My husband and I have been married for over 9 years in the begining it was good but a good 7 to 8 years when we arrgue he thretens divorce, he has given me his ring, thrown his ring at me, he has lied to me, family, his jobs, told me that I am a waste of time, the marriage is a waste of time, that he does not care anymore about anything, he told me that he loves me but he is not in love with me, he has packed up his truck a few times 2 years ago on the way to dinner on our anniversary he told me that I deserved someone better and that I should leave him. He is a diabtic so he has difficulties getting hard! We used to have sex all the time and it as dwendled down to none so far this YEAR the last time we had sex was before Christmas. He truck dives so he is never home he has been home 6 days this year. I work for an airline so he has options to come home and fly for free but he does not do so.
The past two years I have compenplating divorce but I dont want to hurt him am I wrong?
2007-03-15 05:54:06 · 12 answers · asked by firecrackertx 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have no kids I have asked him in the past lets go to counceling and he says no we can work though it but I just don't think so. I want kids I want so much out of life I want to be happy I want to feel appricated since he is never home I do all the house work, pay the bills all the cooking and the yard work and when he is home he does not want to help.
2007-03-15 05:55:50 · update #1
Makes me wonder why your married . My brothers a diabetic and hes a horn dog said hes going to use it before it falls off .You know what they say about truck drivers they have a woman in every town that's why he cant get it up. I think he loves you like a sister but not in lust with you anymore . I think he doesn't get a divorce because he wont's you to take the first step to keep him from taking the blame . I believe the answer is in front of your nose but you don't wont to see it.
2007-03-15 06:18:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm not a man but if it's ok I would like to give my input from an outsiders point of view. It kinda seems like he has already made his decision to just stay and be miserible or be taken care of. Think about it, why would anybody leave anybody if they getting taken care of like that and don't have to do anything. Absolutely Nothing!!! I wouldn't, so I think you should really consider divorce and especially since he's not trying to seek counseling. He doesn't care anymore. If he did you wouldn't have to ask him to go to counseling because he would of already been there. I don't usually like to advise people to leave their mate but you want so much more out of life and he is oviously not on the same page. I think you should find happiness else where. But whatever you do, do not bring any kids into a situation like this, it will not, will not make it better. I promise you.
2007-03-15 06:05:57 · answer #2 · answered by misscancer10 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like depression. And if he's having sexual dysfunction, it is adding to the problem. If he's avoiding home, that is a symptom of the depression but, it will also make it worse. (I'm not a truck driver but, I'm gone all the time like one. I know that time away wears on your emotions.)
Truck driving is not a great lifestyle to stay healthy with diabetes either. That can be wearing on him. The irregular hours makes eating regularly impossible.
Some of this could also be guilt. Has he done something on the road he's ashamed of? Has he cheated? If he has, are you willing to work on that and stay married?
I know it's tough when he's saying no to counseling. But, sounds as if he needs it. He may even need to be medicated for awhile. I'd keep trying to get him to see a doctor about all this.
2007-03-15 06:22:46 · answer #3 · answered by penhead72 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is depressed .. Get him to a doctor first so with him and describe everything you are telling us. Your man will get all the good seritonin drugs his body needs and probably also a scrip for viagra or the like. Then set up an appointment with a counselor a few weeks away to give the drugs a chance to work and see what happens.
Divorce might be the final answer but at least then you will know you tried
2007-03-15 06:02:43 · answer #4 · answered by Lost in Merryland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I would expect that if I treated my wife like you are being treated that she would have walked long ago. He's clearly trying to push you out of this marriage, and you'll probably be much happier if you move on. There are a lot of issues here, and I imagine that you will find there were many more after you end this. Ask yourself - do you deserve to be happy? Let him go, and then seek counseling to help you move on.
2007-03-15 06:01:34 · answer #5 · answered by Isaac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are on a very slippery slope and headed for divorce. You need to do two things:
1. Get into relationship counseling. If this works, all the better. If if doesn't...
2. Prepare yourself mentally and financially for a divorce.
Remember divorce isn't a bad thing...staying in a loveless relationship, allowing yourself to be verbally abused IS a bad thing.
2007-03-15 06:01:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You 2 said for better or worse so stick it out. but i do have concerns about his statement he loves you but he ain't in love with you thats a line cheaters use and you said he is a truck driver and they can pickup some awful std's from the truck stop and rest area people. good luck
2007-03-15 06:08:03 · answer #7 · answered by bluemist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds very bad
divorce time I think
2007-03-15 06:26:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
life is too short to put up with that kind of abuse
2007-03-15 06:00:11 · answer #9 · answered by Rich G 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave, my God why have you stayed so long?
2007-03-15 07:31:02 · answer #10 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋