I have found out that my partner has had gay experiences before he met me. How do I know it won't happen again?
2007-03-15 05:44:20 · 36 answers · asked by masonv80 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I just want to add that I don't want stupid answers from homophobic people. I don't have an issue with his past or even if he is bisexual.
2007-03-15 06:27:14 · update #1
If you trust him and you are in a strong relationship then there should be no reason to worry.
He is with you because he wants a relationship with you and (as long as he is trustworthy) you should have no concerns about either other girls or guys.
It does, however, depend if this was experimenting or full-on relationships. If he was just experimenting I would try not to worry too much.
I had gay experiences before meeting my current partner and I know he is concerned about it. I wish i could reassure him that it is all in the past and doesn't by any means indicate that our relationship would ever be in jeapordy.
Trust is something you have to build between people. Don't be wary of him and let him prove himself to you.
I hope it works out.
2007-03-15 05:51:07 · answer #1 · answered by Rosie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to talk to him about this. It is possible that he is bisexual. When dating heterosexual women, bisexual men can feel like they're harbouring a "dreadful secret" because a lot of heterosexual women reject bisexual men through misguided fears that they're carrying STDs, or they're worried that bisexual men are unfaithful.
It depends on what he wants, and whether his needs/lifestyle is compatiable with your own. If he wants a monogamous relationship, then you'll have to take his word for it - in the same way as you'd take the word of any heterosexual male. Don't forget, heterosexual men can be unfaithful as well. Being bisexual doesn't mean he's automatically going to want a threesome, or multiple partners.
When talking to him, you need to be non-judgemental, supportive and understanding. He may be frightened of talking about it.
2007-03-15 09:05:24 · answer #2 · answered by nemesis 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it happened along time ago it was probably just him experiementing. Even if he is bi it doesnt mean that he is any more likely to cheat on you with a man than a woman (which i hope isnt likely at all).
Speak to him and get your fears off your chest.
Good luck and dont listen to the homophobic crowd they lead very small lives and arent really allowed to interact with other members of the public
2007-03-15 06:48:17 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unbelievable that ppl think aids only come from gay ppl. If u believe that, then God help u when u trust that straight guy of yours....
The issue here is it happened BEFORE he know you. A bisexual (if that is the case) can be faithful to the person he is with. Being bisexual means capable of loving or having sex with either gender. It doesn't mean they NEED to.
2007-03-15 05:56:05 · answer #4 · answered by silent sisters cristal/cristine 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If your partner had gay relationships before, it is not impossible that he'll be comparing his/her sexual experience from those gays with you and become unsatisfied or other way.Just keep on observing your partner,if you're not married and planning to settle down,I believed just take your time without rushing into marriage life if you'll only regret sooner or later.
2007-03-15 09:08:57 · answer #5 · answered by Carla 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust is the most important thing in any relationship, as far as I can see he has been honest with you about things he did BEFORE he met you. As long as he is faithful to you that is what is important, just because he has had gay experiences it does not make him more likely to cheat on you. He obviously feels very at ease with you to have been able to open up about his past. Just enjoy the relationship now.
2007-03-15 05:54:46 · answer #6 · answered by madmynx 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't. You just have to trust, I guess. A lot of people have had experiences like those. I have too, and I'm in a stable, loving heterosexual relationship with a man who I love and have no further interest in women. Consider it an OK thing, that your partner experienced it, and made a decision having experienced both ways. Just trust.
2007-03-15 05:47:38 · answer #7 · answered by chaotic_mum 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Being bisexual doesn't mean he is going to be unfaithful to you anymore than if he was heterosexual. If you love & trust him, then you should know he won't cheat on you. Sexuality doesn't really come into it as he's with you now.
2007-03-16 01:59:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't. Just as you don't know if he will have an affair with another woman in the future. Is it the gay bit or the unfaithful bit you are unsure of? Trust is important.
2007-03-15 05:52:08 · answer #9 · answered by amlab 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't know and can't know if it will happen again. I would ask him/her to be open and honest with you and not do anything behind your back. He/she owes you the respect. That goes for homosexual or heterosexual relations with another partner.
I have asked my husband several times to just be honest. I told him, if you feel at anytime you want to cheat on me, tell me so we can work it out or give me the option to protect myself from the many diseases out there today.
2007-03-15 05:50:08 · answer #10 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋