My husband tell me......?

Question

that like 90% of husbands dont kiss there wives goodbye everytime they leave. Or tell them that they love them. He tells me that because I complain he never dose anything to show me that he loves me. He dosent want to make love to me when I ask him to. He wants me to baby his butt. Like rub on him and so on but never wants to do it for me!!!! What should i do?

Answer 1

I'd be curious as to where he came up with 90%. Even when arguing or so mad at one another that I feel I'll be a plaintiff in a divorce case or a defendant in a homicide trial, I always say 'goodbye" to the wife. I may not kiss her but never leave the house without at least saying "Goodbye dear...see you tonight". Ask anyone who was pissed at their spouse only to have them killed in some tragic accident later that day.
I also have to laugh....and sorry...but he says because you complain he doesn't show any affection towards you? Did I get that right? In addition....I can't really say that if I had my spouse come to me and say "What do you say we fool around?" short of being involved in something like fixing the car or mowing the lawn (where I'd ask for alittle more time to finish what I was doing) I can't imagine not taking full advantage of that little gift.
It seems by all appearences that you are married to a knucklehead. Just how long have you been married? I've been married for 24 years and know what?....there are times that the bedroom antics are just as exciting and fun as they were 20 years ago.
So..what you should do is tell him he'd better straighten up and pay attention. I don't necessarily condone having an affair but...well...these things to occur when circumstances such as this exist and no matter how you try and address it nothing changes.
Sometimes there are men that just can't see the forest through the trees.

Answer 2

First off, I never leave the house without a kiss and an "I love you." My wife has gotten in the habit of telling me "be careful" when I'm leaving for work. I've been known the come back in the house 5 times to get coffee, coat, etc when she doesn't say it on the first attempt to leave. She usually catches on and says it so I can leave.

As far as the other stuff, sounds like you just need to communicate your wants and needs a little better. That doesn't mean nag. That means when you're rubbing him, tell him how much you'd like to be rubbed in the same way.

Answer 3

I think he is wrong for treating you this way. My husband kisses me goodbye every time he leaves even when I'm sleeping. And as far as the I Love You thing I believe it should be said as often as possible. If I was in you situation I would talk to him and tell him how you feel. I'm sure you love him very much but if something doesn't change give him an ultimatum. You should be loved and babied by your husband. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 4

Explain to him why these things are important to you. Don't nag or complain, but just tell him simply. If he doesn't listen or continues to make excuses then that would be a sign of bigger issues. He needs to understand that you can't be the giver all of the time while he is the taker. It has to be give and take from both sides. If he doesn't make an effort to change, then you can either accept that and stay or make a decision to leave for your own sake. Perhaps if he sees that you are serious, it will make him realize that he needs to step up.

Good Luck.

Answer 5

He's giving you wrong information. All of my friends are married and everytime we leave to do something they tell each other they love one another; and rightfully so =) If he wants the attention from you and not willing to give it himself; he sounds very selfish; which isn't a good thing. Explain to him how it makes you feel and possibly ignore his requests for awhile. If nothing changes, come right out and tell him how selfish he is about things and give examples with dates etc (if you can)....that way you have proof to back up what you're saying to him. He'll either get a clue to "move it or lose it"

Answer 6

Your husband is just making excuses! My guy always kisses me goodbye and constantly says I LOVE YOU. Your guy seems to be selfish. You need to lay down law and let him know that what he is doing is hurting you. Not only that but stop babysitting him, if he gets mad tell him that you are sorry, but until he starts being more affectionate with you, that you wont be with him. If he doesn't like it and becomes unruly, it's time for marriage counseling. Something seems wrong. Get to the bottom of it and fix your marriage.

Good luck!

Answer 7

My man isn't all that demonstrative either, but I would rather not have a kiss or hug at all than have one of his hard lipped kisses or shoulder to the chest hugs. He does, however, show his affection for me in other ways. I know it isn't as romantic but he will put washer fluid in my car, put air in the tires, pick-up wine on the way home from work. Watch for the little things he does and be content. On the other hand, stop spoiling him and maybe show him less affection - maybe he'll notice and you will have an example of how it feels to be neglected emotionally.

Answer 8

Your husband is a very selfish man. I don't know where he gets those statistics but even in they were truth every one is different and if you want your mate to be more affectionate then he should take care of your needs as he wants you to take care of his.
A marriage shouldn't come to this but next time he ask you to do something for him ask him to do it for you first.
I'm sorry dear, but the only people who does everything for a man without asking or expecting love or pleasure in return are prostitutes. And you are his wife, big difference.
Imagine if you both of you are as cold as he is you'll be two roommates sharing a home, is that what he was looking for when he ask you to marry him?

Answer 9

No I don't believe that 90%...
But given today's lifestyles can see how people forget to do the little things that keep the marriage strong. Marriage needs that contact even if its on the fly. I bet you ask people who have a strong bond in a married relationships that its the small things that keeps the marriage going.

Answer 10

I think he's wrong. I kiss my wife goodbye every time I leave, and tell her I love her every day. I don't think I'm alone (at least I hope I'm not). I can't think of a single time that I haven't made love to my wife if she wanted (of course, this is one of my favorite things - even after 27 years of marriage).

I really think you ought to consider marriage counsel, if he won't go, go by yourself to see if you can figure out the best path forward with your life.