How do I get over my jealousy and insecurity when my husband goes out?

Question

I try to keep myself occupied and be with my friends but the feelings won't go away. I think it's because I know when he drinks he gets VERY flirty. What can I do??

Answer 1

What does he do when he drinks and is very flirty? I think you need to answer yourself whether it is you who is insecure or is it that your husband acts inappropriately. If you think you have an issue, then by admitting it you are already on the way to sort it out. Perhaps, you need to build-up your self-esteem so that you do things that make you feel better about yourself, which in return will remind you that you "are the catch". good luck!

Answer 2

Jealousy is a sign of low self-esteem. You could never keep an eye on your husband 24/7, but you don't need to.
Other than been flirty, has he acted upon that?
Don't try to control your husband life, you two are married to share you life not to become complete and absolute owners of each other. Trust him and most important, trust your own value. He marry you for a reason right? You are the one he choose over any girl he might flirt with.
A lot of men and women flirt to some level, but that doesn't mean we're going to go to bed with then..

Answer 3

I wish there was a simple answer for this. Flirty does not mean much, but if you have genuine reasons for thinking that he is cheating, then you should investigate. Then, once you confirm that he is loyal, try to find a way to relax. If you cannot, get professional help. You probably have something from your past that makes it hard for you to trust. Maybe your Dad, or a previous boyfriend, or whatever.

The best way to know what a man is doing is how he treats you. If he gets home late, try to initiate intimacy and/or sex with him. If he had fun, enjoyed the site of women, but did not do anything, he will be totally turned on by you. If he is not....then I would start digging deeper into his activities.

Answer 4

There isn't much you can do, my ex was the same way would go out dancing, drinking come home with cologne all over his shirt. They do flirt and I still think a man needs his space but that going out and staying until 3 or 4 O'clock in the morning and sometimes all night long, there something going on with other women. They'll tell you they feel asleep on one of their friends homes because they drank to much. That works one time then it starts happening at least every 2 weeks, that friend is a not what they tell you a man, it is a woman. Men don't wear make up , women's cologne and that is the time to start packing and on your way out of town stop by a Divorce Atty. and check it to him. I have never seen a man that goes out at night that ever turned down any woman that they feel they can get in the sack. I don't trust men because I go out and I've seen those white left finger where the ring has been taken off and they'll swear I'm not married and then put make on you. I don't trust a man any farther than I can throw them and I'm not that strong., not just one man all men are the same eager to get any woman they can in the bed . ,

Answer 5

Hey Kari-I actually know exactly how you feel but the thing is-I trust my man to be faithful to me and I know that I have some insecurities within myself but yeh, I get jealous too, I think it is probably normal just to worry what he is doing, who he is talking to, etc...but if you say something to him he is going to think you are being a b****h so try to go out yourself and keep your mind occupied so that you are not fretting and miserable all night long thinking of him.

Answer 6

I feel the same exact way. I know deep in my sole my husband would not cheat on me - but it still bothers me. I try to let it pass and just deal with the churning stomach in private. Tell him of your insecurities - maybe he will tell you something that will make you feel less insecure

Answer 7

It sounds like you probably need to see a therapist because it'll help you deal with your end of it and be a great start to dealing with the problem as a whole.

Answer 8

You can look into a number of polyamory sites out there, they have a lot on dealing with jealousy (obviously).

Answer 9

First of all, I think you need to communicate your feelings to him and how it makes you feel when he goes out. Talk to him about his drinking and how he flirts when he does, let him know that you'd rather him not drink when he goes out.

Answer 10

TRUST! in ur case..CAUTION as well! try to go out wif him after work so as to ensure he never b flirty!make ur schedule involve him so tat he stays @ hm if hes nt working!