So I am not really good with putting my words in correct sentences and sometimes my flow of words just sucks...CAN YOU HELP????...........
All though dance has a wide variety of styles, each style in its unique design can benefit different areas of the human anatomy. Since there is a wide range of dance styles, the combinations of different dances are endless and customizable to each individual needs. Each customized program, in its unique design, will be able to strengthen our minds, bodies, and souls, and help us reach our goals of becoming fit.
2007-03-15 06:09:23 · 5 answers · asked by Slim 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
first sentence:
although is one word
the dance is the subject of the first sentence - then you jump to "each style" - does not flow.
2nd sentence:
since - dance styles - combinations - again jumps.
3rd sentence -
How the heck - can a customized, uniquely designed dance program - - - strengthen our minds and soul?????
May I suggest:
Dance can strengthen our minds, bodies and souls and can help us reach our goals of becoming fit because - - -
When we are able to customize a unique dance style, we may be able to strengthen our minds, bodies and souls to help us reach our fitness goals.
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If you use the 1-2-3 method of writing it may help.
1. Tell them what you are going to tell them.
In my opinion, you may strengthen your mind, body and soul by using dance to reach your fitness goal.
2. Tell them
Dance especially using the wide range of styles can enhance your physical appearance, and attributes by making you fit.
3. Tell them what you told them.
In summary, dance can enable you to get and stay fit.
If you have more questions - just send them through this yahoo site.
GOD bless us always.
MBA-Boston Univ.
CPA-retired
2007-03-15 06:20:24 · answer #1 · answered by May I help You? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A style of dance has its own unique design, which benefits different areas of the human anatomy. The wide range of dance styles, and different dances are endless, yet customizable to an individual. Each customized program, in its unique design, will able us to strengthen our minds, bodies, and souls, to help us reach the goal of becoming physically fit.
2007-03-15 06:27:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not bad but, but it should be "although" not "all though" and the phrase "in its unique design" should not be repeated in this way. I'd just drop the second use of that phrase as it is close to being redundant.
Good luck.
2007-03-15 06:15:38 · answer #3 · answered by CanProf 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds good to me.
2007-03-15 06:16:42 · answer #4 · answered by teacher sub 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Girl you doing better than me..
2007-03-15 06:17:30 · answer #5 · answered by eviot44 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋