong couple 4 it to last, as what happened if 1 or the other fell in love with the other person, and plus, this could be a very dangerous game to play, surly you can fantisize withyour partner and play games like pretending to be strangers and arrange to meet in a public as strangers, if my partner mentioned to me anything about having other partners or having an open relationship, im sorry, but you would'nt see me for dust...

Answer 7

You probably will end up hating each other and it'll ruin things. I guess it's just like having a fantasy about someone famous,if it ever come down to it, it wouldn't be as good as you'd dreamed it if you see what i mean. nah,stay clear!

Answer 8

i'd say that most likely you will grow apart, having such intimate relations with other people....
how do you know you wont prefer to have sex with that other person rather than your partner, perhaps because it was more exiting/better (in your eyes)?
This would lead to the end of your relationship with your partner....

Dont go there, unless you already have a loose relationship with your partner

Answer 9

It's commonly called "swinging." In theory, it's fine if both people really don't mind, but in reality, one person always get tired of the situation or is really just doing it to please or get back at the other, and it eventually ruins or ends the relationship.
I'd suggest couples counseling before attempting to become swingers.

Answer 10

First and foremost you should really take a good long hard and truthful look at your relationship and ask yourself why the hell the thought of being with someone else appeals to you. secondly do something about your relationship one way or the other.